Caring for my husband with late-stage lung cancer

Posted by turtle115 @turtle115, Mar 25, 2020

My first time here. My husband has lung cancer that has spread to liver, stomach and pelvis. Originally showed spot on lungs and liver August 2019. He is now 78 and has been a stroke survivor for 20 years...aphasia, walked with cane, no use of right arm. We decided not to proceed with cancer Treatments. But after Christmas things took a turn for the worse....he can stand but Can only move a little to the wheelchair bed or chair. We had CT in January which showed lung cancer, liver, stomach and pelvis. He is DNR so we wait. He is home and Hospice comes here twice a week. He has had a sore on his chin for over a month and recently, about the size of a dime, on the back of his head. He is not a complainer..... he is coughing up thick, white phlegm a lot now. He also has many tumors on his back...more every day, not open soreS but I see And feel them and some getting larger. Any one have thoughts that the sore on his head and face that maybe it has spread to the brain? How long can one survive like this? He is ready mentally and spiritually to leave this earth.....it is the waiting and watching him lose weight that is so hard. Any thoughts, help or prayers will be appreciated.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Lung Cancer Support Group.

Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Mar 30, 2020

In reply to @turtle115 "Thanks for caring. I had to call hospice last night.....severe pain in his head.....forehead area. Increased..." + (show)

Hello @turtle115 .
I appreciate the update. I'm so sorry to hear of the difficult struggle you and your husband are going through. I hope you have a quieter night tonight.

turtle115 | @turtle115 | Mar 30, 2020

Thank you....I, too, hope for a peaceful night. 🙂

Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Mar 31, 2020

In reply to @turtle115 "Thank you....I, too, hope for a peaceful night. 🙂" + (show)

Good morning @turtle115- Did you have a restful night? Do you think that your husband's comfort is being properly cared for with the medicines that hospice and your doctor have prescribed? When you spoke with hospice did they help with his pain?

turtle115 | @turtle115 | Mar 31, 2020

In reply to @merpreb "Good morning @turtle115- Did you have a restful night? Do you think that your husband's comfort..." + (show)

How I wish I could say YES...a restful night....I feel like a jack-in-the-box.....last night it was 6 times I got up to check on my husband. The hospice nurse I called the other night did help me. ....waiting for her visit today. He has developed an open sore top of his butt....I have Zinc Paste I have been using...want the nurse to check it out today.
I am sorry if I am complaining....I don't wish to do that....just saying how it is! And it does help to "get it out". Thanks

Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Mar 31, 2020

In reply to @turtle115 "How I wish I could say YES...a restful night....I feel like a jack-in-the-box.....last night it was..." + (show)

I am so sorry that last night was also difficult, @turtle115. You are working so hard to keep your husband comfortable. I'm sure that he appreciates your efforts even if he cannot express them now.

I understand your need to "get it out." That is why Connect is here. We want everyone to be able to express what is going on and be supported.

Will you post again after the hospice nurse visits?

Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Mar 31, 2020

@turtle115- Actually you are rather restrained! lol. We want you to complain, we all have to vent. Connect is the place to dod this. You are in a tough position and need to vent and speak what you feel. Are you sleeping close by to your husband? The reason is that I'm curious about you being closer to him or getting a monitor would help you sleep better?

turtle115 | @turtle115 | Mar 31, 2020

In reply to @hopeful33250 "I am so sorry that last night was also difficult, @turtle115. You are working so hard..." + (show)

I will.

turtle115 | @turtle115 | Mar 31, 2020

In reply to @merpreb "@turtle115- Actually you are rather restrained! lol. We want you to complain, we all have to..." + (show)

Actually, we are in separate rooms....adjoining rooms.....close....when he calls I hear......sometimes he needs to use the urinal, sometimes he thinks he has to but doesn't

turtle115 | @turtle115 | Mar 31, 2020

In reply to @turtle115 "Actually, we are in separate rooms....adjoining rooms.....close....when he calls I hear......sometimes he needs to use the..." + (show)

Sometimes, just water or a coughing spell.