Caring for my husband with late-stage lung cancer

Posted by turtle115 @turtle115, Mar 25, 2020

My first time here. My husband has lung cancer that has spread to liver, stomach and pelvis. Originally showed spot on lungs and liver August 2019. He is now 78 and has been a stroke survivor for 20 years...aphasia, walked with cane, no use of right arm. We decided not to proceed with cancer Treatments. But after Christmas things took a turn for the worse....he can stand but Can only move a little to the wheelchair bed or chair. We had CT in January which showed lung cancer, liver, stomach and pelvis. He is DNR so we wait. He is home and Hospice comes here twice a week. He has had a sore on his chin for over a month and recently, about the size of a dime, on the back of his head. He is not a complainer..... he is coughing up thick, white phlegm a lot now. He also has many tumors on his back...more every day, not open soreS but I see And feel them and some getting larger. Any one have thoughts that the sore on his head and face that maybe it has spread to the brain? How long can one survive like this? He is ready mentally and spiritually to leave this earth.....it is the waiting and watching him lose weight that is so hard. Any thoughts, help or prayers will be appreciated.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Lung Cancer Support Group.

Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Apr 1, 2020

In reply to @turtle115 "Sometimes, just water or a coughing spell." + (show)

@turtle115- I'm thinking of you today- How was your night? WOuld you mind sharing what the hospice person said?

turtle115 | @turtle115 | Apr 1, 2020

In reply to @merpreb "@turtle115- I'm thinking of you today- How was your night? WOuld you mind sharing what the..." + (show)

Hospice will be coming daily now. Andrew is not eating at all....just a little water...his mouth is so dry. He had fever, sweating and clammy skin last night. The assisted living care partners are afraid the fever could be COVD19....we have had one die and yesterday 4 tested positive. Hospice doesn't think it is the virus but the progression of the cancer. We are in lockdown.....which is a shame....this is when Hospice would be telling us it is time for the family to come. She said it is about making him comfortable. His heart rate is staying about 140+...sounds awfully high to me. The pain meds seem to be doing their job. Sleeping a lot. It is so hard for me to sit here, alone, seeing the pain on his face. I think I had mentioned tumors on his back....I noticed a small bump this morning right about his hairline.....will watch and see if more come or it gets larger. I thought dying would be peaceful. Not so for him or me. 🙏

Scott, Volunteer Mentor | @IndianaScott | Apr 1, 2020

In reply to @turtle115 "Hospice will be coming daily now. Andrew is not eating at all....just a little water...his mouth..." + (show)

Your post is heartbreaking to read, @turtle115 I am so very sorry to read of your husband's condition and your being on lockdown. I am sure it is of little solace, but it must be good to be close by. My brother-in-law was just put into the hospital and his wife cannot even enter the building.

I hope you are somewhat comforted knowing hospice is there. Hospice made a world of difference for my wife and provided her exceptional care.
Wishing you continued strength, courage, and peace

Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Apr 1, 2020

In reply to @turtle115 "Hospice will be coming daily now. Andrew is not eating at all....just a little water...his mouth..." + (show)

@turtle115 My heart aches for you, and for your husband. Is there any music that would comfort you both, or recitations that may ease you? Are you able to do Facetime or Skype type family gathering? We are here for you.
Ginger

lioness | @lioness | Apr 1, 2020

@turtle115 Im so sorry for you and your husband . I did Hospice and know what all you are going through. May joy be found each day you look at each other

Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Apr 1, 2020

In reply to @turtle115 "Hospice will be coming daily now. Andrew is not eating at all....just a little water...his mouth..." + (show)

@turtle115- I'm truly saddened to hear this. I know that this had been a long journey for both of you. I can't imagine going through this without Hospice. They are truly angels. It does sound like his cancer is spreading. Thank goodness for pain meds. May peace be with you both at this time.