Loss of wife: Still having a hard time sleeping. Alone a lot.

That is so tragic @mikaylar
Sending hugs and prayers your way. I need to be more in touch spiritually- and attending church might help too.

Hi @ccarper welcome. I see from your profile that you have also lost a life partner. How are you doing? What’s your favourite memory?

I still struggle with learning to accept the loss. There are many, many memories I consider favorite, but at the top of the list is the day I said “I do”!

@ccarper, I bet @IndianaScott can relate.

I love that the top of your memory list is the day you said "I do". Funny (and lovely) how after spending years together, our mind's eye holds the image of our first days.

Do you have family around you? How are you finding moving within your social circles?

Yes, I have family reasonably close. Kids and Grandkids.
I also have many friends who have helped me navigate the change in my life. There are days, however, that I am terribly depressed and lonely. Then, I have to consider how good it is for Jan to be in Heaven and rejoicing that she won the battle with breast cancer. No more pain. No more worry. For all of eternity!! Just knowing that helps me endure.

It's a shame this thread of conversation came to an end a few years ago, because it is timeless. I lost my husband in April this year (2024) "all of a sudden and out-of-nowhere", as I explain to all. He had an acute attack of Pancreatitis. He had a bad gut ache on Friday morning, went in to a coma on Sunday morning, and died Tuesday morning. I was in Germany traveling, which he encouraged me to do, as we are empty-nesters and he was still a year away from retirement (by choice - he loved his work - tho he was nothing like a work-aholic - he was home by 6:00PM every evening). I made it home by Sunday afternoon, and my kids were able to make it to the hospital by that evening. We kept watch by his bedside. We were in TOTAL disbelief. What happened ??? He was a hearty guy, perfectly fine. We kept thinking he would pull thru. But he didn't. He died. Once LOVELY family and friends went back to their lives (as they should), our kids too, I had to face the loneliness and gut-wrenching pain of the loss. Every inch of our home is a reminder of my husband. At times, it feels truly unbearable, with crying so deep that I feel like I'm choking on my own throat. My Faith in Jesus rescues me at those lowest points. Also helpful: my neighbor (also a widow) gave me a book called: Healing After Loss by Marth W. Hickman. It's a daily devotional, many pages of which truly speak to where I'm at. I recommend it very highly. It has something for every widow / widower. Thank you for "listening". Best wishes to all who struggle with this. I pray that those who've gone before us and tell us that time will heal/help are correct. - LB