Loss of wife: Still having a hard time sleeping. Alone a lot.

Posted by jerrynord @jerrynord, Sep 21, 2021

I lost my wife 4 months ago and still have a hard time sleeping and constant thoughts of quilt for not giving her enough attention. Alone a lot. All children live far away.

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Jerry, I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. I went through the same thing with my Dad years ago when my Mom passed away and it was so hard for him. Just know that the sleep disruption and guilt are normal responses to your loss. I am so glad this forum exists so that you have a community of caring people to reach out to. Don't isolate yourself, talk to people when you're feeling overwhelmed and don't be afraid to share your grief. You don't have to be strong and hold it all in. Thinking of you and wishing for you to experience some peace and comfort.

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I’m struggling after losing the love of my life almost 6 weeks ago. I’m following this post – it’s comforting to hear that we all have our personal way of dealing with grief. That how I’m feeling is okay. I still have anger and disbelief that he’s really gone. But most of the time i just cry. Being alone is so difficult –

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@mlenney167

I’m struggling after losing the love of my life almost 6 weeks ago. I’m following this post – it’s comforting to hear that we all have our personal way of dealing with grief. That how I’m feeling is okay. I still have anger and disbelief that he’s really gone. But most of the time i just cry. Being alone is so difficult –

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I am so sorry Annie, I'm glad you're here and can share and not feel so alone. And yes, the anger and denial are very common and expected – at this stage especially. We all grieve on our own time and our own way and your feelings are always valid. Definitely do reach out on here, and if you are on social media at all, like facebook, there are groups you can join there too for people living with grief. Do what you can to surround yourself with people to talk to and don't let yourself become isolated. I promise you that there are so many people who care!

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@jerrynord

We had been married for 57 years. She had gone through many medical problems from heart surgery, cancer, broken limbs, diabetes over the years. Recovering well from a broken hip and walking on her own and then started having balance, taste, sleep problems. Then high temperature which she was rushed to the hospital and diagnosed with Sepsis. Four days later she died.
So this was sudden and unexpected. Church groups helped but I live in a very small community with no real close friends or family.

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@jerrynord, Please accept my sincere sympathy on the loss of your dear wife. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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@rosemarya

@jerrynord, Please accept my sincere sympathy on the loss of your dear wife. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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Thanks Rosemary. Keep up your good work.

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@mlenney167

I’m struggling after losing the love of my life almost 6 weeks ago. I’m following this post – it’s comforting to hear that we all have our personal way of dealing with grief. That how I’m feeling is okay. I still have anger and disbelief that he’s really gone. But most of the time i just cry. Being alone is so difficult –

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I don't cry a lot but it is hard to talk to someone in a normal conversation about my loss.
But I do feel better after the conversatiin.

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@jerrynord

I don't cry a lot but it is hard to talk to someone in a normal conversation about my loss.
But I do feel better after the conversatiin.

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For anyone experiencing a loss, do not listen to Heartbreak Hotel by Elvis.

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@jerrynord

For anyone experiencing a loss, do not listen to Heartbreak Hotel by Elvis.

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Oh dear, Jerry. Did music trigger a sad moment for you? How are you doing now? Tell me something about your wife that you'd like us to know about her.

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@colleenyoung

Oh dear, Jerry. Did music trigger a sad moment for you? How are you doing now? Tell me something about your wife that you'd like us to know about her.

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Yes that song triggereed some emotions. I still have a difficult time falling asleep. Dr gave me a prescription but after a week still not working.
Nothing to say about my wife right now.

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Losing the love of your life is not easy. My husband of over 56 years passed away in Jan. He had pulmonary fibrosis. So we knew what the end result was going to be. For that I feel blessed to have had the time to travel, sit on the beach and fall in love again. He was able to get all our business in order and make that part of his passing easier for me. We moved close to our son, because he knew I was going to need some help and support. That has been such a blessing to me. My advice to anyone as you get older, move close to family. Even with all this, each day brings a new challenge. We had been together since we were teenagers. But, even though I have days that the simplest things bring tears, I am happy that he is with loved ones and he can breathe again. I am getting out and have taken some trips alone and going back to places we loved. I joined a grief share group which has been very helpful. I have been keeping a journal of my thoughts and feelings. That has helped a lot. It's like I am writing my husband letters. As a Christian, I know that my husband was a gift from God. And I try to understand that my time for having that gift is over. But I know that my love one and I are part of a bigger plan and that we will see one another again. For me, it's time to say goodbye to what was and move to embrace what is. May God surround you with his love and bring you comfort.

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