Dealing with verbal abuse: Any suggestions?

Thank you for your kind reply. I need to think before answering

I'm new to this and husband recently had a cancer diagnosis. He's always been a rather gruff and dominating type, but since the cancer diagnosis he has become downright verbally abusive all the time, not just to me, but nearly anyone (cashiers, tellers, etc.). It was a bad night last night after a surgical procedure, and this morning I was blamed for everything. Yeah, like years of smoking, drinking, eating crap, failing to go to the doctor and getting esophageal cancer is somehow all my fault and I'm the idiot. Of course objectively I know this is the effect of many emotional and physical things: cancer, pain, Oxy, etc., but it is incredibly hard to be treated as the emotional punching bag for a cancer patient.

Sometimes it just helps to know that this is a common situation and you're not making it up or being the unreasonable one.

My husband was a cancer patient for 5 years. He tried to be abusive but I stopped this right away. I think one thing is losing their ability to function and don't like losing control. He was an heavy drinker but never on the job. He had a to cut back on alcohol. He probably could have lived a lot longer but didn't like the MD cutting his alcohol. He made the choice to stop chemo. His body, his choice. One vn year later bone cancer. New MD, great person, set him straight on drinking. She told him she had patients who wanted to live, don't waste my time. He is shaking so hard to handle a glass. I was pouring his pop fir him and he hit my hand hard. I picked up my purse and walked out of the restaurant. They couldn't find me. I was in my car. He came out. I didn't help him. Fold your bv walker, get in vehicle by yourself, seat belt by yourself. Never go out vn to dinner or lunch again. Want to get his prescription. I gave him the check book. I didn't help. I stopped cooking and no more help. I told him, if you ever touch me again, you will have to get another caregiver. I am done. No more problems. They have people who will help, insurance should help. The MDs and staff helped me and I received free training for his dual Hickman port. I had an LVN certificate but didn't stay in medical field.
When he starts being abusive, pick up your purse and walk out. If he isn't able to be alone find someone to help you walk away.
Prayers. No more problems with his abuse.

I know this seems so easy but when the abuse gets to much safely leave until things cool down. Have an emergency kit packed, get a plan with some trusted people and take care of yourself dave

My husband was a cancer patient for 5 years. He tried to be abusive but I stopped this right away. I think one thing is losing their ability to function and don't like losing control. He was an heavy drinker but never on the job. He had a to cut back on alcohol. He probably could have lived a lot longer but didn't like the MD cutting his alcohol. He made the choice to stop chemo. His body, his choice. One vn year later bone cancer. New MD, great person, set him straight on drinking. She told him she had patients who wanted to live, don't waste my time. He is shaking so hard to handle a glass. I was pouring his pop fir him and he hit my hand hard. I picked up my purse and walked out of the restaurant. They couldn't find me. I was in my car. He came out. I didn't help him. Fold your bv walker, get in vehicle by yourself, seat belt by yourself. Never go out vn to dinner or lunch again. Want to get his prescription. I gave him the check book. I didn't help. I stopped cooking and no more help. I told him, if you ever touch me again, you will have to get another caregiver. I am done. No more problems. They have people who will help, insurance should help. The MDs and staff helped me and I received free training for his dual Hickman port. I had an LVN certificate but didn't stay in medical field.
When he starts being abusive, pick up your purse and walk out. If he isn't able to be alone find someone to help you walk away.
Prayers. No more problems with his abuse.

My husband, 89, has dementia. For all of our married life he used silence and refusing to eat in order to 'control' me. I found it easier do basically do as he wished and then he was loving. But I gave up part of myself.
The dementia has triggered more anger and verbal abuse. We moved in with my daughter as I could no longer care for him by myself. Her advice was to walk away when he got abusive. And she would go with me. Sometimes it was really hard, like when he fell. After making sure he hadn't suffered any injuries in the fall we tried to help him get up. He wouldn't listen to us - wanted us to pull him up! He weighs about 200 lbs - I'm 5'3" - Robin just had foot surgery on both feet and wasn't even supposed to be standing. When we told him we couldn't do that he turned completely beyond even X-rated language. Gave him a pillow and blanket and went outside with a cup of coffee. Later he listened to our suggestions. Twice since then we did have to call 911 - other than a cut on the head once (no stitches) he was okay. By the next day he was all sweetness and light. But, unfortunately, in his state that only tends to last until he demands something and I don't jump, or jump fast enough. Old habits are hard to break.
Suggest someone you can go to, if only for coffee or a walk when he gets abusive. Prayers are with you.

I do have a therapist that I like. I was just hoping to talk to others that have been through this. I am belittled, mocked, put down, etc most of the day every day beginning at 5:30am. I am very good at behaving patiently despite it all but it really wears me out

I can really relate to what you are dealing with. All my husband does is yell at me all the time. He has dementia, sleep apnea, diabetic neuropathy in both feet, and degenerative disc disease in his pain plus OCD! I know he is in pain but that is no reason to take it out on me. I am worn out emotionally and physically from his constant yelling and accusing me if he can't find something. It I am on the phone he resents it since I am not giving him all my attention. I have health problems too but that does not matter since it is all him. He is 77 and I am 76. This is no way to enjoy your senior years. We have no family so and he has no friends so, of course, he takes everything out on me.