Loneliness: Why am I depressed?

Posted by nanette2022 @nanette2022, Aug 14, 2021

I have everything to be happy for yet I am depressed because I live by myself, I have no family here, and loneliness is starting to get the best of me. I love to write (I am a published author) love to cook (but no one cares to come for dinner) and gardening. Why am I so sad?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@lindasmith1222

The last four mornings I have woken with deep depression. I am on buproprion. I moved to a different state 2 months ago. My 'honeymoon' is over. No friends or family. I pushed everyone from my home state away from me. I cannot get in to see a psychiatrist for 6 weeks. I wish it was all over.

Jump to this post

@lindasmith1222 Moving to a new area can cause a big shift in our viewpoint, that's for sure. When I moved here three years ago, 800+ miles from everyone I knew, it took a long period of adjustment, getting used to a new lifestyle, new climate pattern, new town. I had to make myself get out to meet people, especially being here mostly by myself, and knowing I needed to have someone in mind to call if help was needed. As someone who avoids crowds and people, this was quite a challenge, let me tell you!

Are you taking the same dose of buproprion as before? The stressors of the move may have covered over some underlying things, and now you are getting more used to your new location. Can you reach out to the prescribing doctor and seek their opinion? I'm here for you!
Ginger

REPLY
@gingerw

@lindasmith1222 Moving to a new area can cause a big shift in our viewpoint, that's for sure. When I moved here three years ago, 800+ miles from everyone I knew, it took a long period of adjustment, getting used to a new lifestyle, new climate pattern, new town. I had to make myself get out to meet people, especially being here mostly by myself, and knowing I needed to have someone in mind to call if help was needed. As someone who avoids crowds and people, this was quite a challenge, let me tell you!

Are you taking the same dose of buproprion as before? The stressors of the move may have covered over some underlying things, and now you are getting more used to your new location. Can you reach out to the prescribing doctor and seek their opinion? I'm here for you!
Ginger

Jump to this post

Hi Ginger. Thanks for contacting me. Your story seems like mine. The prescribing psychiatrist is not approachable. I have had zoom meetings with her for 2 years now and I don't think we will ever be in the same room together again. She is swamped with patients. Not too many psychiatrists anymore with the approval of gp doctors and psychologists to prescribe psychotropic medications. As this day goes on I feel a tad better. Yes, I am on the same dose. I have an appt with a new psychiatrist here, but I have waited one month and have 2 more weeks to wait before my 1st appt.

REPLY
@colleenyoung

Hi Linda, newness is attractive. It can also mask or distract from underlying issues. I'm sorry to hear the honeymoon in over. It's good that you have recognized what's going on and have made an appointment to see a professional. Great first step.

The next great step is that you reached out to your virtual friends on Connect. Here you can talk to people right now. I'm listening.

What has changed in the last 4 days?

Jump to this post

Rejection. Loss of an old friendship. It is part of moving away but for some reason unknown to me I am taking this loss very hard. Well, we were good friends. Supportive is a good way to describe our friendship. It took years to evolve, Any suggestions are welcome!

REPLY
@lindasmith1222

Hi Ginger. Thanks for contacting me. Your story seems like mine. The prescribing psychiatrist is not approachable. I have had zoom meetings with her for 2 years now and I don't think we will ever be in the same room together again. She is swamped with patients. Not too many psychiatrists anymore with the approval of gp doctors and psychologists to prescribe psychotropic medications. As this day goes on I feel a tad better. Yes, I am on the same dose. I have an appt with a new psychiatrist here, but I have waited one month and have 2 more weeks to wait before my 1st appt.

Jump to this post

@lindasmith1222 I am happy to read you are feeling better as the day has gone on. Those two weeks will fly by quicker than you think, I bet. So, now you are in a new state, there are many things to discover. If you are near a town, there are new roads to learn, new shops to find out about, community events you might be interested in, new landscapes to uncover [and find a few favorites!], etc. Is there a newspaper to subscribe to, to keep you in the loop of information?

Something that has always helped me, is to write it out. Write what is your biggest obstacle, write a letter to it, and "talk it out". Do you think that might be a benefit to you?
Ginger

REPLY
@gingerw

@lindasmith1222 I am happy to read you are feeling better as the day has gone on. Those two weeks will fly by quicker than you think, I bet. So, now you are in a new state, there are many things to discover. If you are near a town, there are new roads to learn, new shops to find out about, community events you might be interested in, new landscapes to uncover [and find a few favorites!], etc. Is there a newspaper to subscribe to, to keep you in the loop of information?

Something that has always helped me, is to write it out. Write what is your biggest obstacle, write a letter to it, and "talk it out". Do you think that might be a benefit to you?
Ginger

Jump to this post

I had written numerous children's books, none published although adults I lent them to thought I should. I wrote them for my grandchildren. They are about depression, in case this is a mental disorder that is generational, which I believe is a strong possibility although I have never kept up with any studies to verify this. Now my depression keeps me from enjoying life or doing anything. Today I will get out of the house, but I have to force myself or drinks many cups of coffee!

About my first psychiatric appointment coming up, it will just be a history, I am sure. Establishing any relationship with anyone is both frightening and difficult. I depended a great deal on my family and they are ALL either dead or not talking to me because I am 'nuts.' I think those are the nutty ones as I do not see any of them trying to improve their lot. Ti ur credit, we are here, reaching out and trying to improve our lives.

REPLY
@lindasmith1222

I had written numerous children's books, none published although adults I lent them to thought I should. I wrote them for my grandchildren. They are about depression, in case this is a mental disorder that is generational, which I believe is a strong possibility although I have never kept up with any studies to verify this. Now my depression keeps me from enjoying life or doing anything. Today I will get out of the house, but I have to force myself or drinks many cups of coffee!

About my first psychiatric appointment coming up, it will just be a history, I am sure. Establishing any relationship with anyone is both frightening and difficult. I depended a great deal on my family and they are ALL either dead or not talking to me because I am 'nuts.' I think those are the nutty ones as I do not see any of them trying to improve their lot. Ti ur credit, we are here, reaching out and trying to improve our lives.

Jump to this post

lindasmith1222 For me, I have found recognizing my depression has held me back is one of the first steps to gain control over the situation and get back on my feet! It sometimes has been a hard-fought battle to own up to, as depression is not supposed to be something we admit to, according to many people [including ourself]! So, kudos to you for seeing how it is affecting you, and the desire to help yourself; give yourself a pat on the back for that!

Make you get out today. I can almost guarantee you will feel better for it, even if just a little bit. Do something that makes you smile either inside or on your face. When you sit down to give a history, you might end up verbalizing something that will resonate with your inner being, that is heard. Our brain processes audible words in a different area. Establishing a relationship with anyone often means we become vulnerable, which can be very frightening. Remember, people you decide to let in to your life now, are people of your choosing.
Ginger

REPLY
@lindasmith1222

I had written numerous children's books, none published although adults I lent them to thought I should. I wrote them for my grandchildren. They are about depression, in case this is a mental disorder that is generational, which I believe is a strong possibility although I have never kept up with any studies to verify this. Now my depression keeps me from enjoying life or doing anything. Today I will get out of the house, but I have to force myself or drinks many cups of coffee!

About my first psychiatric appointment coming up, it will just be a history, I am sure. Establishing any relationship with anyone is both frightening and difficult. I depended a great deal on my family and they are ALL either dead or not talking to me because I am 'nuts.' I think those are the nutty ones as I do not see any of them trying to improve their lot. Ti ur credit, we are here, reaching out and trying to improve our lives.

Jump to this post

Dearest Linda, I can relate and this is what I have decided to do: I will no longer focus on taking the thorns out of the rose's stem, I will focus on the flower itself. By following too many "focus groups" I focused too much on the problems of everyone, I do not see many solutions. When I send an email I attach to it a signature going out:

How to be happy?Wake up with a positive thought, Practice gratitude. Organize a pleasant moment during the day. Do one thing at a time.

Responding:
Today's world is filled with bankers who want to die rich, bureaucrats embarrassed by the success of their peers, filled with ghosts who no longer know how to read or write and who have erased from their vocabulary the words: thank you, please, gratitude and poetry. Make an effort not to contribute!

You are not alone, God bless you and all of your love ones.

REPLY

How are you doing? The past 2 years have been very difficult for so many with restrictions and isolation; I hope you have found renewed joy and adventures.

REPLY
@lindasmith1222

The last four mornings I have woken with deep depression. I am on buproprion. I moved to a different state 2 months ago. My 'honeymoon' is over. No friends or family. I pushed everyone from my home state away from me. I cannot get in to see a psychiatrist for 6 weeks. I wish it was all over.

Jump to this post

Hello @lindasmith1222, I so appreciate your honesty and the vulnerability you shared here on Connect. For a lot of us who have battled with depression we know that changing our outward circumstances, like a move to a different place or a new relationship, will not fix our depression. Depression is an inward disorder and has to be dealt with by exploring what causes our depression. Medications are also helpful during this process.

Your appointment with a psychiatrist should be a good first step. Have you ever been involved in a therapeutic relationship before?

REPLY
@hopeful33250

Hello @lindasmith1222, I so appreciate your honesty and the vulnerability you shared here on Connect. For a lot of us who have battled with depression we know that changing our outward circumstances, like a move to a different place or a new relationship, will not fix our depression. Depression is an inward disorder and has to be dealt with by exploring what causes our depression. Medications are also helpful during this process.

Your appointment with a psychiatrist should be a good first step. Have you ever been involved in a therapeutic relationship before?

Jump to this post

I had a referral and just need to connect with the therapist. Playing phone tag right now. I have PTSD, too, as this move to the southeast from the southwest was unexpected. We lost our home suddenly as had an electrical fire. I was diagnosed with the PTSD shortly after experiencing all the loss that a house fire brings. Having major depressive disorder since age 14, I wonder how someone avoids life or handles the kind of stress I am dealing with. I get so tired.

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.