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How do You Deal with Dangerous Doctor, Abusive Provider? Tips?
Most medical professionals are the greatest people in the world bc they choose work that helps humanity. (Or animals) But sometimes people with serious problems qualify for Medical licenses. They have a different face towards their peers who they seek acceptance from than they often have to their patients behind closed doors when they don't truly value patients as people. I had the misfortune of just concluding a year with an abuser.
This doctor was an independent PCP + based in an office without oversight, which is not unusual. I'm a single Senior woman. I was stricken w COVID twice+ then signed in with him for treatment of many debilitating unresolved symptoms. He looked good on paper in terms of credentials. He had openings and I needed a PCP.
He had an initial interest in deciphering my symptoms. Blood panels were perfect. He ordered an MRI to rule out a stroke bc of what was PASC but which he didn't acknowledge. The imaging revealed a meningioma brain tumor. However, the local neurosurgeon and 2 Top Ten specials indicated it was benign but untreatable for various reasons, but with the good news was that it was asymptomatic + not the cause of my symptoms. Repeated MRI showed no changes. It is expected to never become a problem. I am simply on tumor watch.
I moved to N Carolina after a lifetime on the other side of the country, just months before COVID arrived. Prior, I had decades long warm+ wonderful relationships with my doctors, who honestly never were wrong. They were just that good. But I didn't have any serious problems to require ongoing care for anything other than a disc injury that I recovered from without surgery. So I expected to continue on my same course after moving.
This PCP has real Dark Triad + sadistic pathologies. He began a campaign of doom for me, rejecting all above neuro reports+ hammering his view that my life was going downhill without any form of help. He rejected any other diagnosis like Post COVID. He was verbally+ emotionally abusive unlike anyone ever spoke to me. When I brought in a wrong form he called me by phone and said my mistake "WAS UNACCEPTABLE!" in a tone like 'BAD DOG!" He often sat w his back to me+ never look at me during visits, after. He's a large man+ his contempt+ arrogance were palpable. I have trauma from previous crime. I gave him a LEO phone number to call at their request + he refused, blasting me for a " conspiracy theory" + mandated that I may never mention it again. It was horrible. I posted here Nov I wanted to change Drs. Never got to. This guy began harassment by not reordering my 1 medication I take for several symptoms which also suppresses potential seizures tho he got multiple requests. He let the Rx run out over Thanksgiving then approaching Xmas. He saw me the day before Christmas Eve. I had not a full dose of meds for days. I said to him - he wasnt treating me for anything, I had no care plan + why couldn't be just refill my Rx in time. I had an deep infection beginning on my sternum + my BP standing was dropping to 70/30, at home, which he never took standing, after he walked in exam room.
He became infuriated! Cold controlled rage + contempt. He said, "We're done here, right now. You'll get a letter." Punctuated w his forefinger tapping the table. Shocked but ill, I asked to be transferred to another of the 20 Drs in the building+ he said absolutely not, that he won't allow me to be seen there. He said with dripping contemptuous sarcasm "Good luck finding another Dr. " I then told him he failed as a Dr much more. He was 100% statue like + non responsive to everything. We had a below zero rare freeze alert pending that night then Xmas long holiday. He renewed Rx but pharmacy was out of stock. I went back+ did get some but I ended up having my first seizure as soon as I could get home. Without timely care for the bacterial infection, it spread fast. In days when services reopened I needed office surgery + now I've been told I need thoracic surgery under general anesthesia to complete the tx. Dr said had I been treated timely none of this would have developed Lost my (minor PT) job bc I couldnt work. Was on antibiotics for a month w side effects. Biggest ending: He excoriated me in his final medical records, creating false impressions and distorted content. A vile smear job. Just FYI, my career was as an RN Specialist at the very top internationally recognized hospitals. I never mentioned this to him until he terminated me with callous disregard for my welfare, since I'm retired. He never asked about me. But I confronted him as a dangerous doctor. He was totally stunned. But caught. Dr E is not typical. But it does happen. It happened to me. He intended to extend his abusive reach into my future healthcare via medical records. But I'm blocking them + silencing his evil voice.
This is surely an anomaly. But it does happen to innocent patients behind closed doors of licensed medical professionals who are of the Dark Triad personality disorder w sadistic enjoyments.
I got a much needed cardiology consult on my own w problems identity, + under tx. I connected w someone for Post COVID tx + it's helping
These are all basic txs I could've had a yr ago.
Chest surgery is hopefully going to be easy. The surgeon is highly respected + known to be kind.
That's my nightmare story.
Any support would be appreciated. I'm still shaken by this. But moving forward.
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First of all it is difficult to hear there is more anxiety created by a sufferering patient with not much knowledge of understanding of what is going on. A trusted caregiver and conversation needs to be established to address one issue at a gimme to address your complaint, treat it , know what is wrong get you to your doc , connect in confidence, get hood support, no confidenc or mistakes; you need to get better. Get the right tests , doc get results , get along make sure it does not happen ; get a nice whole pic with no problems . Glad you shouted for help and know people care and maybe you need the right connection one step and a time. None the less, you hang in there (. Docs are good people. Boundaries are tuff do the part but trust is key and initial conversation
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3 ReactionsThanks. I wrote the post as I was unpacking the experience under incredible distress. I am going to edit it and replace it with a simple summary.
Betrayal of trust is traumatic. No one expects it in the medical profession. I certainly didn't.
I have a new treatment team+ am getting good recovery. I had core problems identified + treatment is going well. I have yet to address the Dr in a response to be incorporated into my medical records, but I will in the near future.
What you described is the exact process a functional provider should follow. This man was not a functional provider. Not interpersonally and not fully medically. But he was board certified and looked presentable enough. I still don't have trust rebuilt right now- but I am wiser for this. I'm planning on creating policies + perhaps getting legislation for patients rights and advocacy in my state. I've taken steps in that direction.
Thanks for responding. Hope all your medical care goes well.
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3 ReactionsI honestly think it's a great idea. It never has to be listened to unless something were to go wrong or a patient or to die. And then and shouldn't the hospital want to get to the bottom of what happened? I think it's a perfectly legitimate idea, and I'm glad they're doing this. Thank you for the information
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1 ReactionHi, all.
I think @rsfcowgirl had some great ideas for setting a good tone for a doctor visit.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/829021/
I had a bad experience when my doctor wouldn’t agree to an MRI. This really delayed my diagnosis and treatment. Several months later, when i was better, I had an appointment with her. I took a small plant as a ‘peace offering’. Since then, everything has been great between us.
What positive thoughts or experiences have you had?
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1 ReactionIt is always great to heat success and follow up ; which takes time . Mistakes or hurt on purpose ; really is a bad reflection . Thank God for a move forward and brave team members.
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4 ReactionsI unfortunately have had sooo many doctors since I’ve moved several times, and can honestly say it’s been extremely rare for me to have a bad experience given the number of encounters I’ve had, so the statistics are very good. I take advantage of feedback systems, and that means GOOD feedback! I know it’s human nature to only take time to report bad experiences, but I flatter tremendously with the feedback I give to the great interactions I’ve had, and I’ve had some exceptional doctors!
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3 ReactionsAre there threads that discuss abuses by doctors?
I would like to discuss these difficulties and learn what people are doing to resolve these abuses. Seems like every doctor and every dentist I turn to has horrible office staff and a variety of abusive behaviors. By staff and sometimes by the doctors themselves.
It has been a very very difficult journey.
Thank you for listening.
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1 ReactionSam, You may wish to review this discussion that includes strategies:
- How do You Deal with Dangerous Doctor, Abusive Provider? Tips?
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/dangerous-doctors-abusive-providers/
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5 ReactionsThanks for responding. I will check out the thread. Much appreciated.
His response sounds like medical malpractice. I definitely would get a second opinion.
US News and World Report has lists of the top ranked hospitals, by condition.
you can just Google: "US News and World Report + Best Hospitals for Cardiology, Heart & Vascular Surgery"
the link should come up.
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