When things just don't get better

@lacy2
Oh my goodness my dear, it sounds like a very unstable situation there. I hope you have a backup resource or two? I mean is there any way for you to receive some help in a pinch? I certainly hope so, especially if there are times when neither of you has a way to be the caregiver of the moment. My wife and I are without any backup per se, all our family is over a thousand miles away and nobody nearby, just casual friends. Fortunately I am in solid health (knock on wood) but it's always in the back of my mind "what if...". We would have to lean heavily on faith in a pinch (I think of the quote about "consider the lilies of the field"..."birds of the air" etc), which takes me all the way back to the year after we were married and the unsteady situation we were in financially and how we were looked after from above back then. My heart goes out to you both, and I hope your husband can rally from his convalescence to become the rock for you both again. But I also know just how much healing is required to come back from open heart surgery, that takes so much out of one. Can be a long road back. Is he making good progress? Best, Hank

@jesfactsmom and friends... a thousand miles away? Australia? It's difficult when we are not ill enough to require support services yet not well enough to need help occasionally. I have 2 daughters close by but they have parters, home to look after and work from home in IT... its surprising how many hours many people who work in this field spend on computer, phone etc., and three hour meetings across the globe... so we call on them when only absolutely necessary. I pay someone to pickup online grocery orders etc. He has a male or female nurse every morning to change dressing on leg wound from surgery - I have never seen a wound like this, was expecting a neat scar but far from it... and it "leaks" etc. takes about 45 minutes to remove dressing, clean, and put new one on..... yet the incisions on his chest healed up quickly. Its something to do with new veins not grown yet.... thankfully no infection.... all this is new to us. Its odd as I had a"better" day yesterday compared to most but in evening had a flareup and went to bed at 6.30 and of course the physical led to the emotional, and my looking for sympathy or solution from someone who has their own medical issues. I am really down today, anniversary of my Mum passing - I had not seen her for many years, she was in UK, and also my only brother's birthday, he passed 2017 in UK. Am not looking for sympathy but just saying.... I see nephrologist tomorrow just for test results, only seen her once before.. but am hoping I can ask her about a couple of other issues if she has time...during Covid i am lucky to see a Dr.in person. I am waiting six months for ENT.... appointment end of March but it will be over phone... Dr.tomorrow sees 5 patients a morning and they clean between each one; should be OK as I had tooth out Dec.27 and dentist couldnt get much closer! Well, enough moaning from me but you are right... things are at an emotional high here (with other issues too) so not sure how it will go. I have a social worker zoom me once a month but its very basic... really, who can help? We have to get through this somehow on our own.. as you did with your wife... but as they say "it aint easy" Thanks

The heading of this thread (or whatever they are called) caught my eye as due to the condition of things on innumerable levels the world over improvement does does seem bleak. No positive words for now, but can understand the questioning of improvement. "Gang aft de glay" sums things up.

.....I must admit to looking up this phrase/wording as never seen it before,.and after reading several interpretations on Internet, thought the following sums it up, at least for me. Hope you don't mind my adding .....
although "crash and burn" seems a bit strong interpretation, it does seem close to some of my personal experiences, a bit more so than "the well laid plans of mice and men"?

Internet:
Gang aft aglay
The quote comes from the poem, "To a Mouse", by Robert Burns. He has been lionised as 'Scotlands National Poet', so I would assume that the language is Scottish. As to the meaning, you are indeed correct. It does mean to go astray, but I would suggest that to go astray would be a rather weak translation. Perhaps to crash and burn is closer to the spirit of the poem

@sundance6 Good morning! Read your post about resetting and wondered what that looks like. Would appreciate some suggestions as I too am down in the dumps. Thanks

Ahh..the Winter doldrums on top of everything else! I am trying to look at photographer friends posts of nature. Find a topic you like and start searching. Beautiful scenery is calming..and pet antics make you laugh. Do what you can with your docs to make sure you have the right meds for comfort and try to relax.
Buy a tulip daffodil or seedlings and watch them grow. Think good thoughts...ask for God's help. It will be Spring soon!

@hearttoheart1, how are you doing today? What specific thing will you do today to be kind to yourself?

marjou, Just finishing reading the Mayo Clinic's new book on Fibromyagia! Talks about reseting! It says puts changes in your day! Gave example of the 20/20/20 rule of spliting up your day. The book from the Mayo Clinic called, "Guide to Fibromyalgia"! Has a lot of basic things we should all do to help ourselves. We know we have New Years Resolutions! This goes deeper into changing how we live our life!
I can see how this last 10 months have made my symptoms of either Lyme Disease/Fibromyalgia worse!
I know we are supposed to stay in and unexposed! But using a little comon sense means getting back to how we were 10 months ago!
I don't want to get into that discussion! I just know how I've shut down and made my symptoms worse!
I have gone through 75 years of learning Optimism! My dad through everything he went through was the eternal Optimist!
So I've spent the last two weeks trying to find answers as to what I need to change. I skept my Silver Sneakers classes, hardly went out of my house.
As several doctors have said we need to use comon sense! Are we one of the people with one of the four underlying conditions? If so remane quarintined. If not get out, but use comon sense! There are pleny of tests sites around, get tested every week if you have been around others. Just because you test negative one week dosen't mean you are negative the next week. If getting the vacine will make you feel comfortable do it! As one medical person said, if you get both vacines then carry on with your life!
I know this week will be Stressful for all of us in the US!
We need to carry on our Life and look for enjoyment, happiness, and gratitude for others.
From The Land of Enchantment!
Sundance(RB)

Here's a link to the book that @sundance6 refers to
- "Mayo Clinic Guide to Fibromyalgia: Strategies to Take Back Your Life" https://marketplace.mayoclinic.com/shop/diseases-and-conditions/book/mayo-clinic-guide-to-fibromyalgia_296700

It is written by Andy Abril, M.D., a Mayo Clinic rheumatologist, and Barbara Bruce, Ph.D., a Mayo Clinic psychologist, aims to dispel myths about fibromyalgia and offer practical strategies for patients to manage it successfully. Drawing on decades of Mayo Clinic research and clinical expertise, the book is a resource to help people with fibromyalgia find solutions that lead to better health. Drs. Abril and Bruce are based at Mayo Clinic in Florida.

Colleen, Thanks as always for your help! Down to about the last 40 pages! It not only helps with Fibromyalgia but also how to handle our lives right now! It offers you a way to Reset now with everything that is going on in the world!
Bless You!
Sundance(RB)