OCD and Major Depression

I think it's my Seraquel and I'm going to look into a neurologist to work with my shrink! Pray that works. Maria.

I'm not sure how I would be diagnosed if had someone to listen to my story. I've always tried to be strong in this life. I had to my mom and sisters needed that. Every man that came into our lives did wrong by us. At least that's what I seen. I was 3 when my dad vanished from my life and i can remember dropping him off at the pig slaughterhouse in LA and foggy memory til I was 6 and living in azusa Ca acrossbfrom the brown bag plant well my mom left and had our pit bulls watching us 3 girls well the water man came up to the door . Our dogs remember him touting them in previous days so when he turned to walk away his pole struck our dogs head and our dog attacked him and let go he ran to his truck and grabbed mass and ran back to spray our dogs so they both attacked him and was chewing his leg well by that time the police showed up and got out of there cars and shot my dogs in the head. And I blacked out after seeing that woke up with a fever and i was delousoninal I'll i can see is fire around me and I'm tripping out my grandma had a stroke they rushed her to the hospital they took me to the hospital and I was put in a bed of ice. And I wasn't aloud to talk about what I saw. So I blocked it out. Then i was 8 years old in School had a bad stomach ache and nurse sent me home told me my step dad was home to go ahead and walk home. Well I started off to walk home not knowing what to do because the man at was molesting me for about 2months sby now. So i walked around the neighborhood til i thought it was safe. To head home i didn't wait long enough he was home. And got touched by him for what reason idk . He said he would kill my mom if I told on him. So I kept it to myself witnessing my mom give him oral pleasure I was in disbelief of what I saw. I waited until he was going on a fishing trip for the weekend and my sis the neighbor girl and I told my mom the second he walked out the door she was asleep on the couch down stairs. I'll never forget... and by the age of 10 I'd been in foster care and visitations with me mom and I even tried to hide in the back floorboard of her car so I could leave with my mom. I didn't care I wanted my mom only. Cant remember much until I was 15 years old and I was eating zoloft to sleep away my problems and I left to the er to have my stomach pumped .....then I remember. Being 16 driving a friend of a friends car and finding a dog and I picked him up and told my mom I wanted to keep him scruffyluffaguse was his name and my mom kicked me out cause I wouldn't let the dog go. So I left and drove the car to the owner and he was mad about his car and started choking me and i blacked out and when i woke up i ran out of the house and the dog was right there with me so it's about 1130 PM in Baldwin park ,Ca . I had none or nowhere to go walking around .... Then a guy stops in the street . Telling me shouldn't be out hear all Lone in this town at night. And kept telling me he will get me a room and pay for it and he wouldn't stay he will give me my key and he would go . He just wanted to help me out ... I agreed and to my nolage I made a good call with guys he did just as he said . I'm so naive....I got a rm and a key and beer and a date rape pill I passed out groggy and could feel him on me and he was biting my neck and sucking super hard I could feel every little thing . Down to the blood being sucked to the surface of my skin. That was the most pain I could focus on I was going in and out of concussness. Thank God that I lived to remember that night ... because these days they would just kill you. The next morning I felt so messed up in the head I hated everything around me I hated everything about my self. Felt like I couldn't even keep myself safe . I start to turn to people that hated blacks I was violated by a man of color. I went on to do bad things living in this world of hate and anger. I self destructed in every way possible . I robbed I fought I threatened lives to me I had no other choices And did a spiral out of control .... in the mix of all this i was robbed at gun point hog tied and guns pointed to my head threats of death if I didn't give up names ... I kept my mouth shut and dealt with it all until they left ... I was a hot mess turned out I was part of my boyfriends issues he was having .... I found a guy that was a big time in town and wanted me . We meet at a dealers house and I fell hard then a ex bf found out showed up to the house I was hanging at and took out a big knife and started stabbing my boyfriend in the chest 9 times and ran off we called 911 they got him th o the hospital and he lived through that .

Hi Maria! Just a word: I found a NeuroPsychiatrist many years ago who correctly diagnosed my Bipolar II and OCD. The best thing I ever did!!! They can look at your brain AND mind issues. The med she recommended (Lithiobid/Lithium) is exactly what I needed and I've been taking for 33 years! Maybe you can find this kind of doctor - in any case, DON'T GIVE UP!! Praying for you. Sharon

Is a NeuroPsychiatrist the same as a neurologist? I'm confused! Maria.

A NeuroPsychiatrist specializes in Neurology and Psychiatry so he/she can look at both areas. Personally I think that is better than going to either one or the other. Hope this helps. God Bless.

@tlovesherdad2020 You have gone through horrific traumatic experiences repeatedly. Like @amandajro, I too would like to ask if you have received mental health services and/or are currently?

I'm also wondering where you are at now? What is your current living situation and who do you have for supports?

@tlovesherdad2020 You have gone through horrific traumatic experiences repeatedly. Like @amandajro, I too would like to ask if you have received mental health services and/or are currently?

I'm also wondering where you are at now? What is your current living situation and who do you have for supports?

Is a NeuroPsychiatrist the same as a neurologist? I'm confused! Maria.

I am a good baker but have no desire to make cookies this year. Maybe pies or something. My siblings may get together on December 19TH. depending on Covid. I get invited once a year. It's so fakey! I have found a lady thru a Church who will meet with me once per week. It's called Stephen ministry for people who are suffering. One hour is better than nothing. Thanks.

Maria, please don't give up. Things can turn around of which you are even unaware! I would suggest at this point that you take care of yourself. Believe me, I know how extremely hard it is to seek help when you are so depressed. But keep trying. If the doctor you saw was of no help, seek another. Or better still, call a mental health service who can work with you, maybe even on-line. If you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself, call 911 for assistance. But, PLEASE don't give up. I am my husband's fourth wife and he has been verbally abusive at times but he has changed and grown over our 30-year marriage and I also had bunion surgery. Only to tell you that things can change, God loves you and there are several of us praying for you!