1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Jan 9, 2022

THIS MAN BOUGHT A LIE DETECTOR FOR HIS SON
& WIFE. BUT WHAT FOLLOWED IS PRICELESS.
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people
who lie.
The man decided to try it out at dinner.
Dad: Son, where were you during school hours?
Son: At school.
The robot slaps the son.
Son: Ok! I was at my friend's house watching a
DVD.
Dad: Which one?
Son: Kung Fu Panda
The robot slaps the son again.
Son: Ok! It was an erotic movie.
Dad: What!? When I was your age I didn't even
know what an erotic movie was.
The robot slaps the dad.
Mom: HAHAHAHAHA. He is your son after all!
The robot slaps the mom.

REPLY
imallears | @imallears | Jan 9, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "EATING OUT -When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

EATING OUT
-When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and
John will each throw in $20, even though
it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually
admit they want change back.
-When the girls get their bill, out come the
pocket calculators.
MONEY
-A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs,
-A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that
she doesn't need, but is on sale.
BATHROOMS
-A man has six items in his bathroom:
toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shampoo,
soap and a towel.
-The average number of items in the
typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify more than
20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
-A woman has the last word in any
argument.
-Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
-A woman worries about the future until
she gets a husband.
-A man never worries about the future
until he gets a wife.
Jake

Jump to this post

@jakedduck1
Hello
This is no laughing matter and not aimed at you but too many gender jokes may indicate a sense of insecurity on the part of the person telling them and can create a toxic environment.
Believe it or not there have actually been studies done on this topic and some of these endless gender jokes can actually wind up being harmful , lead to harrassment and worse. They did a study many years ago concluding that the acceptance of sexist humor by men leads some men to believe that sexist behavior is within the bounds of social acceptability.
Women will tell gender jokes about men occasionally but men seem to tell more of them. You can understand why women generally will start to feel resentful.
I would expect this occurs more in person and I think a lot of the women here have run across that type of man in the past.
I grew up in the fifties and sixties and we women endured a lot of inappropriate behavior and comments and jokes.
This is in no way a reflection of you and I did not mean to put a damper on this topic. I don't want you to stop telling jokes because we all look forward to them and your jokes are not offensive. But men and women perceive humor differently and , from my experience, men really dont like to hear a male gender joke as it makes them uncomfortable .
Enough said.

FL Mary

REPLY
Mentor
Lori, Volunteer Mentor | @loribmt | Jan 9, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "EATING OUT -When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

EATING OUT
-When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and
John will each throw in $20, even though
it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually
admit they want change back.
-When the girls get their bill, out come the
pocket calculators.
MONEY
-A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs,
-A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that
she doesn't need, but is on sale.
BATHROOMS
-A man has six items in his bathroom:
toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shampoo,
soap and a towel.
-The average number of items in the
typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify more than
20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
-A woman has the last word in any
argument.
-Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
-A woman worries about the future until
she gets a husband.
-A man never worries about the future
until he gets a wife.
Jake

Jump to this post

A woman has the last word in any
argument.
Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument. Mike drop 🎤 boom.

REPLY
Doris Jeanne W. | @dorisjeanne | Jan 10, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "@loribmt Oops!! No sarcasm, seriously? Well, if that's the case, I guess I can expect my..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

@loribmt
Oops!! No sarcasm, seriously? Well, if that's the case, I guess I can expect my walking papers any day now. Oh well, more time to concentrate on the truly important things in life like eating candy, cookies, pies, cakes & pastries.
About time to get serious with a big piece of sweet potato pecan caramel pie with a big glass of chocolate milk.
Jake

Jump to this post

O man! Jake, I think I gained weight just now!!!

REPLY
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Jan 20, 2022

You know you’re old when you can add “great” or “grand” to your family title (example: great-aunt, grandfather).

You know you’re really old when you can add “great” AND “grand” to your family title.

You know you’re really REALLY old when the “great”s start to multiply. In fact, get enough “great”s, and you cross over from “relative” to “ancestor”.

Ring a bell @imallears

REPLY
2 replies
imallears | @imallears | Jan 20, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "You know you’re old when you can add “great” or “grand” to your family title (example:..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

You know you’re old when you can add “great” or “grand” to your family title (example: great-aunt, grandfather).

You know you’re really old when you can add “great” AND “grand” to your family title.

You know you’re really REALLY old when the “great”s start to multiply. In fact, get enough “great”s, and you cross over from “relative” to “ancestor”.

Ring a bell @imallears

Jump to this post

@jakedduck1

Can’t say that it does ring a bell old man but it’s cute. I’m only a grand, not yet a great and probably won’t be a great for quite a few years …I’ll let you know pops.

FL Mary

REPLY
Mentor
Sue, Volunteer Mentor | @sueinmn | Jan 20, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "You know you’re old when you can add “great” or “grand” to your family title (example:..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

You know you’re old when you can add “great” or “grand” to your family title (example: great-aunt, grandfather).

You know you’re really old when you can add “great” AND “grand” to your family title.

You know you’re really REALLY old when the “great”s start to multiply. In fact, get enough “great”s, and you cross over from “relative” to “ancestor”.

Ring a bell @imallears

Jump to this post

Oh Jake! Ahem! I have been a "great grand aunt" longer than...I have had fake hips or gray hair...and that's a long time! Some of us just have great big families....My aunt is younger than some of her nieces - at 95 my aunt has outlived a large number of them.

How bout some funny jokes about men?

REPLY
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Jan 20, 2022

@sueinmn
Men jokes are hard to find. Any ideas where to look.
Maybe most of the jokes are written by men???
I'm a great uncle and I hope that's where it stops.
Jake

REPLY
1 reply
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Jan 20, 2022

@imallears
Old is right!! I feel like I'm a hundred.
Pops

REPLY
Mentor
Sue, Volunteer Mentor | @sueinmn | Jan 20, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "@sueinmn Men jokes are hard to find. Any ideas where to look. Maybe most of the..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

@sueinmn
Men jokes are hard to find. Any ideas where to look.
Maybe most of the jokes are written by men???
I'm a great uncle and I hope that's where it stops.
Jake

Jump to this post

Or maybe people of the female persuasion have better sense than to "poke the hive"?

Here's a favorite in our family:
Why does it take a woman to find the thing a man is looking for - even when it's right where it belongs?
Only people who have (or had) a uterus have the magical power to find things.

My poor daughter lives in a houseful of males. Even the pets. She is destined to spend the rest of her life finding their stuff!

REPLY
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