Incredibly lonely, shutting down: Suffering with Anhedonia

@januaryjane,
I'm Gail and I'm a Volunteer Mentor with Mayo Connect. Please don't give up! There are many here who will reach out to you. First, please let me know that you won't do anything to harm yourself. Please commit that you won't do that.

- Can you tell me more about your situation?
- You say you're lonely; do you have family or friends to whom you can talk? If not,
we're here for listening and communicating.
- What are you experiencing in your body that are problems?
- Have you seen physicians about treating your problems?
- Are you taking medications, and if so, what are you taking?
- What made you reach out to Mayo Connect?

I'm not a medical professional, but through my experience, and that of others on Mayo Connect, we may be able to help you find what you need. We have had many experiences and may have even been where you are now in the past.

Thank you for reaching out. Please know that you are loved.

Lack of pleasure. Ive been struggling a lot with this lately. Its such an odd state, Im not super sad all the time, but its like all pleasure sensors have burned out. Anyone experience this? I have long term depression, on meds and in therapy. Think im trying to find hope battling my body.

Hi @januaryjane, I see that you posted a few times last night about your lack of feeling pleasure that the "pleasure sensors have burned out." I merged your new discussion about anhedonia to this one that you also started and feeling lonely and shutting down.

What is the day looking like for you this morning? @gailb and I will be watching for your reply.

Let us know what we can do for you. Good advice, compassion and love runs rampant on this site. We’ve all been in bad places just like you.

Hi, @januaryjane . Anhedonia is one of the pieces of depression that I have been experiencing since I fell apart 16 years ago. I had always found pleasure in life, in many things. But pleasure seemed to have evaporated. Along with other things, of course.

In my pre-depression life I might have said something like, "things will get better", or some other platitude. The thoughtless, lack of understanding list of unhelpful things that are said to hurting people is pretty long. I've heard my share of them.

As others have said, you have found a safe place here, full of people like us, who need a listening ear without being judged, who need caring support without the platitudes and empty words.

I've been seeing therapists for 14 years now, and have been taking antidepressants, and all of it has mostly stabilized me. Because of the nature of depression, anxiety, PTSD and other illnesses, if we're willing to hear the truth and to accept the truth, depression and all its cousins will quite possibly be with us for the rest of our lives. I know that a lot of people won't agree with that, but it's been a help for me to become ok with that and to figure out how I will make adjustments to be in control of the person I am.

I know from a very long experience what a challenge it can be to find the right combination of medications that will even out the lows enough to keep me going.

Please just know that a great group of ordinary people will be here for you, to listen and give you their caring support. Me included.

Jim

@januaryjane

I was thinking about you, wondering how your weekend is going.

I've been seeing therapists since 2006, and each one has moved away after a year. So, with a couple of gaps when there was no one to see who would accept Medicare, I think I'm now on #13. And he's old enough to retire if he chose to. Each one of them has helped me keep going. After 18 months without therapy, I told one of them that he had saved my life. I was falling apart and wanting to exit, but after the first session I knew that here was a therapist who heard me and cared about me. It was a difficult time when he left with only two weeks notice.

Has your doctor or therapist talked with you lately about changing your medication? A couple of years ago I was feeling myself going down, and I met with the psychiatrist and he added a medication that would enhance the antidepressant I was taking, and it has helped. It's amazing how much the right medication can help, isn't it?

Feel free to write again. I will be looking for you.

Jim

@januaryjane How are you doing? I haven't seen a response from you to the questions I asked. If you don't want to answer my questions that's fine, however please update me on how you're feeling. I do know that medication can rob us of feeling pleasure, including sexual pleasure. Depression can do that as well. One thing I did to begin feeling again was to volunteer for various activities. This reminded me of pleasurable feelings of compassion for others and awakened my general feelings of goodwill.

I have found it difficult to feel good during this Pandemic and Black Lives Matter movement. I can't help out in either case and I would normally be very active in protests for things I believe strongly about. The amount of change we're experiencing can be destabilizing. The loss of balance as previous beliefs are challenged, and as we let go of old ways of thinking and acting can feel as if we are without our anchors in life. Added to the societal challenges, having physical and mental health issues can bring us down further.

I hope to hear from you today. Virtual hugs for you.

Hi guys, sorry I havent been back for awhile. I really appreciate your replies and im going to get back to you soon. I am a little better, nights are usually tougher. Im so glad to see your responses because tonight has been choppy. They made me feel good. Physically i am safe. Thank you.

@januaryjane How are you this morning?
Ginger

Can so relate to the difficulties in feeling pleasure in anything but didn't know there's a term for it. The norm for me is every day I wake up with depression an all too familiar feeling or lack of feeling. The meds route didn't work so now classified as medication resistant. Go to therapy as needed but reality as/if I can afford it. Feel so lost and see no options for peace and more clarity...ugh. Your sharing lets me know I'm not alone.