1. < Addiction & Recovery

Struggling to stop drinking

Posted by CoorSki @coorski, Jul 31, 2012

I am struggling to stop drinking. I have no doubts what so ever that I am an alcoholic, and it will kill me if I don't stop. The best I can do is to make a day or two, and then I relapse. I've worked with AA for over 5 years, and I am still drinking. It is a huge burden, and maybe I've painted myself in a corner tight enough that I have no choice but not to drink. I would like to join in a discussion with people who have successfully stopped their alcohol abuse, and could possibly assist me as I attempt once again not to drink. I have no delusions about ever being able to drink alcohol sensibly in the future. I know, that for me, the only option is total and permanent abstinence. Typically by the weekend, I'll be feeling rather well, and then I decide I can have some. If I drink beer, on average, I drink at least 12 and sometimes up to 14. I usually don't drink hard liquor of wine as it really sneaks up on me, and the next thing I know it's the next morning, and I don't remember much. The one thing I am trying is to eat late in the afternoon so I have a full stomach as I approach my alcohol abuse hour/hours (typically starting around 3 to 5, and then drinking for 4 hours after starting).

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mcmurf2 | @mcmurf2 | Aug 27, 2019

hi! I too an struggling. Have you found a group yet to talk to on line? I just got chewed out by my sponsor ( lovingly) when I admitted to her that I had a drink last night. I did not want to 'bother her' at that hour of night. I did look back thru the step work we started ( I'm just started with NA. only been to 3 meetings).. ( will go at the 5:00 today due to my slip last night). I have to drive 1.5 hours to a meeting. I just did not know who to 'bother'. I too, need help. I have not learned yet how to 'ask' for help when I actually NEED to talk to someone. Have you found any support yet? I now know I HAVE to call my sponsor. but,, always need another avenue. I hope you are doing ok now. It is tough. This sucks. Seems like I'm always failing.. and I failed last night. Still learning here.. I have a long ways to go.

REPLY
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Aug 27, 2019

Hello @mcmurf2, I appreciate your honesty in sharing some about your slip back into drinking. I'd like to tag @johnwhitfield who has shared something about relapses.

@mcmurf2 Just a thought to consider. Do you have an understanding as to what triggered your drinking? Sometimes insight about the triggers for addiction can help folks plan a new strategy when those triggers become evident.

REPLY
1 reply
luckonetj | @luckonetj | Aug 27, 2019
In reply to @lisalucier "Hi, @luckonetj - wondering if you'd share more about how you got from what you called..." + (show)
@lisalucier

Hi, @luckonetj - wondering if you'd share more about how you got from what you called a constant and unreasonable rationalization of your behavior with drinking to quitting alcohol? Was altering your thought processes part of what helped you, or what got you out of the rationalization?

Jump to this post

Taking alcohol out of my reward system and changing my daily schedule. Wake early and recite my favourite quote while listening to music. Before I was stricken with liver disease I would quit drinking for a long period of time. Exercise help a great deal, I felt good, but I was the same person. Post liver transplant I feel that I have eliminate excuses from my daily life. I think In the past I made up excuses to drink. 😁

REPLY
johnwhitfield | @johnwhitfield | Aug 28, 2019
In reply to @hopeful33250 "Hello @mcmurf2, I appreciate your honesty in sharing some about your slip back into drinking. I'd..." + (show)
@hopeful33250

Hello @mcmurf2, I appreciate your honesty in sharing some about your slip back into drinking. I'd like to tag @johnwhitfield who has shared something about relapses.

@mcmurf2 Just a thought to consider. Do you have an understanding as to what triggered your drinking? Sometimes insight about the triggers for addiction can help folks plan a new strategy when those triggers become evident.

Jump to this post

I think getting sober are prone to more triggers. Not to say maintaining sobriety you still are vulnerable to triggers too. Generally speaking people, places, emotional state, physical states, and spiritual states are triggers. Getting sober old people, places, and things are powerful triggers. This may sound simple, but the truth is I am an alcoholic. I have a disease that tells me I do not have a disease. It has a build-in condition of built-in forgetters, Denial! Theses are a few that makes it a disease. It makes no commons sense to repeat behaviors with negative consequences and do them over and over. For my relapse is based on lack of support, not working a program and attending meetings. Hope this helps!.

REPLY
2 replies
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Aug 28, 2019
In reply to @johnwhitfield "I think getting sober are prone to more triggers. Not to say maintaining sobriety you still..." + (show)
@johnwhitfield

I think getting sober are prone to more triggers. Not to say maintaining sobriety you still are vulnerable to triggers too. Generally speaking people, places, emotional state, physical states, and spiritual states are triggers. Getting sober old people, places, and things are powerful triggers. This may sound simple, but the truth is I am an alcoholic. I have a disease that tells me I do not have a disease. It has a build-in condition of built-in forgetters, Denial! Theses are a few that makes it a disease. It makes no commons sense to repeat behaviors with negative consequences and do them over and over. For my relapse is based on lack of support, not working a program and attending meetings. Hope this helps!.

Jump to this post

Hi @johnwhitfield,
Thank you for this great post about triggers. I hope that @mcmurf2 and others in our discussion group will read your post and take time to understand what their triggers are so that they too can maintain sobriety.

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mcmurf2 | @mcmurf2 | Aug 28, 2019

@johnwhitfield, yes.. great post. thank you for 'tagging' me in this. It is very true.. and I have MANY triggers. I went to a meeting last night and going again today. Then , going with my sponsor for a trip to our old ranch to ride it for the next couple days. I"m sure there will be a lot of talk. With all the loss I have experienced in the last 8 months. It has brought me to my breaking point. But. those triggers are very FRESH. REALLY hard to start this journey in this condition. Triggers are ALWAYS around me. I have a good sponsor.. she is strict. I push her. ( not intentionally), but ,, that is my bad trait that I carry with me. I have a whole life change ahead of me. I do realize it will not happen over night.. but dang.. seems like I am always looking at things the wrong way. I know my sponsor gets frustrated with me. ( but she also praises me when I finally figure something out). I hate being the way I am. especially to the ones that are trying to help me. I also go to counseling. There is just so much to change. I hope the people close to me and helping me hang in there with me.

REPLY
mcmurf2 | @mcmurf2 | Aug 30, 2019
In reply to @johnwhitfield "I think getting sober are prone to more triggers. Not to say maintaining sobriety you still..." + (show)
@johnwhitfield

I think getting sober are prone to more triggers. Not to say maintaining sobriety you still are vulnerable to triggers too. Generally speaking people, places, emotional state, physical states, and spiritual states are triggers. Getting sober old people, places, and things are powerful triggers. This may sound simple, but the truth is I am an alcoholic. I have a disease that tells me I do not have a disease. It has a build-in condition of built-in forgetters, Denial! Theses are a few that makes it a disease. It makes no commons sense to repeat behaviors with negative consequences and do them over and over. For my relapse is based on lack of support, not working a program and attending meetings. Hope this helps!.

Jump to this post

hi! triggers.. hum,, yes. lots of them,,, or,, lots of excuses... sorrow and being shamed will do it every time. My sponsor and I did walk backwards the next AM to figure this out. I have a lot to learn... I"m impatient. but,, there is NO MORE alcohol in the house,, and won't be. so now,, it is time to work on the inner 'triggers' that come up. I guess there is a comfort zone in there. I have to make a new comfort zone. And, I WILL call ,, sponsor or someone ( got a permission and a few more numbers at the last meeting).

REPLY
2 replies
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Aug 30, 2019
In reply to @mcmurf2 "hi! triggers.. hum,, yes. lots of them,,, or,, lots of excuses... sorrow and being shamed will..." + (show)
@mcmurf2

hi! triggers.. hum,, yes. lots of them,,, or,, lots of excuses... sorrow and being shamed will do it every time. My sponsor and I did walk backwards the next AM to figure this out. I have a lot to learn... I"m impatient. but,, there is NO MORE alcohol in the house,, and won't be. so now,, it is time to work on the inner 'triggers' that come up. I guess there is a comfort zone in there. I have to make a new comfort zone. And, I WILL call ,, sponsor or someone ( got a permission and a few more numbers at the last meeting).

Jump to this post

All of this sounds great, @mcmurf2!

REPLY
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Aug 30, 2019

Hi All: I recently received a blog from Smart Recovery regarding "A New Look at the Stages of Change." I was thinking you might want to read it as well, here is the link,

https://www.smartrecovery.org/a-new-look-at-the-stages-of-change/?

I was really impressed by #3 and #4. For those of you have done, "Preparation" and "Action" would you share how you did this?

REPLY
Lisa Lucier | @lisalucier | Sep 4, 2019
In reply to @mcmurf2 "hi! triggers.. hum,, yes. lots of them,,, or,, lots of excuses... sorrow and being shamed will..." + (show)
@mcmurf2

hi! triggers.. hum,, yes. lots of them,,, or,, lots of excuses... sorrow and being shamed will do it every time. My sponsor and I did walk backwards the next AM to figure this out. I have a lot to learn... I"m impatient. but,, there is NO MORE alcohol in the house,, and won't be. so now,, it is time to work on the inner 'triggers' that come up. I guess there is a comfort zone in there. I have to make a new comfort zone. And, I WILL call ,, sponsor or someone ( got a permission and a few more numbers at the last meeting).

Jump to this post

Hi, @mcmurf2 - have you gotten to start some of the work on the inner triggers you mentioned?

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