Accepting Your Symptoms

Hi, @njp1013 - that is interesting that you mention accepting your symptoms. I was feeling anxious this summer with just having moved to a house we purchased across town and the fact that our new home has more traffic noise at some hours of the day than I'd realized pre-purchase, in addition to the anxiety and stress of all the work involved in moving.

One of the techniques my mom said her friend taught her was "radical acceptance." This concept is referenced in this Psychology Today article and in many other places https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pieces-mind/201312/three-blocks-radical-acceptance.

Interesting to think that I can choose to stop fighting whatever I am anxious about and just try and accept. In my case, it was to love my new house for all its beauty and wonderful features we didn't have before, yet accept its warts and that it is not perfect. Maybe this goes against the ideal of a "dream house," but I think that for many, a house that is perfect in every way is illusory and not completely in reality financially and otherwise.

What symptoms in particular are you talking about accepting, njp1013?

@lisalucier thank you i will read that article! for me the symptoms right now are insomnia (waking up between 330-4 every day), lots of sweating, lots of anxiety, loss of appetite, crying at the drop of hat, inability to focus on things i enjoy or work..all the typical good stuff that comes with anxiety and depression i guess :-(, going thru the hell month of getting back on antidepressants. i understand your house anxiety too..for the longest time my wife and i felt guilty about having a home that was too small for our family not a single family home etc etc...caused so much financial stress and pointless striving for more..we finally accepted we are happy where we are and that helped alot.

wow thanks just read the article, using anger as a secondary emotion to block my primary emotions pretty much sums up what got me here...working on that in therapy.

@njp1013 - that's helpful to know that the symptoms of depression and anxiety you are trying to accept while you heal are insomnia, sweating, loss of appetite, feeling anxious, crying at the drop of a hat and inability to focus on work or things you enjoy. That's an interesting point that you find it difficult to accept your symptoms at times due to the fear that arises from your symptoms.

Hoping that some of these members might have some tricks/pointers you might use to help you accept your symptoms, like @mandrake70 @cdcc @contentandwell @grandmar @sandij @mommabird74, especially in light of trying to hold it together at work and with your kids.

In all honesty, I think that getting an increase in my dosage of fluoxetine (Prozac), along with time and trying to keep more in control of my thoughts (instead of letting them control me and ruminating on what I was anxious about) also helped me out, along with acceptance.

In addition to trying to accept them, are you finding anything helpful thus far with addressing any of the symptoms you mentioned? Any nights where something helped you sleep longer, for instance?

chamomile tea seems to help, and my symptoms seem to abate at night time, kinda ramp up again before bed though as i get anxious about sleeping. also being with my family always seems to help..my wife is very understanding of this and has helped me so much.. i wouldnt mind the not sleeping if i could use the time doing things i enjoy but unfortunately in the state im in when i wake up early i dont feel i can enjoy anything, but maybe i havent tried hard enough, maybe tomorrow will make a cup of tea and try to read the paper or something..

First of all, it’s ok to not be ok. Don’t try to fake it. Tell people you are not feeling well today. I mean dont be negative but don’t pretend because then it builds up inside and that has to be released eventually. Also know that you will get better. Don’t trap yourself in the sick role... be a survivor. It’s a tricky thing to be both you know. Also people may never truly understand so know that this is your battle to fight and unless someone has gone through this, they won’t fully understand. I weened antidepressants after 20 years, lexapro. My last pill was February 5th of this year. I feel better than when I was taking it. Also have weened Xanax and currently weening trazadone. What helped me get through the really hard times was God, music, exercise, diet, being real with people around me, crying for as long as I needed and not holding back, seeking out homeopathic md and found root cause. Good luck! I’m routing for you!!!

I agree that one has to accept that it is okay to be ill, it happens to us more frequently perhaps, but it is important to realize that while we are sick we are not abnormal or flawed individuals. As crazy as it sounds, I have learned much from my illnesses about how to be stronger and how to be a more empathetic person. The price of being sick is sometimes at the brink of what we think we can bear, but when we carry forth we should understand that we are fit in ways that people cannot understand; just as they do not know what it means to be severely depressed, to live with chronic illness, or to know how we are able to live despite our maladies. While we are strong we also need to know when to take help and when we are at our limits.

thank you i appreciate your support! that is awesome that you are feeling good and doing so well. you are right, it is ok to not be ok..everyone goes thru times that they are not ok and i do believe i will get better. thanks again.

@guener thank you and very well said.

@lisalucier @njp1013 I think the type of anxiety that njp experiences is different from any anxiety i have experienced. When I have had these problems it’s been a reaction to a stressful situation or worry about something that I can’t control anyway. I have never been on drugs except for a very occasional lorazepam when some worry causes sleepless nights.

When I have had anxieties or been depressed I have always found that if I can get myself motivated to do something it takes my mind off of things, at least for that amount of time. Before I retired I welcomed going to work when I had troubles. It is more difficult if you don’t have to do something.

I wish I could be more helpful, but this is not really within my personal experience.
JK