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My dad has a mass on bladder and kidney not functioning
He is getting surgery tomorrow to remove mass have no idea if cancerous- assuming they will send off - doc said removal may”jump start his kidney which he was unaware is not functioning.. he had prostate cancer and has brach treatment i believe - that cancers gone but i have been reading that having had radiation for it may lead to bladder cancer - anyone experience this?
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Progression he’s lapping the floor! “ things” are back up and moving again. He got tube pulled out of nose! No food for two days been tubed today after 1/2 day with 1/2 day without hes able to sip water- was hoping for at least broth but nothing
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3 ReactionsOops sorry wasnt done- nothing today- hes hoping for breakfast tomorrow! 😬
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3 ReactionsSo dad had a followup on his bladder removal surgery with doc today- not good news- he had a hernia surgery many yrs ago i think before the prostate cancer but the mesh showed signs of cancer the doc said everything was so plastered together i. There he took anything and everything that didn't look right out but cant be sure till testing the tissue - so he’s been given a name to see about radiation when he heals from this surgery- which is still painful to point of needing pain pills- 🙁
Im so scared for him and my mom - i Trust the Lord nothing is a surprise to Him- thats comforting To me -but im still sad and it hurts bad
im hoping He doesnt just quit. On everything -But i dont know how long he’ll fight this...im positive all he wants is to get back to work but he cant hurtingso much..:( bills are prob on his mind my mom, and a million thoughts im sure 🙁
Going to their house tommorrow to help mom put up the christmas tree- hoping if she wont let us kids move christmas to our house this yr that she’ll at least let me n my sisters do the food. Not aure if dad would feel comfortable leaving home yet... they are gonna talk it over and get back with me. I wish i could do more. Im here and i let them know but im sad today.😭
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3 ReactionsLet me begin by saying that your parents are fortunate to have you looking after them. In spite of their own worry, I believe that your love, concern, and prayers are a source of strength for them. I experienced a difficult health crisis before my transplant, and knowing that my sons were 'there' for both me and my husband, their dad, was a blessing and a source of peace and comfort for us each day of our ordeal.
I am sorry to learn about this new complication for your dad. It is difficult to face uncertainty, and we learned that it helped us to deal with one day at a time as we prayed and hoped for whatever was our future.
Christmas was a tough time here. We cut back of the festivities and decorations. Our boys took care of dinner and it was a wonderful family time for us. Don't be surprised if your dad wants to stay home and have a relaxed Christmas this year.
Peace and Strength
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2 Reactions@formydad I will be hoping and praying for the best for your father. First, I hope his pain will improve, that can cloud everything I think. Then I hope the prognosis will improve also. You sound like such a loving son, your parents are very fortunate to have you there for them. I know my son and daughter would be the same if they lived closer but they live states away.
As @rosemarya said, they may want to stay put this year, it might be easier for them, but with you and your sisters able to help out and do most of the work then it will hopefully be a happy holiday, merry Christmas, for all. When my son and daughter come home for Christmas they pretty much do everything, even now. That started when I was pre-transplant (liver).
Unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done for your sad feelings, they are just natural for a caring person. I am sure as your father improves, your sadness will too. I hope each day improves for your dad.
JK
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2 Reactions@formydad I’m very sorry to hear about the ‘not good news’ for your dad. But, having you near is so comforting to him and your mother. Take each day as it comes. Be upbeat and positive when you can. You’ve been so strong and caring for them all this time. Maybe the American Cancer Society has a support group that you could go to. Would that help you to deal with stress?
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2 Reactions@formydad You are such a strong person, and I for one am so glad you found us, to share your concerns with and let us offer support even if it is just electronically. If I was there with you, I would first give you a long hug, then sit down with a cup of coffee or tea, and let you share as you do here so wonderfully. It has to be somewhat disheartening, as you've watched your dad take steps backwards then forward again. As @becsbuddy suggested, contact the American Cancer Society, or a Wellness Community, to get some in-person support if you feel called to do so. Quiet holidays can be so much more meaningful, and recalled clearer, at least for me. It's okay to be sad, you are having normal emotions. How are you doing this morning? We are all here for you....
Ginger
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3 ReactionsThank you two!!!!
After a good cry... im good- pressing on! Ill be by their my parents side through this till whatever the outcome. It just gets, hard at times. The ups n downs But crying helps a lot. I cant “fix” this. And mom gets so sad about dad- 1st but also naturally thinks about possibly being alone- i told her as long as God keeps me here -you wont be.
but i can only do what im doing and thats just what im going to continue to do! This is my outlet- mayo connect- ill never get to personal but i am SO thankful as ill never stop saying - for this small place online filled with so much cyber love, support, straight talk and invaluable info. Thanks for being here:) their home is all decorated and trees up:)
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4 ReactionsI’ve been thinking again @formydad . Is it possible for you to reach out to your mother’s friends and enlist their support. They could take your mom to lunch (or anywhere) while you or your siblings watch over your dad. I think she may need a break. And it gives all of you private time to spend with your dad. Could you maybe try and see what works? Becky
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3 Reactions@formydad I'll bet that the house looks great all decorated, and may let you lighten your emotional burden for a while. What kind of traditions has your family followed in the past?
Ginger
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