Loneliness: Why am I depressed?

@kskill39 That was quite the move to make! Do you have access to a community center you can visit to join in common activities? From what I have heard, there are many different groups for all sorts of hobbies and pasttimes. In this time of the pandemic, fewer people are meeting face-to-face, so you may have to resort to Zoom type meetings. But being able to "meet" others will help you.

What are some of the things you enjoy doing, where meeting with others would enrich the experience? Book clubs? Gardening clubs? Crafty things? Working on cars or playing sports? Cooking ethnic foods? I'd be interested to hear!
Ginger

My problem is that the things I do require hands and with ET I can’t control my hands. I used to be an artist and a seamstress, neither of which I can do now. It’s very depressing.

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Hi there @kskill39 and @gingerw, What a great list of suggestions, Ginger. I am jumping in to share my move from California to Minnesota when I knew only one person. I had lived for 23 years in a small village of 4,000 people where I did know almost everyone so I was quite overwhelmed. I had owned a business there and got to meet lots of folks. Do you play any games? I knew how to play Mahjongg which doesn't require holding cards in your hands and found a group that I am still with today. I went to a Yoga class for seniors where I was introduced to a Mindfulness practice group and Meditation sangha. It took some time and now my life is enriched with new ideas and new personalities. It takes a little time and effort but I assure you there are folks out there you can enjoy and cherish.

May you be happy and content.
Chris

I agree that ET can make life difficult. It is hereditary in my family and mine is exacerbated by some of my meds. Some days it's tolerable, other days, really disruptive. I was taught by my Mom and Auntie to "just keep going" so I do.

I refuse to let it get the upper hand, though. I have a number of friends who also have ET or Parkinson's. Sometimes we have to adjust daily activities based on our tremors.

I am a lifelong seamstress who switched to doing mostly quilting some years ago. As a retiree I don't need couture quality garments anyways! I can no longer hand bind my quilts, which was a source of great satisfaction for me; now I do them by machine. When my tremors are bad, someone else cuts my fabric for me, or I design using precuts. I have guides on my machine to keep seams straight.

As for painting, which I did on fabric, now it's abstracts, sun dying, shibori folding...nothing that requires precision.

All of these I was encouraged to do by joining local sewing groups to do charity sewing. I met lovely new like minded people, and learned new skills. One switched to hooking rugs because her vision got bad. Another just ties our finished quilts....

Long story short, life is a long series of adjustments, many unexpected or unwanted. The ability to roll with them can be the difference between depression and acceptance.

Is there any possibility you can find a creative outlet in spite of ET?
Please let me know if you have any ideas for taking a first step.
Sue

I guess the dumbest thing I did was move to Fl where covid is rampant and I know no one. I should have stayed near my support group. Don’t have any help here.

Where are you? I too love to write. I’d cook but my kitchen is the pits. Bought this house sight unseen.

Some questions to ponder:
What type of community do you live in? Do you feel that, if Covid didn't exist, it would be a good fit for you? Why did you choose it?
If you cannot see any way to make a new, different life in Florida, is there any chance you can return to your old community? Perhaps you could then return to some favorite groups or activities. Or would your health and/or Covid make you feel isolated and sad there too?

I am asking these questions because I live half the year in South Texas and half the year in Minnesota. I often meet neighbors, people at church or in my sewing group, who made a permanent relocation; some are happy, others feel regret. While it is not always easy to do, some choose to return to their home area because the transition is too difficult. We have been fortunate to not have to make a choice - we can have both, at least for now. Who knows what may happen in future?

Also, if you are open to being checking out the sewing community, you can send me a private message telling me where you are and I can see if there is a group near you.

I wish you peace as you try to find your next step!
Sue

@kskill39 I just read the reply from @sueinmn. She has raised many points I was thinking of, also. Over the years as a crafty person, I have had to make concessions to hands that no longer can do the fine work I used to. So I "go bigger" or "less detailed" and still feed that creative side of me. You mention you love to write, and there surely are writing groups near you, wherever you are. They can be a marvelous way to make friends and feed your writing style.

If you have a faith community that you attend, there is probably someone who can help you adjust to a new location, within that group. Also, check with Senior Services in your town. As a whole, the state of Florida seems to take an interest in keeping seniors healthy, active, and doing well.
Ginger

I can understand. Do you volunteer? Belong to church? Call other shutins? Walk. Audio books.

I'm also a breast cancer survivor for the second time. First one, 27 years ago. Second time, diagnosed this past February. Stage 3, aggressive. Two chemo treatments and then had to have the mastectomy on my right breast, because I couldn't handle the treatment he gave me. Luckily, the cancer hadn't spread. He is 85-90% sure that the cancer won't come back. The first treatment gave me c-diff, or at least I'm assuming it did. I ended up with it just four days after the treatment. With the second treatment, I was getting lightheadedness and shortness of breath and started losing weight quite quickly. Also a tightness and constricted feeling at the base of my ribcage. I've been too the ER a total of 6 or 7 times because of these symptoms. Mostly because of the breathing issue. It would also be hard to take those deep breaths. I of my last trips to the ER, the attending doctor said I had neuropathy due to chemotherapy. I've been tested through a gastroenterologist and had two tests done through a thoracic surgeon. He said that he can't find anything that his field of expertise can help with. Recommended that I talk to my oncologist about my symptoms, which he already knows about. He told me that the neuropathy would go away and that was it. So at this point I'm on my own. I came across something last night through Facebook about dealing with neuropathy. Bob Diamond is the creator of The Protocol 525 for peripheral neuropathy. Basically it is supplements. And a little costly; for one month the price is $237.58 , 60 day; $449.80, and 90 day; $626.25 So I'm going to call the oncology nurse to see if I can get in to see my oncologist soon, because as it stands today, my next appointment with him is in early January. Hopefully after he sees the report from the thoracic surgeon, he'll want to see me asap. But, I'm not being too hopeful about what he can suggest or even advice. I pretty much think that the chemotherapy did this to me also. Too much has been ruled out. Thanks for listening. It helps to get it down in writing.