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Holiday Feelings: Are They Merry or Stressful?

Posted by @hopeful33250, Dec 18, 2018

We are in the middle of a holiday season marked by twinkling lights, music, movies and sentiments that are supposed to bring joy and cheer. What if you don’t feel those sentiments right now? Is that OK?

Perhaps you have experienced difficulties, maybe health problems, loss of a job, or loss of a loved one. Maybe it is not possible to work-up the holiday cheer that everyone else experiences.

What do we do with the holidays if we are not feeling cheerful and upbeat?

Let's share together what you are doing with your less-than-merry holiday feelings.

REPLY

@lioness

@We can look to our past and remember the joy we had from others and realize it again.

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@lioness I am still working on this one. 🙁

@deaconrest

In the Old English “merry” meant less about merriment and more about courage and strength: “be of good courage.” As a young father trying to assemble those toys on Christmas Eve with confounding directions, being upbeat had to give way to determination and courage. In the depths of joy is much bedrock. There to be found, especially for those who may find sadnesses in all the hype, is a most beautiful “Yes.” Yes, it is good that we can share. Yes, it is good that I am here in the midst of a more deeply satisfying joy that confirms my presence in the universe. A Merry “Yes” to all.

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@deaconrest Beautifully written.

@hopeful33250

That's OK, @parus. I think we can all finish that thought with our own experiences.
For me that means: "I can appreciate connection once a year and that it is better than none at all." Great reminder for me.
Can anyone else finish @parus thought with one of their own?

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@hopeful33250 Precisely what I was in search of…Thank you for your feedback.

@parus

@gingerw The think I have noticed is those I no longer want in my life. I could no longer be their beast of burden. I feel better by having made these decisions and my absence was likely not noticed. I now help those that are appreciative and I still do my secret elf thing as it helps me to place a smile on another’s face when they find a goody to have with their morning cuppa and paper. My grandson is coming again tomorrow!!! A big smile on my face. I am grateful.

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@parus this I'd what makes the holiday merry ,hope your will be I'm sort of in the same boat but I'm going to sons for dinner on 23rd then home for the holidays

My grandchildren keep me focused for their happiness.

@greenbay

My grandchildren keep me focused for their happiness.

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Great thing about children, @greenbay, they keep us thinking about the future! I appreciate your sharing that. Many of our members have found great joy in grandchildren. If you read posts by @parus, you can see how much delight she gets from her grandson.

@jenniferhunter

@gingerw That's a nice story, Ginger. Reaching out to others is very meaningful and connects people. Thanks for sharing this.

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I always get soooo many mixed feelings about holidays. I usually start out feeling great anxiety about getting everything done…cleaning, shopping, cooking, setting everything up, etc. I worry if I'm going to feel tired and fatigued. All the added expense and food prices are ridiculous. Sometimes I feel obligated to invite people outside of my family so they're not alone…then I stress how to seat everyone nicely so we can have an elegant dinner. After years and years of doing this, it always works out beautifully, and when I look across the beautifully set table and see my entire family, including my parents which are on in age (dad 91 !!) Its soooo worth it all, and I thank God I'm able to do it! But I feel guilty that I start out cranky and feel pressured…oh well.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE HERE!!

We can all relate to your great post, @dazlin. It is good when it all comes together. I just wish I could focus on the end product rather than the day-to-day stressors that bring that end product to fruition😂

@debbraw

Thank you for posting this, Teresa. i was so stressed yesterday and today – trying to get last minute gifts bought, all gifts wrapped, some gifts mailed… I just felt overwhelmed. It helped me to make a list to really identify exactly what remained to be done. And then, tomorrow, on my list… I'm going to take some time for me. Maybe I will sit and look at the ocean, maybe I will walk… it's "me time" and I can do anything I want. I've penciled it in. LOL

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@debbraw– That's the point isn't it-to prioritize! I actually called off our usual celebrations for a few years because I couldn't seem to even do that. I have now learned that what I needed to do was not cancel but cut back and change things. I am very close with my sister and her family and she has been willing to adapt. So instead of me making a huge meal, etc for Christmas we go out, and this year we are going out on Christmas eve because our kids need to go back home. We have also cut back on gifts and enjoy the companionship much more instead of making gift giving, decorating and cooking a competition.
I think that we have all fallen into the commercial trap of holidays way too much. It's become too much for everyone I think.

@merpreb Great ideas, Merry. Thanks for sharing from your personal experience. Food for thought for us all~

@hopeful33250

Great thing about children, @greenbay, they keep us thinking about the future! I appreciate your sharing that. Many of our members have found great joy in grandchildren. If you read posts by @parus, you can see how much delight she gets from her grandson.

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@hopeful33250 You betcha!! My little guy was here again today. We are definitely getting quality and quantity time. Tired…the happy kind. 🙂

@merpreb

@debbraw– That's the point isn't it-to prioritize! I actually called off our usual celebrations for a few years because I couldn't seem to even do that. I have now learned that what I needed to do was not cancel but cut back and change things. I am very close with my sister and her family and she has been willing to adapt. So instead of me making a huge meal, etc for Christmas we go out, and this year we are going out on Christmas eve because our kids need to go back home. We have also cut back on gifts and enjoy the companionship much more instead of making gift giving, decorating and cooking a competition.
I think that we have all fallen into the commercial trap of holidays way too much. It's become too much for everyone I think.

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I think it’s easy to get stressed over the holidays as we try to do too much. I’ve had a get together every Christmas Eve for 40 years but next year it will get scaled back. Just too much on me now.

I know I have slowed down. It was time to lighten the load and it is okay.

I am very stressed this holiday season . For. 1 I broke my back in July, we have hard a gentleman working on our master bathroom as the floor was rotted. He has taken 4 mo to do this he is so slow. Almost done though. I haven't been able to lay down an rest in my room since August. He has had a wet saw in my bedroom to cut tile for 1 week now .he covered the bed. But everything else has 1 inch of dust on it. I have to crawl into bed. Because there is no space. He has taken up my whole garage with his tools and junk. It's suppose to snow next week and we can't get the snowblower out. Can't. Get Cars in garage. On top of this I have to finish X-Men ma's shopping. No cookies for us this yeas. And my husband and I fight about this every night. Help

@suerc-Welcome to Mayo Connect.- This can be such a stressful time of year. Can you complain to anyone about your contractor? He has to have a license from some dept. Also, since it's the holidays tell him that you need your bedroom back, that you have back problems and he will have to set up somewhere else. Maybe you have a deck that he can use? That's where my contractor set up. He also cleaned up everything and vacuumed the floors every night . I think that you need to put your foot down with him and make sure that your life is disrupted the least amount.
Are you in PT for your back? Do you still need pain meds for it?
I'm not sure what your daily routine is like but I know that I need to prioritize everything. Are you having Christmas at your house?

Liked by lioness

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