How do You Deal with Dangerous Doctor, Abusive Provider? Tips?

Posted by rsfcowgirl @rsfcowgirl, Mar 6, 2023

Most medical professionals are the greatest people in the world bc they choose work that helps humanity. (Or animals) But sometimes people with serious problems qualify for Medical licenses. They have a different face towards their peers who they seek acceptance from than they often have to their patients behind closed doors when they don't truly value patients as people. I had the misfortune of just concluding a year with an abuser.
This doctor was an independent PCP + based in an office without oversight, which is not unusual. I'm a single Senior woman. I was stricken w COVID twice+ then signed in with him for treatment of many debilitating unresolved symptoms. He looked good on paper in terms of credentials. He had openings and I needed a PCP.
He had an initial interest in deciphering my symptoms. Blood panels were perfect. He ordered an MRI to rule out a stroke bc of what was PASC but which he didn't acknowledge. The imaging revealed a meningioma brain tumor. However, the local neurosurgeon and 2 Top Ten specials indicated it was benign but untreatable for various reasons, but with the good news was that it was asymptomatic + not the cause of my symptoms. Repeated MRI showed no changes. It is expected to never become a problem. I am simply on tumor watch.
I moved to N Carolina after a lifetime on the other side of the country, just months before COVID arrived. Prior, I had decades long warm+ wonderful relationships with my doctors, who honestly never were wrong. They were just that good. But I didn't have any serious problems to require ongoing care for anything other than a disc injury that I recovered from without surgery. So I expected to continue on my same course after moving.
This PCP has real Dark Triad + sadistic pathologies. He began a campaign of doom for me, rejecting all above neuro reports+ hammering his view that my life was going downhill without any form of help. He rejected any other diagnosis like Post COVID. He was verbally+ emotionally abusive unlike anyone ever spoke to me. When I brought in a wrong form he called me by phone and said my mistake "WAS UNACCEPTABLE!" in a tone like 'BAD DOG!" He often sat w his back to me+ never look at me during visits, after. He's a large man+ his contempt+ arrogance were palpable. I have trauma from previous crime. I gave him a LEO phone number to call at their request + he refused, blasting me for a " conspiracy theory" + mandated that I may never mention it again. It was horrible. I posted here Nov I wanted to change Drs. Never got to. This guy began harassment by not reordering my 1 medication I take for several symptoms which also suppresses potential seizures tho he got multiple requests. He let the Rx run out over Thanksgiving then approaching Xmas. He saw me the day before Christmas Eve. I had not a full dose of meds for days. I said to him - he wasnt treating me for anything, I had no care plan + why couldn't be just refill my Rx in time. I had an deep infection beginning on my sternum + my BP standing was dropping to 70/30, at home, which he never took standing, after he walked in exam room.
He became infuriated! Cold controlled rage + contempt. He said, "We're done here, right now. You'll get a letter." Punctuated w his forefinger tapping the table. Shocked but ill, I asked to be transferred to another of the 20 Drs in the building+ he said absolutely not, that he won't allow me to be seen there. He said with dripping contemptuous sarcasm "Good luck finding another Dr. " I then told him he failed as a Dr much more. He was 100% statue like + non responsive to everything. We had a below zero rare freeze alert pending that night then Xmas long holiday. He renewed Rx but pharmacy was out of stock. I went back+ did get some but I ended up having my first seizure as soon as I could get home. Without timely care for the bacterial infection, it spread fast. In days when services reopened I needed office surgery + now I've been told I need thoracic surgery under general anesthesia to complete the tx. Dr said had I been treated timely none of this would have developed Lost my (minor PT) job bc I couldnt work. Was on antibiotics for a month w side effects. Biggest ending: He excoriated me in his final medical records, creating false impressions and distorted content. A vile smear job. Just FYI, my career was as an RN Specialist at the very top internationally recognized hospitals. I never mentioned this to him until he terminated me with callous disregard for my welfare, since I'm retired. He never asked about me. But I confronted him as a dangerous doctor. He was totally stunned. But caught. Dr E is not typical. But it does happen. It happened to me. He intended to extend his abusive reach into my future healthcare via medical records. But I'm blocking them + silencing his evil voice.
This is surely an anomaly. But it does happen to innocent patients behind closed doors of licensed medical professionals who are of the Dark Triad personality disorder w sadistic enjoyments.
I got a much needed cardiology consult on my own w problems identity, + under tx. I connected w someone for Post COVID tx + it's helping
These are all basic txs I could've had a yr ago.
Chest surgery is hopefully going to be easy. The surgeon is highly respected + known to be kind.
That's my nightmare story.
Any support would be appreciated. I'm still shaken by this. But moving forward.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

@rsfcowgirl

Colleen I didnt realize the title was orig plural! Thank you for clarifying that. I think you responsive information link is really important to many people. As was Becky's. I want to delete my original post if it was construed as insulting anyone else in the profession other than the PCP. Will they delete the thread with the links too?

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@rsfcowgirl, deleting the first post will delete the entire thread. I can do that for you. As author of the discussion, you have the right to make that request. Just let me know.

I find the discussion to be helpful and respectful. You made it clear in your posts that you did not want to paint the entire profession with the same brush. However, when mistakes are made, patients have rights.

Let me know if you would like me to delete the discussion or to edit your post or the title. You can contact me privately if you prefer using this form: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/contact-a-community-moderator/

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I think having terrible doctors happens much more frequently than people realize. These are just human beings too. There are terrible doctors, doctors with no bedside manners who don't really care about you or your health. They're just doing a job and they're burnt out so they treat their patients with little to no respect or care. I have had a few in my life time, which of course I see once and never see again! I don't give someone a second chance to be negligent with my health and well-being. One doctor almost caused me to go blind because of his incompetence, another was extremely inappropriate as a gynecologist. I should have reported him but I was so young and dumb, I didn't and I truly regret that. The list goes on. You're not alone! If someone treats you like this though get a new doctor immediately you have every right to feel safe and to feel that you're being taken care of. Sorry that happened to you! I'm really hoping things will get better. No one deserves that!❤️

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We give doctors a special status in our society. They are in a profession that survived the Dark Ages. So, we expect a lot from them and pay them accordingly. We trust our lives to them. Yet they are real people, just like the rest of us. They have good days and bad days. They have relationship issues and medical issues involving coworkers, friends, families, and themselves. They have feelings that can get hurt and emotions that they can't control. There is good as well as bad among them, just like the rest of us. When they do something wrong, the results can be devastating in more ways than one. When they do something right, the results can be life changing in the most positive way.

So, what is a patient to do? It is best to be proactive with your own health. The best doctors will treat you as an equal. They will treat you, the person, not your body part. I will not return to a doctor who is condescending or arrogant. I always return to a doctor who is knowledgeable and compassionate. It isn't always easy to find the right doctor, even in a quality system. But the chances of finding the right doctor are best in a quality system, like Mayo or a nearby teaching hospital. It's worth travelling, if you can. Telehealth has arrived, an actual positive that came out of the pandemic. There are some doctors who have established a virtual online network of specialties to provide services to rural areas, where people wouldn't be able to get help before.

There is some very good medicine out there. We have to do our best to find and embrace it. If you find Marcus Welby, more power to you.

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@lagrange5

We give doctors a special status in our society. They are in a profession that survived the Dark Ages. So, we expect a lot from them and pay them accordingly. We trust our lives to them. Yet they are real people, just like the rest of us. They have good days and bad days. They have relationship issues and medical issues involving coworkers, friends, families, and themselves. They have feelings that can get hurt and emotions that they can't control. There is good as well as bad among them, just like the rest of us. When they do something wrong, the results can be devastating in more ways than one. When they do something right, the results can be life changing in the most positive way.

So, what is a patient to do? It is best to be proactive with your own health. The best doctors will treat you as an equal. They will treat you, the person, not your body part. I will not return to a doctor who is condescending or arrogant. I always return to a doctor who is knowledgeable and compassionate. It isn't always easy to find the right doctor, even in a quality system. But the chances of finding the right doctor are best in a quality system, like Mayo or a nearby teaching hospital. It's worth travelling, if you can. Telehealth has arrived, an actual positive that came out of the pandemic. There are some doctors who have established a virtual online network of specialties to provide services to rural areas, where people wouldn't be able to get help before.

There is some very good medicine out there. We have to do our best to find and embrace it. If you find Marcus Welby, more power to you.

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I give Drs + all medical professionals a special status bc they do the life preserving and saving work that is directly related to quality of life. We are so fortunate in the US to have the quality of healthcare we have. Healthcare professionals are licensed. We have high professional standards that defines the quality of care we have access to in the US. Patients who are able to+ have provider options, have to do their part in the Dr-patient relationship. But medical professionals are responsible for insuring their personal issues don't interfere w their or professional performance. And the limited numbers of licensed professionals who fall short of sub standard care have to be dealt with by someone other than a patient. They need peer and licensing board oversight imo. In my experience w this referred PCP, he literally weaponized his healthcare capabilities to do intentional harm bc he has a deep problem that he CHOOSES to indulge. This man doesn't even fit into the realm of 99% of Drs. His 'mistakes' were conscious ones. So he's I don't include him in the mix with the profession at all. He's an anomaly. He's a dangerous doctor bc of who he is+ not for any other reason. He's an abuser by his nature and abuses without remorse or effort to change. As typical of these personality types, he's 'charming' initially and by the time the facade is dropped, you've already been victimized. That's what I'm dealing with the after- damage of. I have to now deal with the medical residual of that PLUS now deal with the huge burden of addressing my medical records, which are legal documents, that he corrupted to discredit+ scapegoat me to obfuscate his dangerous behavior. If any of this was due to any reason other than malicious intent by a character disordered doctor, it wouldn't be the alarming problem it is. I see it for what it is, and what it is, is shocking to me. And now, it's my problem to deal with, added to what I was already drowning under medically. I live directed by principles. I'd love to just let this go, but doing so would be enabling it and that is not something my conscience will accept. Someone who does harm with the pathological skills he has, knowingly, does not belong unsupervised in the profession. That's the bottom line. This man is not like 99% of the rest of the profession behind closed doors. That's why it's so disturbing. I checked the Internet reviews and all of his prior ones from his years of practice were removed until one new one appeared a few weeks ago. I believe he had them removed- my conclusion+ I suspect he has a history that isn't known to his peers and is excluded from assertion by harmed patients. I'm going to find out what I can and do what I can try see that this doctor get put on the radar for oversight. That's my goal.

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@bellsina71

I think having terrible doctors happens much more frequently than people realize. These are just human beings too. There are terrible doctors, doctors with no bedside manners who don't really care about you or your health. They're just doing a job and they're burnt out so they treat their patients with little to no respect or care. I have had a few in my life time, which of course I see once and never see again! I don't give someone a second chance to be negligent with my health and well-being. One doctor almost caused me to go blind because of his incompetence, another was extremely inappropriate as a gynecologist. I should have reported him but I was so young and dumb, I didn't and I truly regret that. The list goes on. You're not alone! If someone treats you like this though get a new doctor immediately you have every right to feel safe and to feel that you're being taken care of. Sorry that happened to you! I'm really hoping things will get better. No one deserves that!❤️

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Hi. I just read a post of yours from only a few weeks ago. I see you're going thru shockwaves from your medical tests. Please know I'm praying for you and I appreciate that you stepped out of your own storm to speak to me about mine. It makes your comments that much more appreciated. Blessings of health for you.

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@bellsina71

I think having terrible doctors happens much more frequently than people realize. These are just human beings too. There are terrible doctors, doctors with no bedside manners who don't really care about you or your health. They're just doing a job and they're burnt out so they treat their patients with little to no respect or care. I have had a few in my life time, which of course I see once and never see again! I don't give someone a second chance to be negligent with my health and well-being. One doctor almost caused me to go blind because of his incompetence, another was extremely inappropriate as a gynecologist. I should have reported him but I was so young and dumb, I didn't and I truly regret that. The list goes on. You're not alone! If someone treats you like this though get a new doctor immediately you have every right to feel safe and to feel that you're being taken care of. Sorry that happened to you! I'm really hoping things will get better. No one deserves that!❤️

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Bad healthcare is everywhere and it's extremely frustrating. Drs today don't care!

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@rsfcowgirl

I give Drs + all medical professionals a special status bc they do the life preserving and saving work that is directly related to quality of life. We are so fortunate in the US to have the quality of healthcare we have. Healthcare professionals are licensed. We have high professional standards that defines the quality of care we have access to in the US. Patients who are able to+ have provider options, have to do their part in the Dr-patient relationship. But medical professionals are responsible for insuring their personal issues don't interfere w their or professional performance. And the limited numbers of licensed professionals who fall short of sub standard care have to be dealt with by someone other than a patient. They need peer and licensing board oversight imo. In my experience w this referred PCP, he literally weaponized his healthcare capabilities to do intentional harm bc he has a deep problem that he CHOOSES to indulge. This man doesn't even fit into the realm of 99% of Drs. His 'mistakes' were conscious ones. So he's I don't include him in the mix with the profession at all. He's an anomaly. He's a dangerous doctor bc of who he is+ not for any other reason. He's an abuser by his nature and abuses without remorse or effort to change. As typical of these personality types, he's 'charming' initially and by the time the facade is dropped, you've already been victimized. That's what I'm dealing with the after- damage of. I have to now deal with the medical residual of that PLUS now deal with the huge burden of addressing my medical records, which are legal documents, that he corrupted to discredit+ scapegoat me to obfuscate his dangerous behavior. If any of this was due to any reason other than malicious intent by a character disordered doctor, it wouldn't be the alarming problem it is. I see it for what it is, and what it is, is shocking to me. And now, it's my problem to deal with, added to what I was already drowning under medically. I live directed by principles. I'd love to just let this go, but doing so would be enabling it and that is not something my conscience will accept. Someone who does harm with the pathological skills he has, knowingly, does not belong unsupervised in the profession. That's the bottom line. This man is not like 99% of the rest of the profession behind closed doors. That's why it's so disturbing. I checked the Internet reviews and all of his prior ones from his years of practice were removed until one new one appeared a few weeks ago. I believe he had them removed- my conclusion+ I suspect he has a history that isn't known to his peers and is excluded from assertion by harmed patients. I'm going to find out what I can and do what I can try see that this doctor get put on the radar for oversight. That's my goal.

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Doctors… Policeman… Priests… Teachers… society holds them to such high esteem, as we should since they all have powers and oaths to protect us. It is very sad when the very few bad apples take such a major campaign or tragic event to cull them out and remove them from the harm they’re causing because they’re all given much more of the benefit of the doubt for so long. It’s just so sad these bad people study so hard to aspire to these jobs only to abuse their power and hide behind the protections their chosen fields give them. I understand your frustration in trying to get justice and help protect others. I know it’s rare to have the bad apples, but I’ll be honest with you - maybe it’s because I’ve been through so many medical exams in my life that I’ve lost my bashfulness, that I’m going to say that maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to require cameras in doctors offices/exam rooms. It would help both patients and medical teams in protecting themselves, and having peer reviews when needed or requested. Technology is such that our cell phones, smart cars, and computers reveal so much evidence and clues when needed to help solve things. We have security camera in parking lots, stores, and highways, and police and their cars are getting more use of body cams; let’s add the protection and usefulness to doctor visits?

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@dbeshears1

Doctors… Policeman… Priests… Teachers… society holds them to such high esteem, as we should since they all have powers and oaths to protect us. It is very sad when the very few bad apples take such a major campaign or tragic event to cull them out and remove them from the harm they’re causing because they’re all given much more of the benefit of the doubt for so long. It’s just so sad these bad people study so hard to aspire to these jobs only to abuse their power and hide behind the protections their chosen fields give them. I understand your frustration in trying to get justice and help protect others. I know it’s rare to have the bad apples, but I’ll be honest with you - maybe it’s because I’ve been through so many medical exams in my life that I’ve lost my bashfulness, that I’m going to say that maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to require cameras in doctors offices/exam rooms. It would help both patients and medical teams in protecting themselves, and having peer reviews when needed or requested. Technology is such that our cell phones, smart cars, and computers reveal so much evidence and clues when needed to help solve things. We have security camera in parking lots, stores, and highways, and police and their cars are getting more use of body cams; let’s add the protection and usefulness to doctor visits?

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I embrace your idea of tech for accountability on a voluntary basis. I would agree to secured audio under all circumstances. It wouldn't inhibit me at all. And I would want audio/video for any surgery or procedure under anesthesia. I can't even believe I feel this way now considering this is in such stark contrast to the views I've held most of life. I'm an old gal + behaviors of all of those you listed have changed radically over the decades to a point where documentation -i.e recording- is a safeguard now more than an intrusion of privacy, imo. I think your idea should be explored for application.
When I was working in ICU, patients were under video observation+ therefore we were too when we were administering care. I was never uncomfortable. It wasn't kept in my consciousness ever.
I wish I had the recording of being degraded, scolded+ shamed in anger by my former PCP for bringing in a wrong insurance form. I went there for exhaustion, brain fog, + inability to function, post COVID. So you wouldv thought he might have realized it was a simple mistake like all the rest I was making. The audio of that would have gone viral on the Internet. It was so harsh I began to lose my hair right after.

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@rsfcowgirl

I embrace your idea of tech for accountability on a voluntary basis. I would agree to secured audio under all circumstances. It wouldn't inhibit me at all. And I would want audio/video for any surgery or procedure under anesthesia. I can't even believe I feel this way now considering this is in such stark contrast to the views I've held most of life. I'm an old gal + behaviors of all of those you listed have changed radically over the decades to a point where documentation -i.e recording- is a safeguard now more than an intrusion of privacy, imo. I think your idea should be explored for application.
When I was working in ICU, patients were under video observation+ therefore we were too when we were administering care. I was never uncomfortable. It wasn't kept in my consciousness ever.
I wish I had the recording of being degraded, scolded+ shamed in anger by my former PCP for bringing in a wrong insurance form. I went there for exhaustion, brain fog, + inability to function, post COVID. So you wouldv thought he might have realized it was a simple mistake like all the rest I was making. The audio of that would have gone viral on the Internet. It was so harsh I began to lose my hair right after.

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You described exactly how I feel. In the spirit of being positive, I think we have to brainstorm ideas that are win/win for everyone. As I (and many others in the nation) watched a high-profile double murder case in my state of a prominent attorney whose family has been untouchable for years, it solidified my belief how cell phones, pictures/videos, smart cars, smart watches etc. help protect us or solve crimes. I was a finance person/auditor, and our goal in putting controls & safeguards in place was not to intimidate people or question their integrity, it was to protect everyone from even being tempted to do something wrong by them having open knowledge of the checks & balances in place. I think the law enforcement community has generally accepted knowing they are being watched and that there's a good chance that bad deeds won't go unnoticed. I agree with you that a patient should be able to refuse audio/video. I certainly couldn't imagine any honest caregiver being put off by it, as it can protect them as well, because I'll clarify that I have no data on this, but my gut believes there are probably a lot more disagreeable patients than there are doctors. The bottom line is that we need & value them and the intent is to have a positive partnership where both parties are working on the same agenda.

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@dbeshears1

Doctors… Policeman… Priests… Teachers… society holds them to such high esteem, as we should since they all have powers and oaths to protect us. It is very sad when the very few bad apples take such a major campaign or tragic event to cull them out and remove them from the harm they’re causing because they’re all given much more of the benefit of the doubt for so long. It’s just so sad these bad people study so hard to aspire to these jobs only to abuse their power and hide behind the protections their chosen fields give them. I understand your frustration in trying to get justice and help protect others. I know it’s rare to have the bad apples, but I’ll be honest with you - maybe it’s because I’ve been through so many medical exams in my life that I’ve lost my bashfulness, that I’m going to say that maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to require cameras in doctors offices/exam rooms. It would help both patients and medical teams in protecting themselves, and having peer reviews when needed or requested. Technology is such that our cell phones, smart cars, and computers reveal so much evidence and clues when needed to help solve things. We have security camera in parking lots, stores, and highways, and police and their cars are getting more use of body cams; let’s add the protection and usefulness to doctor visits?

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You've proposed a real breakthrough concept. It has been mind expanding in terms of the healthcare system as it's been structured. For example, Drs routinely forbid recording in delivery rooms after one such inadvertently recorded this wife giving birth and then going into anaphylaxis +died immediately bc someone used a latex glove that was exaggeratedly noted she was allergic to. Was a big court case. So notices of "No recording" were thereafter posted the throughout the medical layout. I moved from there to N Carolina. This is a state where audio recording is lawful as long as just one party is aware of it. So in reality, I could audio record any conversation, including my office visits, if I wanted to. Im not a lawyer I don't know what the situation would be if "no recording" was posted +it was private property. Priv property likely prevails But if I believed it was necessary for my protection I'd take the risk.
I don't feel any bad vibes from my new Providers or other existing ones so I'm not inclined to record today.
I would want A/V of any surgery or procedure under anesthesia. But I doubt the Surgeons would accept that or appreciate even the suggestion. Doctor exercise very dominant power in their areas of self interest in the political arena. For example, when they oppose changes in legislation for expansion of score of care for other licensed professionals. So I'm thinking that unless legislation is supported by the industry, it'll be a very long time until it's implemented anywhere in it. Individual patients need to think more about self protection. I encourage you to begin writing+ submitting your idea all over all media formats. There are medical Think Tanks. You might want to get in contact with some. You have much to contribute.
Praying your health is returning soon.

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