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Mentor

COVID-19: What does it mean for people in ICU and for families?

Posted by Rosemary, Volunteer Mentor @rosemarya, Mar 15, 2020

Becoming ill with COVID-19 is a uniquely isolating and scary time for all of us, especially you are in the hospital or ICU. Everywhere people are being asked to practice social distancing, many ICUs and hospitals are restricting or not allowing visitors. Luckily this community is virtually open any time all the time to connect with others. If you or a loved one are in ICU right now because of COVID-19 or for any other reason, our ears and hearts are open to let you know you are not alone.

Are you in the hospital right now and want to chat with others? Is your family member in the hospital and you're not able to visit?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Intensive Care (ICU) Support Group.

Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | May 2, 2020
In reply to @mutwo "Hi Becky...sending love prayers and hugs to you and your family as well. I’ve thought about..." + (show)
@mutwo

Hi Becky...sending love prayers and hugs to you and your family as well. I’ve thought about coming here but I was too ashamed to come. I felt like I failed my husband. He is still in the hospital. He was transferred to a long term acute care facility last week. I have no contact with him. I am not able to inquire about his health. He supposedly has four daughters from his previous marriage who petitioned for guardianship and conservatorship. I was so upset from having to leave him that I didn’t respond timely to the petition and the judge granted them guardianship based off false information. A young resident made a vicious statement about me in their petition that aided in the injustice that was committed. My wanting to transfer him because of the poor care there caused me to be disliked by his care team. Through it all, I’ve been managing by focusing on GOD through studying and praying. Thank you kindly for remembering us...

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@mutwo I am so sorry that you felt ashamed. YOU have nothing to be ashamed of. You did your best in a trying situation in very difficult times. Your husbands daughters are also upset by the whole situation, not necessarily at you. Take some time to grieve with your children and then reach out to your step-daughters. Let them know of your concerns for their father and see if you can help. Please stay in touch, I care

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1 reply
Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | May 3, 2020
In reply to @mutwo "Thank you Becky....I apologize for not seeing your message sooner. I don’t come online much. My..." + (show)
@mutwo

Thank you Becky....I apologize for not seeing your message sooner. I don’t come online much. My children lost their father March 31st unexpectedly. I have been trying to be strong for them while hurting for their loss along with the pain of my husband’s condition...i saw him on FaceTime when he was first transferred on the 24th of this month and he looked lost...I didnt know if he knew who I was or not...when I tried to call back the next day a different nurse was rude to me before hanging up in my ear

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Hello, @mutwo I’ve been wondering if it might be a good idea for you to talk with a lawyer. You are still the wife and you need to know what your rights are as things move forward. I can’t tell you what to do, only offer suggestions. Maybe on a more positive note, you could tell me about your husband. Do you mind that I asked you?

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Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | May 3, 2020
In reply to @colleenyoung "Hi @Mamacita, we haven't connected for a little while. Is your husband still in ICU? How..." + (show)
@colleenyoung

Hi @mamacita, we haven't connected for a little while. Is your husband still in ICU? How about your daughter? I'd love to hear from you and know how you are managing.

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Hi, @colleenyoung, yes, it has been a long time. My husband had two surgeries for MRSA, and three for his heart. He is still in the hospital, but in a regular room. We are trying to patiently wait until the tube comes out. He cannot come home until the tubing quits draining.

My daughter spent a month at a special center for folks with traches. Now she is in a SNF in Tennessee for rehap. She has been put back on a vent. Communication is difficult for both due to the times we are in.

It has been a struggle at times. I won't lie. But faith, family, and friends help tremendously.

I hope to be able to get back on Connect very soon. I miss all of you so much.

Love and light,
Mamacita Jane

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2 replies
Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | May 3, 2020
In reply to @mamacita "Hi, @ColleenYoung, yes, it has been a long time. My husband had two surgeries for MRSA,..." + (show)
@mamacita

Hi, @colleenyoung, yes, it has been a long time. My husband had two surgeries for MRSA, and three for his heart. He is still in the hospital, but in a regular room. We are trying to patiently wait until the tube comes out. He cannot come home until the tubing quits draining.

My daughter spent a month at a special center for folks with traches. Now she is in a SNF in Tennessee for rehap. She has been put back on a vent. Communication is difficult for both due to the times we are in.

It has been a struggle at times. I won't lie. But faith, family, and friends help tremendously.

I hope to be able to get back on Connect very soon. I miss all of you so much.

Love and light,
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita, you have certainly had more than your share of trials, which have been complicated by our current trying times. My heart goes out to all those who have loved ones in need of medical care, in hospital or in long-term care homes. I'm grateful that you pop in to let us know that you're hanging in, @mamacita. You're kind to take the time. We are always thinking of you.

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mutwo | @mutwo | May 4, 2020
In reply to @fiesty76 "@mutwo, Just want you to know that I am joining Becky and others here in sending..." + (show)
@fiesty76

@mutwo, Just want you to know that I am joining Becky and others here in sending you and your family my thoughts and cyber hugs as well during this most heart wrenching time. I am glad you shared your experience even though I understand how difficult that was to do.

This group understands better than many casual acquaintances, friends or neighbors how critical health situations can bring out both the worst and best in those closest to us.

My best friend is home with Hospice care. Her daughter came to stay and take over her mom's medical and quality of care needs. Sadly, her mom gave her both legal and medical powers of attorney long before my friend's loving guy of 20+ years came into her life. Now the daughter is creating havoc in the home, attempting to take over financial matters and threatening that either "he or I need to move out of the house". I advised immediate counsel with an attorney and although they made an appointment, they cancelled it when the Hospice team scheduled a home conference because of the daughter's behavior. My friend owns the home where they reside and only she can order her daughter to leave. While she has told the daughter that her guy "stays", she is unwilling to order her to leave.

It is more than enough pain to bear witnessing what you and they are experiencing. I am so thankful that your deep religious faith is bolstering your ability to continue to manage and remain strong in the knowledge that your husband knows of your enduring love.

Support is the name of the game in this Connect group. We are here for you.

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Feisty, I’m very sorry to hear about your friend’s condition. I pray she is getting better and not suffering. I’m sorry that you all are experiencing this. Life hurts. I find it hard to get through a day. I’ve been trying to keep myself occupied....thank you for sharing with me and thank you for sharing your time and thoughtfulness....♥️

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mutwo | @mutwo | May 4, 2020
In reply to @lioness "@mutwo I too echo fiesty76 words. What a terrible thing for them to do to you..." + (show)
@lioness

@mutwo I too echo fiesty76 words. What a terrible thing for them to do to you and your husband . My thought and prayers are with you . This is a bad time for you and him my heart goes out to you and to make things worse our country is dealing with so much right now . Again Im sorry this happened to you . Take care of yourself . Linda

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Hi Linda...I pray that all is well for you and your family and thank you and everyone here for your prayers. My husbands ex wife has constantly caused problems for the seven years that we’ve been together, but after we were married last year things got worse and he stopped communicating with her and her daughters...he changed his telephone number and did what he felt was necessary to avoid them. They were fighting to keep him at the facility tht he was being abused in and won because I was focused on getting him out of there and not on the petition they filed for guardianship...they listed all of his assets. His assets were and are my least concern. I just wanted him to be okay...it has been a nightmare that we couldn’t get out of. I’ve been trying to pray for them but honestly it’s hard. They told so many lies on me along with his two sisters that dnt even know me...I couldn’t even read the petition because it was so upsetting. I’m so disappointed that I was so weak at the time when he needed me most.... nikki

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1 reply
mutwo | @mutwo | May 4, 2020
In reply to @becsbuddy "@mutwo I am so sorry that you felt ashamed. YOU have nothing to be ashamed of...." + (show)
@becsbuddy

@mutwo I am so sorry that you felt ashamed. YOU have nothing to be ashamed of. You did your best in a trying situation in very difficult times. Your husbands daughters are also upset by the whole situation, not necessarily at you. Take some time to grieve with your children and then reach out to your step-daughters. Let them know of your concerns for their father and see if you can help. Please stay in touch, I care

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Hi Becky, thank you for your support and I pray all is well. The daughters were hostile from the beginning. The oldest came in his room and pushed me while he was on the ventilator and threatened to have me killed because he and I wanted to transfer. Then another one was yelling in his room to the point where he had to ask her to leave three times. I tried to ask her to calm dwn and she told me that he and her argued and it wasn’t about me. But he’s on a respirator...he can’t argue? I tried to work with them but they all had a issue with me even asking the physicians questions regarding his care. I had to call for security and eventually stop their visits because of their aggression.

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1 reply
mayofeb2020 | @mayofeb2020 | May 4, 2020
In reply to @mutwo "Hi Becky, thank you for your support and I pray all is well. The daughters were..." + (show)
@mutwo

Hi Becky, thank you for your support and I pray all is well. The daughters were hostile from the beginning. The oldest came in his room and pushed me while he was on the ventilator and threatened to have me killed because he and I wanted to transfer. Then another one was yelling in his room to the point where he had to ask her to leave three times. I tried to ask her to calm dwn and she told me that he and her argued and it wasn’t about me. But he’s on a respirator...he can’t argue? I tried to work with them but they all had a issue with me even asking the physicians questions regarding his care. I had to call for security and eventually stop their visits because of their aggression.

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@mutwo. I'm sorry about issues you are having. I hope your husband gets better soon so he can come home with you. Have you consider legal help to get you through with his ex wife and daughters? This is a difficult time for you, take care of yourself.

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1 reply
mutwo | @mutwo | May 4, 2020
In reply to @becsbuddy "Hello, @mutwo I’ve been wondering if it might be a good idea for you to talk..." + (show)
@becsbuddy

Hello, @mutwo I’ve been wondering if it might be a good idea for you to talk with a lawyer. You are still the wife and you need to know what your rights are as things move forward. I can’t tell you what to do, only offer suggestions. Maybe on a more positive note, you could tell me about your husband. Do you mind that I asked you?

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Hi Becky...this situation has shown me that I’m nobody. He has now been transferred to a long term acute care facility. I was able to do a FaceTime with him when he first arrived there before they set up his password. I don’t know if it was good that I did because he looked so lost, so different than how he was when I was with him. When I called back the next day, a different nurse asked me if I was the wife and I told her yes, she said we can’t talk to you and hung up. I hired an attorney the day of the hearing on March 27th but I don’t think I hired the right one. A national advocate recommended him but after I told her some of his remarks she said I shouldn’t have. He has relatives affiliated with the hospital that we wanted to be transferred from. He made me aware of that before I hired him so it was my mistake. You can ask me anything . I have to write a letter to the judge in response to the false statements that were made in the petition ....nikki

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mutwo | @mutwo | May 4, 2020
In reply to @mamacita "Hi, @ColleenYoung, yes, it has been a long time. My husband had two surgeries for MRSA,..." + (show)
@mamacita

Hi, @colleenyoung, yes, it has been a long time. My husband had two surgeries for MRSA, and three for his heart. He is still in the hospital, but in a regular room. We are trying to patiently wait until the tube comes out. He cannot come home until the tubing quits draining.

My daughter spent a month at a special center for folks with traches. Now she is in a SNF in Tennessee for rehap. She has been put back on a vent. Communication is difficult for both due to the times we are in.

It has been a struggle at times. I won't lie. But faith, family, and friends help tremendously.

I hope to be able to get back on Connect very soon. I miss all of you so much.

Love and light,
Mamacita Jane

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Hello Jane....my prayers to you and your family...I’m sorry that you are going through this...I’m trusting in the LORD during these difficult times

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