Holiday Feelings: Are They Merry or Stressful?

Leaving another country many years ago and leaving family behind to start a new life across the ocean as a young woman. Over the many years, sixty, only spent one Christmas with my mother when in her 80s she came to visit me in Canada.
In those days decades ago, no computers at home, cell phones, facetime etc, and had to even book at phone call for Christmas Day and it was almost unaffordable. My children grew up without the amazing influence/Christmas/birthdays without maternal grandparents and as you mention, although Christmas was nice, we had a tree, a few gifts etc., but hearing Christmas Carols always made me cry and still does.
Thoughts of our Christmas when I was young... the only time we had chicken, sausage rolls, home made Christmas cake and Christmas pudding; Mum bought rolls of crepe paper and we cut in strips and sewed colours together using sewing machine, twisted and hung on ceiling; paper chains, a very small live tree in a pail of soil with real candles on....just typing about it my tears are welling. To add a sad note in 2008 one Aunt who never made it here to visit, passed away in hospital Christmas Day and in 2014 my 45 year old "handicapped" nephew died Christmas Day in hospital - he was my buddy and we used to play FarmVille over computer most mornings for years; so mixture of fond memories, happy times, sad times, and now as a Senior not well, quiet times but am sure it must be similar for many of us. Having no grandchildren but adult daughters, we started to stop giving gifs and went to a nice restaurant for a really good meal instead - of course that changed with Covid... now the girls make dinner and bring ours over to us as live close by.... at least none of us are alone that special day; all I can suggest is not to try and make it a perfect day.... and expect too much not only from yourselves but from others... we all show our Christmas feelings on the outside but also keep the memories on the inside! Oh and I always do feel a little guilt, not being a church-goer, celebrating a birth - and now it's mainly about gift giving! How about this year cutting down on the expenses and perhaps helping out a person or family, known or unknown to us, who have had a rough year financially or otherwise... surely we can spare a few $$ and still have enough left for ourselves! 🇺🇸🇨🇦🇬🇧

Hi everyone, this question about holiday stress is interesting to me.

I just came in from grocery shopping and not only was there a display of holiday treats, but they were playing holiday music. Now, I understand it all about selling. I have friend that are so busy, they
love that you can buy gifts in October. Me not so much.

I take special care to stay stress free as much as possible. I avoid stores, and don't look through mail catalogs. I eat healtby, and get good sleep. Drinking water is also important, a daily walk too! I do indulge in premium bath bombs for long hot soaks on cold nights. I've also learned to say no. As in, No I don't want to join you in an ugly sweater contest that starts at 10pm, thank you! I do go out and meet friends for beakfast, and get coffee at a local shop. I visit and support local shops and book storrs, so I'm not a total Scrooge. I give gifts to family and friends. It's always well thought out and within my budget. Simple things, a gift card, a book, bulbs for spring planting. I donate a few pairs of socks to the shelters. You'd be amazed at how good this make me feel.

I think we should all take the pressure off ourselves and value what really matters. Keeping things carefree and easy had always been my go to.

And if I do have a moment of weakness and break out into a holiday song, or dance, or if I indulge in that pumpkin cheesecake with extra whip cream, then that's ok too. But then it's my choice and not that somehow I felt pressured into it.

Let's make our own rules.