What IS the point? Adult kids don't seem to care.

I realize that I have exacerbated the problems with one of my children by expressing anger instead of just listening. It is hard when the contact comes online as attack. I am working on letting it go altogether and seeing if silence and patience will lead to a resolution. Thank you to all of you who have responded with empathy and your suggestions for what has worked for you.

Many good suggestions. Right now, I'm trying to let go of the situation and hope that my husband and I and my children can come together and talk. At first it was so painful, I couldn't function. Gradually, I have focused on specific projects or people that will occupy my mind and stay away from negative thoughts. I agree with jeanadair123 that this has a lot to do with COVID, isolation, and social distancing. I'm wary of any place I go. I'm fully vaccinated, with a booster, and went through breakthrough COVID several months ago. Even had monoclonal antibodies. I have essentially become an introvert, which is different than I was before.

Ironically, when I was raising my children I thought if I has activities of my own, the period in my life when they left home. Instead, I've gotten the worst thing that ever happened to me - losing my children. I will turn 70 soon.

period of my life when they left home would be easier...

More than anything else, I always wanted to be a mother. I can say the estrangement from my eldest is the worst thing that has ever happened to me, too. Our grown children have no idea what we are talking about when we say that.

My husband and I are both vaccinated and boosted. My son does not believe in vaccination. So it makes seeing him all the more difficult. We've come to the point where we bring an N 95 mask along with us and ask him to wear it whenever we are with him. If it sounds like we see him, often, that is not the case. He calls only when he needs something. We see him, rarely, only when he needs us or for a brief period of time at Christmas, dropping off food. These contacts help me more than him.

We do what we do for our sake as much as his. If we never reached out to him, I don't think he would care....until he needs something. I have sent emails, texts, pix at times and, more often than not, he doesn't bother to respond to them. But whenever he is going through some emotional crisis (twice within the span of the last 4 years), guess where he knows his safest place to fall is? Good ol' Mom.

I understand how painful this is. It's hard to concentrate on the rest of your life with this hole in your heart. Having the contact you have may eventually result in peace. Having patience is also hard for me. We send Christmas presents, Got a thank you from one of the two who isn't talking to us.

My heart goes out to you and so do my prayers.

I am so sorry for your heartbreak . Prayers for you and all that are lonely and suffering.

I think that this is not unusual in this time period. I know of many parents of adult children suffering this behavior. Wish I had some advice besides prayers.
Sorry.

Adult children are living their lives. They don't seem to have time to meet with you. Try texting at the same time each day, maybe saying good night, maybe being chatty about what happened during your day. Only text once a day. Try not to be negative about anything that they have done or are doing. Try not to be negative about anything that is going on in your life. Eventually, they will come around and text back. I don't think they know they are hurting you.

I had an extremely bad experience with my younger son. He would not allow me to attend my granddaughter's wedding. He told me I was not welcome. Things were definitely strained at that point. After my husband died, we had to delay his burial because of Covid and also because I had to have a complete hip replacement. I had to go through all of this alone. My older son was not in a position to help me because he has a job in an Asian country and could not leave because of Covid. Finally we reached a place where I could bury my husband. He was a Korean Veteran and had told me he wanted to be buried in a military cemetery. I arranged for all of this along with a military honor guard. My son and his family did come to the funeral, but they didn't stay near me. A friend drove me and my husband's ashes to the cemetery. Finally after much pondering I sent my son an email about this entire situation and asked him bluntly if he wanted to have any kind of relationship with me. After a few days he replied that he did. We are now talking. Thank goodness for that. However he said angry words to me and once said they can never be unsaid. It remains to be seen how this will play out. I am not young (88 years old) but in pretty good condition. I am able to live independently and can drive. If things start to go downhill for me I will not ask him for help. I have always been able to take care of myself and will continue to do so.