Holiday Feelings: Are They Merry or Stressful?

@hopeful33250 You betcha!! My little guy was here again today. We are definitely getting quality and quantity time. Tired...the happy kind. 🙂

I think it’s easy to get stressed over the holidays as we try to do too much. I’ve had a get together every Christmas Eve for 40 years but next year it will get scaled back. Just too much on me now.

I know I have slowed down. It was time to lighten the load and it is okay.

I am very stressed this holiday season . For. 1 I broke my back in July, we have hard a gentleman working on our master bathroom as the floor was rotted. He has taken 4 mo to do this he is so slow. Almost done though. I haven't been able to lay down an rest in my room since August. He has had a wet saw in my bedroom to cut tile for 1 week now .he covered the bed. But everything else has 1 inch of dust on it. I have to crawl into bed. Because there is no space. He has taken up my whole garage with his tools and junk. It's suppose to snow next week and we can't get the snowblower out. Can't. Get Cars in garage. On top of this I have to finish X-Men ma's shopping. No cookies for us this yeas. And my husband and I fight about this every night. Help

@suerc-Welcome to Mayo Connect.- This can be such a stressful time of year. Can you complain to anyone about your contractor? He has to have a license from some dept. Also, since it's the holidays tell him that you need your bedroom back, that you have back problems and he will have to set up somewhere else. Maybe you have a deck that he can use? That's where my contractor set up. He also cleaned up everything and vacuumed the floors every night . I think that you need to put your foot down with him and make sure that your life is disrupted the least amount.
Are you in PT for your back? Do you still need pain meds for it?
I'm not sure what your daily routine is like but I know that I need to prioritize everything. Are you having Christmas at your house?

No I will go to my moms sometime since I was diagnosed with the rarest blood disorder and one sister doesn't act like she nod me and the other wanted to control everything they wanted to make me look like I couldn't care for. Myself. Tell my Dr seen .I forgave them and me and my mom is like oil and water and if I'm not handing money to my daughter and her low life boyfriend that never worked to put diapers on my grandchildren she keeps me from seeing them they have no idea about the Nash in my liver.

Tough year here. I have dysthymia, and it comes in peaks and valleys. Medication helps, but the holidays bring back good memories, and make current reality all the more painful. I am an only child with no children. My wife and I have great nephews and nieces on her side. She is not finding joy this holiday, and I suggest we are getting the Christmas upon which we agreed. No gifts to each other, since we don’t need anything. The nieces and nephews are getting cash. No decor in this house for many years. Next year will not be like this. I refuse to be in this conundrum again. I am so down, and I don’t care if I live until next year. One day at a time...

@elwooodsdad
It sounds as if this is an exceptionally emotional Christmas for you. I am so sorry that you feel so down. Often the compounding of health problems get us down and not feeling the Christmas spirit makes it all seem much worse.

Is there anything at all that you can do to lift your spirits? Are you able to walk, journal about your feelings, talk with someone over coffee, listen to your favorite music, read a good book?

@sharonryanbless Welcome to Mayo Connect. I am so sorry that you are having family problems on top of a rare blood disorder. Are you on medication for it? Perhaps, if you can, you could see a counselor during the holidays to help you get some of your anger out?

@elwooodsdad Is there something else you can do instead of Christmas? I know it seems that everyone is happy and celebrating and if you don't feel it, you might feel left out. I certainly have had those feelings myself thinking about how wonderful it must be and why can't my family be like that perfect family with a magical holiday? When family members don't get along, I feel sad wishing that it could be different. I feel the loss and really wish there could be closeness among my siblings, but I can't change it. I've learned not to set high expectations, and to look for enjoyment elsewhere. That is what I can do. I can redefine what I want Christmas to mean to me. I know also at this time of year with the gloomy overcast days and short sunlight hours, if affects our spirits. That is seasonal effective disorder when the lack of sunlight causes people to feel down. To remedy that, you can use some full spectrum lights that simulate sunlight and get some exposure to that daily. Maybe it's time to start a new tradition in whatever way that would be meaningful to you. Let go of the expectations. Live in the moment and find joy in simple pleasures. I have no children, but I have experienced joyful children by volunteering at a museum and helping direct crafts for kids. I've also given presentations about local history for kids through the museum, and one of the most rewarding things for me was when a school group sang a song for me to thank me for my presentation. That was a very creative teacher who did that and they came to the museum prepared ahead of time to sing. It was a surprise, and I wish I could play that over and over. I was teaching about local Native American history, and the kids had each taken an Indian name and made costumes for who they wanted to be in learning about the culture, and then as a group, sang the song. That touched me, and I hope a story like this might help you find some possibilities and hope.