Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Posted by Mamacita, Alumna Mentor @mamacita, Apr 29, 2018

Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question "Why?" At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn't really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don't speak these people's language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn't tell a joke, and you never "got" any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn't appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Autism (ASD) Support Group.

@mamacita

@teresa, Volunteer Mentor, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Self care is so hard for me. Tonight I used a brand new lotion on my hands and feet, arms, neck. A different one on my face.

I located my beach themed pajama pants and found my Memphis Zoo tee shirt to match. This is a rarity for me. Since one of my children lost their way many, many years ago, I found that part of me just simply did not care about niceties such as pajamas.

It was almost as if I felt that I did not deserve such a simple gesture of self care. It speaks to me of a time when I struggled to go to sleep, knowing full well I could get a phone call in
the middle of the night.

It's easier to get in the car and drive to the police station when you are already dressed in your street clothes.

After all these years, its still not over. They say that maturing stops the year that a young person plays with addiction. If untreated, they can remain stuck in a time warp. Sixteen year olds stuck in the bodies of 40 year olds.

I cannot change anyone else. No matter how hard I try. But I have learned a few things. I like pajamas. And lotion feels good on rough skin.

Good night, my friend. Thank you so much for what you bring to this table. Always, your friend,
Mamacita

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So true, @mamacita. Trying to change anyone but yourself always leads to frustration and disappointment. Enjoy your pajamas and your Memphis shirt you need and deserve these little perks so that you can enjoy a new normal

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@mamacita

Hi, @gingerw , yes, I think one of the good old home remedies is something I should try. Allergic to cammomile, unfortunately. But I have oats! When some Auties ( like me) are stressed out with sickness and uncertainty, we tend to either melt down or go into hibernation. Being a Psychology major, former Social Worker, and presently a Pastoral Counselor, I have so many options available in my head.

So I counsel myself. I am cheap. I listen. And I encourage myself to follow through with what works to make me feel better.

Just having this "table" to come to where I am accepted and heard means the world to me. Finding out you are Autistic after living so much of one's life thinking you are a failure, is an answered prayer. It is freedom. It is a day of jubilee. Blessings, love, and light to all who enter here!

Mamacita

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@mamacita I hope this finds you feeling better every day. I know that it is difficult to forgive a primary care doctor to miss something as serious as shingles. We just don't want to doubt them do we? I have been away from the internet for a few days, was able to read partial posts but could not respond to anybody. I hope that today is a better day than yesterday for you. Each day can be a challenge or a struggle or a joy. It seems that we have power to make it one or the other; sometimes it's just one little change to make a difference. Please be gentle on yourself and know that we are here around the Cyber table holding your spot for you!
Ginger

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@teresa, Volunteer Mentor, I have my ups,and downs but it is all getting back to where I need to be. Self-care, reading, cooking, listening to music.....All of these things help me get back to my New normal.

I easily forgive my PCP for not catching the Shingles evident on my head. Most people don't experience them there. And He probably underestimated my pain level. Folliculitis would not have been that painful, I believe.

I started reading this morning about the needs of the family affected by addiction. Yesterday I was open with my daughter and told her exactly why I didn't call her or want to come by to see her. It was rough, but I think I did the right thing.

I am so glad April is almost over. I am of the "Autism Acceptance " Month persuasion, rather than the "Autism Awareness" Month folks. I prefer to "Light It Up Red" rather than to "Light It Up Blue."

The main difference between the two schools of thought from my perspective is this: All of us need to be made aware that Autism is not a disease, a disorder, and it cannot be " cured" by such cruel tactics as bleach enemas, aversion therapy, or electroshock therapy. It is strictly a different wiring system of the brain, present at birth. We are more alike than different, and we have a right to be here.

We will talk more later. Going to rest my eyes for a minute. And I do love you better than my luggage.

Mamacita

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@mamacita

@teresa, Volunteer Mentor, I have my ups,and downs but it is all getting back to where I need to be. Self-care, reading, cooking, listening to music.....All of these things help me get back to my New normal.

I easily forgive my PCP for not catching the Shingles evident on my head. Most people don't experience them there. And He probably underestimated my pain level. Folliculitis would not have been that painful, I believe.

I started reading this morning about the needs of the family affected by addiction. Yesterday I was open with my daughter and told her exactly why I didn't call her or want to come by to see her. It was rough, but I think I did the right thing.

I am so glad April is almost over. I am of the "Autism Acceptance " Month persuasion, rather than the "Autism Awareness" Month folks. I prefer to "Light It Up Red" rather than to "Light It Up Blue."

The main difference between the two schools of thought from my perspective is this: All of us need to be made aware that Autism is not a disease, a disorder, and it cannot be " cured" by such cruel tactics as bleach enemas, aversion therapy, or electroshock therapy. It is strictly a different wiring system of the brain, present at birth. We are more alike than different, and we have a right to be here.

We will talk more later. Going to rest my eyes for a minute. And I do love you better than my luggage.

Mamacita

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@mamacita Do cool compresses bring any relief to your eyes? Or, perhaps, chilled eye drops?
Year's ago, when with an ex, I was involved in the family group part of an addiction recovery center. It was what I needed, and helped me understand a lot. But just as in domestic violence situations, there are people involved with addicts who cannot see or understand how to live your own life. I continue to see that in some parts of my life, people that I come in contact with and it's difficult.
Rest easy. Together we are mighty.
Ginger

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@gingerw

@mamacita Do cool compresses bring any relief to your eyes? Or, perhaps, chilled eye drops?
Year's ago, when with an ex, I was involved in the family group part of an addiction recovery center. It was what I needed, and helped me understand a lot. But just as in domestic violence situations, there are people involved with addicts who cannot see or understand how to live your own life. I continue to see that in some parts of my life, people that I come in contact with and it's difficult.
Rest easy. Together we are mighty.
Ginger

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Dearest@gingerw, yes, I do use cool compresses on my eyes, as well as my head. At its worst, I sheepishly wore a frozen bag of green beans to cool off the fires of shingles! It worked!

Rain again today. So much for planting May flowers. At least the flower beds will be ready for planting tomorrow, if time permits. Still working on Marie Kondo style uncluttering.. More reading and studying to do.

Still trying to wrap my head around the whole subject of addiction and recovery in the context of family dynamics. The book I am reading is helpful. I still don't know how to relate to someone who is in denial even when the facts are right there.

On a less serious note, watching Star Trek - the Next Generation is a wonderful way to avoid reality . If only for a little while. Hubster is a science fiction buff.

Good night, sleep tight. Tomorrow is a better day!

Mamacita

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@mamacita

Dearest@gingerw, yes, I do use cool compresses on my eyes, as well as my head. At its worst, I sheepishly wore a frozen bag of green beans to cool off the fires of shingles! It worked!

Rain again today. So much for planting May flowers. At least the flower beds will be ready for planting tomorrow, if time permits. Still working on Marie Kondo style uncluttering.. More reading and studying to do.

Still trying to wrap my head around the whole subject of addiction and recovery in the context of family dynamics. The book I am reading is helpful. I still don't know how to relate to someone who is in denial even when the facts are right there.

On a less serious note, watching Star Trek - the Next Generation is a wonderful way to avoid reality . If only for a little while. Hubster is a science fiction buff.

Good night, sleep tight. Tomorrow is a better day!

Mamacita

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@mamacita First we take care of ourselves, like when an oxygen mask drops from the overhead in an airplane. Then we reach out to the next person, be they family member or not. My ex was in denial, his career on the line, our marriage on the skids. But unless there is willingness from the addict to help themselves, it doesn't work. We have to learn to "let go with love", which is never easy, but the thing that keeps us from going down also.

Ah, flower beds ready for your ministrations with fresh plants, seeds, and digging in the dirt. A better salve for the soul can rarely be found!

Easy on yourself. We care, and as you say, together we are mighty!
Ginger

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@mamacita

Dearest@gingerw, yes, I do use cool compresses on my eyes, as well as my head. At its worst, I sheepishly wore a frozen bag of green beans to cool off the fires of shingles! It worked!

Rain again today. So much for planting May flowers. At least the flower beds will be ready for planting tomorrow, if time permits. Still working on Marie Kondo style uncluttering.. More reading and studying to do.

Still trying to wrap my head around the whole subject of addiction and recovery in the context of family dynamics. The book I am reading is helpful. I still don't know how to relate to someone who is in denial even when the facts are right there.

On a less serious note, watching Star Trek - the Next Generation is a wonderful way to avoid reality . If only for a little while. Hubster is a science fiction buff.

Good night, sleep tight. Tomorrow is a better day!

Mamacita

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Hang in there, @mamacita. Shingles are no picnic - I may have mentioned that I had them personally, maybe 4 years ago. The doctor actually discovered mine when looking at a cyst on my back. So, I got to experience some of the ugliness of the shingles, but probably tempered due to being treated on the early side. I am empathizing with your discomfort and the fires of shingles.

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@lioness

@mamacita Did you find out what the gunshots where ? Hope your safe

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@lioness, I drove around the neighborhood, searching for that yellow tape police put around a crime scene. None to be found.

I do know that there is a couple who live on one of the streets behind us who fight and have the police come out all the time. Our newspaper here never tells all the information on any given subject. So I didn't even bother to pick one up.

It has made me nervous just thinking about guns being fired so close to where we live. Trying to calm down and not make any more of it than what it is. But I'll tell you one thing. My doors will be locked at all times.

Just going to do the best I can to stay safe and aware. Love you lots!

Mamacita

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@lisalucier

Hang in there, @mamacita. Shingles are no picnic - I may have mentioned that I had them personally, maybe 4 years ago. The doctor actually discovered mine when looking at a cyst on my back. So, I got to experience some of the ugliness of the shingles, but probably tempered due to being treated on the early side. I am empathizing with your discomfort and the fires of shingles.

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@Lisa Lucier, Connect Moderator, good evening! Thank you for commenting on my post! I believe I do see the light at the end of the tunnel.

As soon as I can safely do so, I will take the Shingles vaccine. Perhaps this will be my first and last experience with Shingles.

It is certainly a very humbling disease. Open sores, itchy spots, and flaky skin....reminds me of lepers in the Bible. "Unclean, unclean!"

Hopefully I have learned a bit more compassion for those who have to deal with this horrid condition.

If I have, it's been worth it. Have a great weekend, my friend. See you again soon.
Mamacita

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Hello, good Sunday morning, all my Spectrummy peeps. Posts will be short but sweet today. Question. If you are on the Spectrum, have your meltdowns/burnouts gotten better or worse as you have gotten older? Why or why not, do you think?

Enjoy this beautiful day.

Mamacita

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