When worries are real

Hi, @pigletpmd - welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. You have for sure been through many very difficult experiences, with the marital separation, losing a job due to anxiety keeping you from going in to work, and being in danger of losing your house and filing for bankruptcy. That is a lot to have on your mind.

I'd like to call in some others who may have some input for you with these worries that are quite real in your life right now, and even a small bit of suicidal ideation creeping in. Please meet @hopeful33250 @lioness @gailb @becsbuddy @kdo0827 @grandmar @thankful.

Are you feeling safe right now? Do you have a psychiatrist or counselor you can reach out to for some support with all you are dealing with?

I have a psychiatrist and I’m medicated. I only see her every 3 months. I can’t afford a therapist right now. I’m meeting with some good friends tonight that I can talk to. I do think I’m safe. My feelings are more passive. I have no plans to hurt myself. Just that feeling that I wish it were all over. If it gets worse, I’ll cal my doctor’s office.

@ pigletpmd ,I think you are right in doing this going to your psychiatrist and taking the medication as directed / also good friends to talk to.

@pigletpmd To have these feelings is scary. To worry is real. I understand the monsters. There are those here that do understand in different ways. I am thankful you have friends to talk to. You can conquer the monsters. Share as you can. May I ask your age? You have a lot on your plate right now. Is there anything you can do to distract your mind from the monsters??

I just turned 59. I watch tv at night to distract myself but during the day I don’t. I try to use the treadmill most days and I follow groups like this. I am going to a meeting of depression anonymous tomorrow for the first time. I’m anxious about that. My desire to isolate is strong.

@pigletpmd Sounds as though you are making strides to defeat your monsters. I can understand your desire to isolate. I am like this. When I convince myself to break camp I find I do feel better. A group sounds interesting. Is this a type of support group? Thank you for sharing your age.

I went to depress anonymous. I can’t say it really helped other than to be around people that understand. They suggested 6 meetings in 6 weeks, like most 12 step programs. I’m planning to try it again. I hope I’ll fibd support there. I’ve been in Alanon in the past because of family members that have addictions. I know these programs can help. But my anxiety is telling me not to go. I just don’t want to open up or listen to all the bad things that can happen.

@pigletpmd It's often difficult to talk ourselves in to doing better for ourselves. Change is scary, and we have to become vulnerable. To do that means we are stronger than we think we are, and have confidence that it will make us feel better. Staying in our own s*** is warm and comfortable. But it stinks after a while. Tell yourself, and repeat it often, that you are better and bigger than your problems. It's hard, and no one I know here, will say it is easy. We're here for you, and together we are stronger!
Ginger

@pigletpmd Don't let those beasties win it your life not theres