Hope you are feeling better today Sundance... that was a long drive and probably lots of emotion with your grandson/family and change in temperature, sleep changes.. probably did set off an episode of your illnesses .... they say even happy events can be stressful..... must have been hard having to say goodbye but maybe when he is older he will come and visit you....now you are home and back in your routine hopefully it will settle things down... I know what its like to have family at a distance, with them in UK and me in Canada: what was I thinking? Haven't looked up "self leadership yet" ... I agree, I thought growing older just meant grey hair and wrinkles... thats cos I aged with no parents here - I only had letters and phone calls and wasn't part of their painful ageing/deaths. and I think thats why my daughters dont "get" what I am going through, as they didn't grow up with grandparents.. sorry, getting a bit complicated here, but when they haven't been around or cared for older/ill relatives, they don't understand and why would they? I don't understand it myself!!! I never cared for my parents when ill being 3000 miles away ... maybe if I had seen how they coped, I might be coping better.. .... will never know will I? Very interested in looking up that self leadership later on...
does it help with sleep?
@lacy2 It sounds like you aren't receiving proper physical or mental health care but you do not think proper care would improve your life. Did I get that right? It must be difficult to feel that your circumstances will not improve.
I do need to ask if you feel that you can keep yourself safe? Do you have someone you can turn to if you felt unsafe? Do you think your daughters could help if these feelings arise?
It is a loss when we are no longer able to do what we once did. Your peers are here to support you and they have real experience that are similar to what you are going through.
I'd like to ask the group what sorts of things have helped them in moments such as these?
@lacy2 It sounds like you aren't receiving proper physical or mental health care but you do not think proper care would improve your life. Did I get that right? It must be difficult to feel that your circumstances will not improve.
I do need to ask if you feel that you can keep yourself safe? Do you have someone you can turn to if you felt unsafe? Do you think your daughters could help if these feelings arise?
It is a loss when we are no longer able to do what we once did. Your peers are here to support you and they have real experience that are similar to what you are going through.
I'd like to ask the group what sorts of things have helped them in moments such as these?
...thank you Erika....appreciate your concern but it's under control... daughters and spouse are not happy with my decisions but I just want them to know what they are. Not trying to be nonchalant about it, but I am more afraid of suffering than I am about dying. I have in the past "bounced back" well almost bounced..but since the fear when I went thru glaucoma diagnosis and warnings of losing sight if I took meds that raised eye pressure, and then the six months of c.diff - I feel the infection and/or meds were the icing on the cake for me and as have said here (sorry I get rooms here mixed up) suddenly couldn't get out of bed, so weak and spent 90 per cent of 2019 and 2020 in my bedroom. I do not have anything more serious than depression and anxiety and list of illnesses .. it was something I had never ever done.. also have few friends and they died 2018...unbelievable.... so my spouse brought me toast and coffee in bed for almost 2 years whereas I had never had that in previous 38 years...I would shower, do laundry and back to bedroom, not in bed but "on" bed and didnt go out hardly at all: it was only when last November he was whisked off by helicopter to hospital for heart surgery I had to start getting up and looking after house again: its been a horror story and now back on my feet a bit my illnesses are now more painful and Ihave developed a fear of new meds due to many past reactions.
I feel am either better than I think I am, or a lot worse than I think I am!!! My husband says: take it day by day I reply can I take it hour by hour? So many worse off than me so will close.... thing is, I want to be able to make a choice for myself before I am unable to do so and have others decide my future: having bowel issues plus fecal incontinence no one will be look after me should I find myself unable to look after myself..who will clean up this mess sometimes five times a day etc and laundry and showers etc. ....if I sound ungrateful, I don't mean to be... the person I knew as "me" got lost somewhere along the line. Yes I can joke around sometimes and say something funny, but its usually written and not that often....but I am good at throwing pity parties for myself as you can see.
You are very kind and this web site is truly amazing in its care about others....thank you, again. J.
...thank you Erika....appreciate your concern but it's under control... daughters and spouse are not happy with my decisions but I just want them to know what they are. Not trying to be nonchalant about it, but I am more afraid of suffering than I am about dying. I have in the past "bounced back" well almost bounced..but since the fear when I went thru glaucoma diagnosis and warnings of losing sight if I took meds that raised eye pressure, and then the six months of c.diff - I feel the infection and/or meds were the icing on the cake for me and as have said here (sorry I get rooms here mixed up) suddenly couldn't get out of bed, so weak and spent 90 per cent of 2019 and 2020 in my bedroom. I do not have anything more serious than depression and anxiety and list of illnesses .. it was something I had never ever done.. also have few friends and they died 2018...unbelievable.... so my spouse brought me toast and coffee in bed for almost 2 years whereas I had never had that in previous 38 years...I would shower, do laundry and back to bedroom, not in bed but "on" bed and didnt go out hardly at all: it was only when last November he was whisked off by helicopter to hospital for heart surgery I had to start getting up and looking after house again: its been a horror story and now back on my feet a bit my illnesses are now more painful and Ihave developed a fear of new meds due to many past reactions.
I feel am either better than I think I am, or a lot worse than I think I am!!! My husband says: take it day by day I reply can I take it hour by hour? So many worse off than me so will close.... thing is, I want to be able to make a choice for myself before I am unable to do so and have others decide my future: having bowel issues plus fecal incontinence no one will be look after me should I find myself unable to look after myself..who will clean up this mess sometimes five times a day etc and laundry and showers etc. ....if I sound ungrateful, I don't mean to be... the person I knew as "me" got lost somewhere along the line. Yes I can joke around sometimes and say something funny, but its usually written and not that often....but I am good at throwing pity parties for myself as you can see.
You are very kind and this web site is truly amazing in its care about others....thank you, again. J.
I explained to a Good Friend today what a Help Connect is to everyone! As I said yesterday I came down with another Episode of Lyme and have felt Bad the last two days.
But came up in my office and started checking my email that connect is on, and I felt instantly better for a few moments!
My feeling about everyone on Connect is, "Not all Angels have Wings!"
Thanks Everyone!
Sundance(RB)
@lacy2 It sounds like you aren't receiving proper physical or mental health care but you do not think proper care would improve your life. Did I get that right? It must be difficult to feel that your circumstances will not improve.
I do need to ask if you feel that you can keep yourself safe? Do you have someone you can turn to if you felt unsafe? Do you think your daughters could help if these feelings arise?
It is a loss when we are no longer able to do what we once did. Your peers are here to support you and they have real experience that are similar to what you are going through.
I'd like to ask the group what sorts of things have helped them in moments such as these?
@erikas Our minds are a powerful thing, and can lead us down so many different paths.
For me, it takes concentrated effort to focus on what is going well, when battling the inner demon of depression. Some of that depression is the result of lessening physical abilities and health issues. I am a rebel from way back, and cannot simply accept things as they present themselves to me. So I fight, and it seems like a never-ending circle/cycle.
You asked what sort of things have helped in moments like these. @lacy2 It seems like the world is closing in. But there is always something, that I want to see to fruition. A project already started, like a yard thing or a crafty one. I dig out a book that I have read in the past, and read again, looking for something new in it. For me, that book is "Temple of My Familiar" by Alice Waters, the same lady who wrote "The Color Purple", and it has been read four or five times in the last 20+ years. I desperately want to start a garden of flowers here, where the soil is bad. But I want to see the whole cycle, all season, even though I have no green thumb. I want to see the fawns as spring comes around, and the mama deer bring their young ones by to introduce them. I don't aim for long-term, just something to grasp onto now. Each day is a new beginning, and I want to see what is around the corner.
Ginger
Anyone purchased a bed that raises the head? I can't sleep!! I am like a zombie. I am tired all the time. I have many problems but no sleep is definitely not helping! I watch TV in the evening. I go to bed. Then I am awake! So, I turn on TV in bedroom. I like the Golden Girls and they are on until one am, still can't sleep. Watch Frazier. May go to sleep three or four o' clock. Dry mouth. Have to pee about ten times a night. No sleep. Go to sleep. Up in half hour to go to bathroom. I actually went to sleep on the commode and went flying into the side of the tub at great speed and hit top of my head--neck hurt for weeks and weeks. Four days later, had x-ray. Had a fractured continuous process on C-4 in neck. Very painful! Purchased online a commode chair for bedroom at price of $310. Shower/commode chair on wheels. Arrived by UPS. Shipping charges. Purchased belt to go around me on chair. When it arrived, husband unpacked, very large, made for jolly green giant! If I used it, I would have to scoot way back to even line up with pot. Had to send it all back. The belt was so hard to open, I would have been stuck on it until husband woke up. He's a good sleeper. I have sleep apnea, can't wear machine--can't breathe thru nose. So, I'm back to square one. Have a terribly dry mouth, also. Tried Biotene until I read it contains parabens. I read a long time ago and wrote it down in a journal that it is cancer causing. So, even though it worked, I don't want to use something that causes cancer. If anyone read this all the way through, thank you. God bless you all. We thank Him for all he has done and all he is going to do.
I have severe dry mouth also. I use to use Biotene as well. My sleep doc suggested I try Xylimelts and they work wonderfully! I buy them on Amazon in bulk (100 per bottle). Nothing more miserable than waking up several times a night with completely dry mouth.
Lavender and rose in a fuser helps to sleep more relaxed and my daughter gave me some dr livingood sleep aid he has one for sleep and calm. Dr berg also has sleep aid… these are herbal. I’m open to anything herbal. These helped me some, maybe would help y’all. I go two days n nights can’t sleep and not tired till about day three….. if anybody finds something that helps I’m ready! I have been told to take a Benadryl… my next one yo try. 😊hoping we all get help sleeping because that is when your body heals… surgeon told me.
I have severe dry mouth also. I use to use Biotene as well. My sleep doc suggested I try Xylimelts and they work wonderfully! I buy them on Amazon in bulk (100 per bottle). Nothing more miserable than waking up several times a night with completely dry mouth.
@soledad02, and all...I have a friend who found the Xylimelts and is completely sold on them for her dry mouth. She goes to sleep with one at night and uses another as needed. She says they are the only thing that helps her. I solved my issues by changing meds. Have very little dry mouth now.
Yours supports her comments totally. Wonderful.
Be well, Be blessed. elizabeth
I have severe dry mouth also. I use to use Biotene as well. My sleep doc suggested I try Xylimelts and they work wonderfully! I buy them on Amazon in bulk (100 per bottle). Nothing more miserable than waking up several times a night with completely dry mouth.
I have severe dry mouth also. I use to use Biotene as well. My sleep doc suggested I try Xylimelts and they work wonderfully! I buy them on Amazon in bulk (100 per bottle). Nothing more miserable than waking up several times a night with completely dry mouth.
I was introduced to xylamelts by my dentist and although they do not completely stop dry mouth during the night they help tremendously. I highly recommend their use as needed.
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@lacy2 It sounds like you aren't receiving proper physical or mental health care but you do not think proper care would improve your life. Did I get that right? It must be difficult to feel that your circumstances will not improve.
I do need to ask if you feel that you can keep yourself safe? Do you have someone you can turn to if you felt unsafe? Do you think your daughters could help if these feelings arise?
It is a loss when we are no longer able to do what we once did. Your peers are here to support you and they have real experience that are similar to what you are going through.
I'd like to ask the group what sorts of things have helped them in moments such as these?
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 Reactions...thank you Erika....appreciate your concern but it's under control... daughters and spouse are not happy with my decisions but I just want them to know what they are. Not trying to be nonchalant about it, but I am more afraid of suffering than I am about dying. I have in the past "bounced back" well almost bounced..but since the fear when I went thru glaucoma diagnosis and warnings of losing sight if I took meds that raised eye pressure, and then the six months of c.diff - I feel the infection and/or meds were the icing on the cake for me and as have said here (sorry I get rooms here mixed up) suddenly couldn't get out of bed, so weak and spent 90 per cent of 2019 and 2020 in my bedroom. I do not have anything more serious than depression and anxiety and list of illnesses .. it was something I had never ever done.. also have few friends and they died 2018...unbelievable.... so my spouse brought me toast and coffee in bed for almost 2 years whereas I had never had that in previous 38 years...I would shower, do laundry and back to bedroom, not in bed but "on" bed and didnt go out hardly at all: it was only when last November he was whisked off by helicopter to hospital for heart surgery I had to start getting up and looking after house again: its been a horror story and now back on my feet a bit my illnesses are now more painful and Ihave developed a fear of new meds due to many past reactions.
I feel am either better than I think I am, or a lot worse than I think I am!!! My husband says: take it day by day I reply can I take it hour by hour? So many worse off than me so will close.... thing is, I want to be able to make a choice for myself before I am unable to do so and have others decide my future: having bowel issues plus fecal incontinence no one will be look after me should I find myself unable to look after myself..who will clean up this mess sometimes five times a day etc and laundry and showers etc. ....if I sound ungrateful, I don't mean to be... the person I knew as "me" got lost somewhere along the line. Yes I can joke around sometimes and say something funny, but its usually written and not that often....but I am good at throwing pity parties for myself as you can see.
You are very kind and this web site is truly amazing in its care about others....thank you, again. J.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsI explained to a Good Friend today what a Help Connect is to everyone! As I said yesterday I came down with another Episode of Lyme and have felt Bad the last two days.
But came up in my office and started checking my email that connect is on, and I felt instantly better for a few moments!
My feeling about everyone on Connect is, "Not all Angels have Wings!"
Thanks Everyone!
Sundance(RB)
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 Reactions@erikas Our minds are a powerful thing, and can lead us down so many different paths.
For me, it takes concentrated effort to focus on what is going well, when battling the inner demon of depression. Some of that depression is the result of lessening physical abilities and health issues. I am a rebel from way back, and cannot simply accept things as they present themselves to me. So I fight, and it seems like a never-ending circle/cycle.
You asked what sort of things have helped in moments like these. @lacy2 It seems like the world is closing in. But there is always something, that I want to see to fruition. A project already started, like a yard thing or a crafty one. I dig out a book that I have read in the past, and read again, looking for something new in it. For me, that book is "Temple of My Familiar" by Alice Waters, the same lady who wrote "The Color Purple", and it has been read four or five times in the last 20+ years. I desperately want to start a garden of flowers here, where the soil is bad. But I want to see the whole cycle, all season, even though I have no green thumb. I want to see the fawns as spring comes around, and the mama deer bring their young ones by to introduce them. I don't aim for long-term, just something to grasp onto now. Each day is a new beginning, and I want to see what is around the corner.
Ginger
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsI have severe dry mouth also. I use to use Biotene as well. My sleep doc suggested I try Xylimelts and they work wonderfully! I buy them on Amazon in bulk (100 per bottle). Nothing more miserable than waking up several times a night with completely dry mouth.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionLavender and rose in a fuser helps to sleep more relaxed and my daughter gave me some dr livingood sleep aid he has one for sleep and calm. Dr berg also has sleep aid… these are herbal. I’m open to anything herbal. These helped me some, maybe would help y’all. I go two days n nights can’t sleep and not tired till about day three….. if anybody finds something that helps I’m ready! I have been told to take a Benadryl… my next one yo try. 😊hoping we all get help sleeping because that is when your body heals… surgeon told me.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 Reactions@soledad02, and all...I have a friend who found the Xylimelts and is completely sold on them for her dry mouth. She goes to sleep with one at night and uses another as needed. She says they are the only thing that helps her. I solved my issues by changing meds. Have very little dry mouth now.
Yours supports her comments totally. Wonderful.
Be well, Be blessed. elizabeth
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Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionNaldo keep a glass of cold water in my bedroom and take a sip every time I get up.
I meant I also, not Naldo
I was introduced to xylamelts by my dentist and although they do not completely stop dry mouth during the night they help tremendously. I highly recommend their use as needed.