When things just don't get better

Posted by daphne47 @daphne47, Dec 30, 2020

I have depression and anxiety that stem from ptsd, abuse/neglect. I've fought my entire life for my sanity, making good steps with my mental health. Then boom, chronic illness. Fought this too. But I haven't had much relief or answers for 15 years. I'm burnt out pretty good right now and really hopeless. Not sure if my situation can change. Just feel I'm losing myself. I take medication and see a great therapist. This is not just a one time low...just tired of fighting for nothing. Can anyone relate? I'm not trying to get anyone down, everyone's situation is different, I guess I just want to express myself cause I don't have a lot of people to say this to. I understand accepting things, but it just seems like my life is stuck, whatever I do. I'm not afraid to live with disabilities, but, physically, my body is kicking my own arse. Feeling alone, defeated, and defective.

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@kimcvi

I feel for each one of you who are getting the wrong meds. 😔😔 I believe that we all know our bodies and the side effects that certain medications do, Stay Strong💪🏻💪🏻 Everyone and don’t give up. There is someone out there who will listen.!!
Virtual HUGS and Love to All💕🥰💕

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@kimcvi .... Nice post and you are so right, but it always comes back, in the end, to my blaming myself for not speaking up to the doctors at the time.. but then labelled a "problem patient" and in our town word spreads, and I haven't had a family doctor for 18 months. thank goodness for walkin clinics. It would be OK if I could still travel out of town but with bowel issues no longer possible. Those who have access to teaching hospitals or clinics like Mayor are fortunate. J. e.g. If I wanted to see the other one of our two EnT's , as mine is not urgent, a two year wait: can you believe it? Its not the same in Canada if you can travel or live in larger Cites though.

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Don’t blame yourself for uncaring doctors. They do not know your inside turmoil. I write everything down weeks before my appts and I make a copy for the doctor so when I see them we go through the list together. Easier said then done I know, it took me many years to get the courage up to give the dr.the list but with a rare disease that is not common here in the United States I had to get the courage and do this. I even had to put all my symptoms on paper and request that my PCP put them in my chart. That was really tough. Keep going and one day that special doctor will be there if not your PCP ( as mine isn’t there for me) there might be a specialist that will.

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@lacy2

@jimhd and all: not quite sure where this fits it but again its about Cymbalta but could be any number of medications. There are different types of Glaucoma.... I was diagnosed with "narrow angles" mid 2018 and I do believe I had the condition for a long time before receiving the diagnosis from Head of Glaucoma Dept. in a Toronto Hospital (a four hour drive away).
In fact some meds "cause" Glaucoma! It's true. There are wide angles type also and I believe another type. Anyway mayoclinic.org and other sites have the pros and cons about taking Cymbalta which is also called Duloxetine or Irenka. All we can do is read the information sheets with the medication, or Internet good sites and decide whether or not we wish to take it.

I was a e mental case from that time on and gave up Zoloft as it causes raise in eye pressure.... but stupid enough not to give up Clonazepam as it was not mentioned! I DO blame the doctors. I am a nobody... the doctors prescribing or continuing to prescribe meds should take a few minutes to check or ask patient, and I also DO blame my pharmacist.

Then after one interview witha very pleasant training Psychiatrist he took m off the Clonazepam I had been on over 15 years, after the last 5 tablets as government trying to stops these meds for Seniors and PUT ME BACK ON the Zoloft which I kept trying to politely say would increase my eye pressure and as I said before and the dr said: I have checked and only 5 per cent of Zoloft patients can get Glaucoma (want to be one of those five per cent?) but I ALREADY had Glaucoma and the specialist had said if my eye pressure went up I could lose vision forever and if I then had the worst headache EVER and eye pain to jump in a car and drive to Toronto... how scary was that? . During this time family dr. prescribed Cymbalta and I didnt take it. I lived with that the rest of 2019 and until I had some surgery March 2020 (laser holes in eyes) and I STILL cannot take some meds. if raise eye pressure tc. (even Visine for red eyes)

Have Glaucoma is for life and I again thank the Lord I have my vision, use strong drops every night which have side effects, and dry eye drops, and have floaters from previous vitriol surgery. On top of everything else and people wonder why I am either depressed or very sorry for myself! I do NOT want to scare anyone from taking their meds, but I will go out on a limb and say:
please, please, please have your optometrist check your eye pressure - its simple and painless - and also have a field of vision test done - again simple. Then if you go on a medication which can raise eye pressure, you just see your optometrist again to check the eye pressure!
I just cannot sit back after all this and not at least suggest these two tests, whether or not someone then continue the medication is completely up to them and many times lest fact it, we have no choice! And my last "please": please tell any new doctors, surgeons, dentists, optometrists, clinics, naturopaths etc. that you actually have Glaucoma (if you have it) and what type it is.
sorry if am repeating previous comments but feel so strongly about this... J.

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@lacy2 My ophthalmologist does check the pressure in my eyes and so far it's normal. I see from your experience that it's a good thing to have checked.

Jim

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@bustrbrwn22

@kimcvi Hi Kim I can relate. After 10 years or so my psychiatrist diagnosed me with refractory depression and anxiety - no medications help or any other types of counseling etc. I also was recently diagnosed with PTSD. Every day is a challenge just to get out of bed and complete basic hygiene functions.

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Can so relate!!

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....recently back reading and posting a bit more and i now realize i was in too many chat rooms and didnt keep up,,,,sorry..... i try now not to comment too much on too many issues but its typical of me to want to add my 2 cents. I am still in a similar position ups and downs and i would like to go back to rooms i comments on, is there a list of sites we have made comments on please? So i can tie up loose ends type thing.. i would not wasnt to have acknowledged someone who asked me a question etc..... hi to all who i chatted with a year ago or so! J.

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I just want to say that I have seen bad side effects from Abilify. Yes, this is only my observation. Two relatives of mine had dyskinesia (sp?) after taking that medication. One has never recovered. His life has been changed drastically and I feel for how it affects his social life. The other relative was at first diagnosed with Parkinson's, but her symptoms went away after Abilify was discontinued.
I understand that psychiatrists want most of all to help their patients feel better. However, the side effects of this medication seem pretty bad. I would be very very cautious about this drug.

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Dear Daphne47,
It all comes down to us, doesn’t it? We all have to do the work. It took me decades to accept I had depression and start taking something for it. But, eventually, that’s not enough. May I suggest to you with your situation to try:
1. Meditation. There are hundreds of good apps out there that will guide you. 2. Ketamine treatments. Has it ever been suggested to you? They’ve done wonders for me. To go from not wanting to get out of bed to looking forward to doing something, anything, is a great feeling. 3. Diet. Look closely at your hidden sugars and don’t indulge. Eat clean, eat pure, eat healthy. Your body, with its aches and pains, will thank you in more ways than one. Reach out. Yours lovingly, Sadita

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