How about a laugh, (hopefully)

@imallears
I had some sushi but the fish is overpowered by other stuff. I have tried sashimi. I didn’t spit it out, but I didn’t ask for seconds either. I had cod but it was tasteless. I thought I might try a cooked oyster although I didn’t think about it long but when I saw a little girl eat a raw one I gagged and that was the end of that. I just don’t have adventurous taste buds like you.
It’s true you can spit the stuff out, but the taste might linger.
I tried bourbon straight and it burnt like fire. I was 21 and had five drinks in a bar. They were all something different. Someone told me you’re supposed to drink the same thing. That was the end of my drinking days. But I never had a desire to drink anyway although besides not liking what I had, I attribute some of my lack of desire, to my dad’s accident and my desire to get high on life and not chemicals.
For lunch I had a whole bunch of different types of vegetables with some ham. I would’ve had a sweet potato, but I was out.
For dinner, I went to a Chinese restaurant and had spicy garlic chicken over white rice, NORMAL!!!
Jake

@jakedduck1

I don’t like cod either and have tried it many ways. I don’t like super spicy food…really burns my mouth. You would probably like lightly breaded oysters fried. I’ll only eat oysters Rockefeller…don’t like them plain but I understand your aversion to “stuff” like that.
You don’t drink bourbon straight…it needs aromatic bitters and is to be sipped. It’s just a nice after dinner drink especially on a cold night.
Glad to hear you ate all those veggies but I’m not a fan of ham. I roast all my veggies with olive oil, s and p or any seasoning. You can just about roast any veggie on parchment paper, dump them on a plate and throw away the paper…no cleaning…your kind of thing.
If you do get adventurous enough to try new food…keep some chocolate in your pocket to take the taste away. I’m certain there is always a piece or two of chocolate somewhere on your person.

As an aside…my son is the wine expert and he usually selects the wine if we are out to dinner. Christmas Eve, I was with my daughter, son in law and grandkids and I had looked at the wine menu before going. I knew of a very good red….not too cheap and was going to order just a glass but everyone wanted one so we ordered a bottle. I remember only one other time the waiter gave me the first glass to approve. I smelled it , looked at it and took a sip, waited a few seconds and said …very dry, nice taste of blackberries and this will go great with pasta. I felt so smart…but he didn’t know I had read up on that particular wine so I sounded like I knew my vinos lol. I still don’t know how much the bottle cost but everything else was overpriced..good but not that good to warrant the $$$.

We talk about good a lot in my family.

FL Mary

@jakedduck1 - This one's for you Jake 😂

I saw a sign that said "Duck, eggs!"
and I thought - "That's an unneccessary comma."
Then it hit me.

ENGLISH IS HARD
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not obiect to the obiect.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

That is a really good one, thanks!

This is great Jake!

When I was teaching non-native speakers of English, how to read English, this type of discussion was always so difficult. And it wasn't any easier for those who grew up speaking English, but were now learning to read English!

There, their, they're
Bear [animal] and bear [carry]
Read [present tense], reed, read [past tense]
Ginger

A mentally challenged young lady approaches an articulate gentleman and asks the question:
How do you top a car?

The articulate gentleman looks at the mentally challenged young lady and says:
I don't know. Tell me. How do you top a car?

The young lady responds: You tep on the brake, tupid!

Supposedly these are real Doctor's notes but I have not heard of anybody verifying that any one of them is real.

Actual Notes From Doctors' Patient Charts...
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male. Mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
She is numb from her toes down.

@nonobaddog

First, I love your handle. This is so funny. I was trying to pick a favorite note but couldn't. Thanks for sharing!

FL Mary