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How do You Deal with Dangerous Doctor, Abusive Provider? Tips?
Most medical professionals are the greatest people in the world bc they choose work that helps humanity. (Or animals) But sometimes people with serious problems qualify for Medical licenses. They have a different face towards their peers who they seek acceptance from than they often have to their patients behind closed doors when they don't truly value patients as people. I had the misfortune of just concluding a year with an abuser.
This doctor was an independent PCP + based in an office without oversight, which is not unusual. I'm a single Senior woman. I was stricken w COVID twice+ then signed in with him for treatment of many debilitating unresolved symptoms. He looked good on paper in terms of credentials. He had openings and I needed a PCP.
He had an initial interest in deciphering my symptoms. Blood panels were perfect. He ordered an MRI to rule out a stroke bc of what was PASC but which he didn't acknowledge. The imaging revealed a meningioma brain tumor. However, the local neurosurgeon and 2 Top Ten specials indicated it was benign but untreatable for various reasons, but with the good news was that it was asymptomatic + not the cause of my symptoms. Repeated MRI showed no changes. It is expected to never become a problem. I am simply on tumor watch.
I moved to N Carolina after a lifetime on the other side of the country, just months before COVID arrived. Prior, I had decades long warm+ wonderful relationships with my doctors, who honestly never were wrong. They were just that good. But I didn't have any serious problems to require ongoing care for anything other than a disc injury that I recovered from without surgery. So I expected to continue on my same course after moving.
This PCP has real Dark Triad + sadistic pathologies. He began a campaign of doom for me, rejecting all above neuro reports+ hammering his view that my life was going downhill without any form of help. He rejected any other diagnosis like Post COVID. He was verbally+ emotionally abusive unlike anyone ever spoke to me. When I brought in a wrong form he called me by phone and said my mistake "WAS UNACCEPTABLE!" in a tone like 'BAD DOG!" He often sat w his back to me+ never look at me during visits, after. He's a large man+ his contempt+ arrogance were palpable. I have trauma from previous crime. I gave him a LEO phone number to call at their request + he refused, blasting me for a " conspiracy theory" + mandated that I may never mention it again. It was horrible. I posted here Nov I wanted to change Drs. Never got to. This guy began harassment by not reordering my 1 medication I take for several symptoms which also suppresses potential seizures tho he got multiple requests. He let the Rx run out over Thanksgiving then approaching Xmas. He saw me the day before Christmas Eve. I had not a full dose of meds for days. I said to him - he wasnt treating me for anything, I had no care plan + why couldn't be just refill my Rx in time. I had an deep infection beginning on my sternum + my BP standing was dropping to 70/30, at home, which he never took standing, after he walked in exam room.
He became infuriated! Cold controlled rage + contempt. He said, "We're done here, right now. You'll get a letter." Punctuated w his forefinger tapping the table. Shocked but ill, I asked to be transferred to another of the 20 Drs in the building+ he said absolutely not, that he won't allow me to be seen there. He said with dripping contemptuous sarcasm "Good luck finding another Dr. " I then told him he failed as a Dr much more. He was 100% statue like + non responsive to everything. We had a below zero rare freeze alert pending that night then Xmas long holiday. He renewed Rx but pharmacy was out of stock. I went back+ did get some but I ended up having my first seizure as soon as I could get home. Without timely care for the bacterial infection, it spread fast. In days when services reopened I needed office surgery + now I've been told I need thoracic surgery under general anesthesia to complete the tx. Dr said had I been treated timely none of this would have developed Lost my (minor PT) job bc I couldnt work. Was on antibiotics for a month w side effects. Biggest ending: He excoriated me in his final medical records, creating false impressions and distorted content. A vile smear job. Just FYI, my career was as an RN Specialist at the very top internationally recognized hospitals. I never mentioned this to him until he terminated me with callous disregard for my welfare, since I'm retired. He never asked about me. But I confronted him as a dangerous doctor. He was totally stunned. But caught. Dr E is not typical. But it does happen. It happened to me. He intended to extend his abusive reach into my future healthcare via medical records. But I'm blocking them + silencing his evil voice.
This is surely an anomaly. But it does happen to innocent patients behind closed doors of licensed medical professionals who are of the Dark Triad personality disorder w sadistic enjoyments.
I got a much needed cardiology consult on my own w problems identity, + under tx. I connected w someone for Post COVID tx + it's helping
These are all basic txs I could've had a yr ago.
Chest surgery is hopefully going to be easy. The surgeon is highly respected + known to be kind.
That's my nightmare story.
Any support would be appreciated. I'm still shaken by this. But moving forward.
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Hi Becky. An update on what I'm doing to resolve my experience. I contacted my insurance company which has a dedicated area for complaints about quality of care. I made a complaint and the recorder of it was a very good listener who read me the summary of how my complaint will be filed. I felt mildly unburdened by verbalizing it to someone who has a specific interest in it. I said that my objective was for him to be monitored for patient care and to not be on their referral list.
Also, the discussion here made me feel not alone, which was greatly helpful in bringing me some peace. I also realized how much emotional residual I have. So yesterday I found a Therapist who I will begin seeing to unravel the experience and get released of the hangover from it. She seems to be a very good fit for me. I'm getting better merely knowing we're going to begin discussing this in a few days. After she is fully briefed, + I'm less upset, I plan to write a letter to the former PCP, running it by her before sending. I think delivering what is in my heart+ mind to him directly and in specific, will bring me closure. I don't care how he receives it. I'm doing it for me.
If there are other actions to take, I'll move forward with them.
Thank you for your support. Big hug for you. You're a faithful support system and I appreciate you.
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2 ReactionsMy heart hurts for you. This is the care that is out there now. Of course there are good doctors, where are they. We the people aren't being irrational, we are being factual.
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1 ReactionI’m being ignored and laughed at by my jerky cardiovascular surgeon. What board did you use? Also a great idea is to get your insurance company involved. Maybe have him removed from the “in network “ privilege.
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2 ReactionsOh my, you poor lady. I think every person alive has their horror story. Nobody should have to suffer like u have. I've learned at 74 years old to tell an idiot doctor where to go and walk out. I did that with paramedics too. I'm done taking their inhumane treatment. They work for us. I will never be a victim again. God bless
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1 ReactionI’m so disappointed to read about doctors being offhand and insensitive with patients, it’s rapidly becoming a regular thing in our changing world. I have a similar problem with my health care provider, he has changed a lot since covid started, from a caring doctor to a cold and distant man with the compassion of a rock. I can’t even get a in office visit, I just get a phone call or he sends me for routine tests but that’s it. I really want to get off the fence and find another doctor but we have shortages of medical staff. I did want to add that my neighbour has a similar problem as yours, she is in her eighties and had a torn aorta years ago and survived, she is still able to live her life quite well. I hope you find a better doctor to help you with this, good luck 🤞
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2 ReactionsI feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. Luckily we have an abundance of doctors and specialists and hospitals near me that I don’t lack for any assistance from them but when I ask for a second opinion they ask me why and when I tell them they don’t seem to want to step on the original doctor’s toes and refer me back to the original jerky doctor’s office.
@rsfcowgirl You sound so good! I’m really pleased that you followed thru and even called your insurance company. And you have a therapist now! When you speak with her try to focus on the positive things YOU have done to make this situation better.
Will you let me know how the meeting goes?
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5 ReactionsI'm sure you saw that recording of that little baby that was turned around and slammed back in the bassinet in the hospital by a nurse, and that wasn't in a recording of the hospitals, the dad happened to be outside filming through a little area and caught it. And thank goodness he did! But nurseries should all have cameras, same with old age homes or anywhere there are vulnerable people should have cameras, never to be looked at unless something is put into question! I agree with that. I would agree if my doctor had a camera, it's best to have things on video or in writing. What my dad always tells me, if it's not in writing... it doesn't exist. Always make sure you have documentation. Video, audio or written
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4 ReactionsYes I saw that nursery video. I was very surprised that the nursery wasn't fully recorded 24/7. I'm in agreement about recording. There a huge indescribably horrific trial in UK charging NICU RN Letby with unspeakable torture+ murder of premies. Unfathomable. No cameras so it's all testimony. Sadly, cameras would have caught her sooner. Many of us agree that documentation is essential + are willing to have it used on ourselves. Let's hope those who will ultimately allow or deny that, which are the medical facility owners + those who stand to be scrutinized will not block this, if + when it is presented for consideration. As I said previously, as an ICU Nurse, all pts were on 24/7 video. All of us liked that bc we could see our patients when we were at the Nurses Station+ others could watch our patients too. Not one patient ever objected to it + it was unmistakeably visible + part of pt or family orientation.
This is a great idea Debbie had+ I hope it gains traction. Something good will come from it.
I'm going to mention it to WSJ Future of Health, which I attend every year. We just had one afew weeks ago but they always solicit suggestions + are strong on medical tech. And I participate in the Harvard Humanitarian Initiative. We just had a webinar on tech use for gathering of geospatial info to assisting in crisis+ disaster planning. There's a June Cambridge in-person gathering. While this subject isn't relevant for the HHI mission, many from the medical Think Tanks participate +are accessible + collaborate with numerous healthcare related entities. I going to submit this concept and see if there's interest. I'm not going to stress medical personnel failures as the reason, but rather other benefits. I believe I'll also submit the idea to big healthcare insurance companies + do a small cost-benefit analysis to show why they should support it and possibly pay for it.
Who knows. This may become a help to all of us in the not to distant future.
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8 ReactionsI will indeed let you know. Our first meeting will be general background. Then we'll go into this current problem. I'll surely keep you updated. Thanks for your interest + support.
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