1. < Depression & Anxiety

Long-term depression

Posted by seeker70 @seeker70, Oct 11, 2017

I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I"m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: 'why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude'. Or they don't hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: 'what do you have to be depressed about?' Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a 'why', not is it a 'choice'. It's almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that's what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don't want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it's harder and harder to 'push depression down' once it's popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy - but as I said, it's not a 'why'. I'm looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it's just me and there's no one else who feels this way -- 😉 Thank you for reading all this.

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padraig | @padraig | Feb 15, 2018

I have suffered from depression since 1988. I am now 59 years old. My GP treated me for many years with varying degrees of success. Looking back now he should have sent me to a psychiatrist for treatment. I had to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital in 2011 for a major depressive episode. Initially I was being treated for anxiety. The team in the hospital decided to focus more on the depression aspect of my illness. My GP would have always said that the anxiety was the outward symptom of my depression. I did not need Xanax to treat the anxiety element of my depression. After two months the doctors decided to try ECT and change my melds to SNRIs. The results were amazing. I knew this treatment had worked for me. I know there is a lot of controversy with ECT. I was discharged shortly afterwards.
When I came home I made contact with a clinical psychologist. I attended the psychologist for the next year every fortnight . We used CBT and Mindfulness as our main tools to aid me in my recovery.
Never give up hope. I never thought that I would ever feel the way that I am currently feeling.

REPLY
8 replies
Parus | @parus | Feb 15, 2018

@padraig Thank you for sharing a positive result with depression. What a wonderful report!

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Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Feb 15, 2018
In reply to @padraig "I have suffered from depression since 1988. I am now 59 years old. My GP treated..." + (show)
@padraig

I have suffered from depression since 1988. I am now 59 years old. My GP treated me for many years with varying degrees of success. Looking back now he should have sent me to a psychiatrist for treatment. I had to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital in 2011 for a major depressive episode. Initially I was being treated for anxiety. The team in the hospital decided to focus more on the depression aspect of my illness. My GP would have always said that the anxiety was the outward symptom of my depression. I did not need Xanax to treat the anxiety element of my depression. After two months the doctors decided to try ECT and change my melds to SNRIs. The results were amazing. I knew this treatment had worked for me. I know there is a lot of controversy with ECT. I was discharged shortly afterwards.
When I came home I made contact with a clinical psychologist. I attended the psychologist for the next year every fortnight . We used CBT and Mindfulness as our main tools to aid me in my recovery.
Never give up hope. I never thought that I would ever feel the way that I am currently feeling.

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@padraig

I see this is your first post on Connect, welcome! I am Teresa, a volunteer mentor with Connect.

I appreciate your post. It is a good example of how sometimes it just takes a while to put together the right combination of professionals as well as meds. I appreciate your persistence in finding answers.

I am happy to hear that you are doing so much better. I look forward to your posts in the future.

Teresa

REPLY
choppy | @choppy | Feb 15, 2018
In reply to @charlie75 "Hi Sharlynn62, I've read the sharing between you and others in our group. I've been depressed..." + (show)
@charlie75

Hi Sharlynn62,
I've read the sharing between you and others in our group. I've been depressed for so many times that it became a comfortable space for me to occupy as I knew where I was and what was happening. I learned to feel the pain and continued to function after several years of suffering. I would put on my actors face and go out into the world and fool those around me although I was crying inside. My Father would tell me that I was my worse enemy. I was so sick that I didn't understand. Of all the lessons that I've learned is that once I accept my illness, I have been able to work on the illness by people who are willing to help me recover. These people are professionals and others who share the same sicknesses and hope is instilled. I've learned that acceptance and hope are two verbs that require action on my part. Action helps with optimism and optimism brings me out of my depression. I have no idea what your mental diagnosis is and the medications you take. Hopefully, your Doctor can help you with this portion of treatment. The best to you.
charlie75

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Hello every one I\'m new to this site I suffer from e u personality disorder anxiety and depression I\'m just wondering if anyone else has been put on quitiepine

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kdo0827 | @kdo0827 | Feb 15, 2018
In reply to @charlie75 "Hi Sharlynn62, I've read the sharing between you and others in our group. I've been depressed..." + (show)
@charlie75

Hi Sharlynn62,
I've read the sharing between you and others in our group. I've been depressed for so many times that it became a comfortable space for me to occupy as I knew where I was and what was happening. I learned to feel the pain and continued to function after several years of suffering. I would put on my actors face and go out into the world and fool those around me although I was crying inside. My Father would tell me that I was my worse enemy. I was so sick that I didn't understand. Of all the lessons that I've learned is that once I accept my illness, I have been able to work on the illness by people who are willing to help me recover. These people are professionals and others who share the same sicknesses and hope is instilled. I've learned that acceptance and hope are two verbs that require action on my part. Action helps with optimism and optimism brings me out of my depression. I have no idea what your mental diagnosis is and the medications you take. Hopefully, your Doctor can help you with this portion of treatment. The best to you.
charlie75

Jump to this post

Welcome to our group. I also suffer with anxiety and depression. I just started on Remeron and Lexapro. I\'ve not tried Quetipine. I\'m not familiar with e u. What does this mean?

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Kami Johnson | @johnsonk | Feb 15, 2018

I too, have suffered from the Big D for many years including years before diagnosis when I thought I was just moody. No matter what I try or do, the clouds come and my mind convinces me of all that I fear is true. Truly the only thing that really helps me is that I finally have a diagnosis, I believe it to be true, and I have finally come to terms with it and the fact that I will always have it. Surrendering to it is somehow, strangely, helpful. I certainly do wish it was otherwise, but it is not, so I use what Ive learned in therapy and make it through each day the best way I know how. Its not easy or often very pretty but it is what it is.

REPLY
choppy | @choppy | Feb 15, 2018
In reply to @charlie75 "Hi Sharlynn62, I've read the sharing between you and others in our group. I've been depressed..." + (show)
@charlie75

Hi Sharlynn62,
I've read the sharing between you and others in our group. I've been depressed for so many times that it became a comfortable space for me to occupy as I knew where I was and what was happening. I learned to feel the pain and continued to function after several years of suffering. I would put on my actors face and go out into the world and fool those around me although I was crying inside. My Father would tell me that I was my worse enemy. I was so sick that I didn't understand. Of all the lessons that I've learned is that once I accept my illness, I have been able to work on the illness by people who are willing to help me recover. These people are professionals and others who share the same sicknesses and hope is instilled. I've learned that acceptance and hope are two verbs that require action on my part. Action helps with optimism and optimism brings me out of my depression. I have no idea what your mental diagnosis is and the medications you take. Hopefully, your Doctor can help you with this portion of treatment. The best to you.
charlie75

Jump to this post

Sorry emotional unstable personality disorder and I\'m also on sertraline 200 mg I\'ve just been weend off diazepam and put on quetiepine

REPLY
kdo0827 | @kdo0827 | Feb 15, 2018
In reply to @charlie75 "Hi Sharlynn62, I've read the sharing between you and others in our group. I've been depressed..." + (show)
@charlie75

Hi Sharlynn62,
I've read the sharing between you and others in our group. I've been depressed for so many times that it became a comfortable space for me to occupy as I knew where I was and what was happening. I learned to feel the pain and continued to function after several years of suffering. I would put on my actors face and go out into the world and fool those around me although I was crying inside. My Father would tell me that I was my worse enemy. I was so sick that I didn't understand. Of all the lessons that I've learned is that once I accept my illness, I have been able to work on the illness by people who are willing to help me recover. These people are professionals and others who share the same sicknesses and hope is instilled. I've learned that acceptance and hope are two verbs that require action on my part. Action helps with optimism and optimism brings me out of my depression. I have no idea what your mental diagnosis is and the medications you take. Hopefully, your Doctor can help you with this portion of treatment. The best to you.
charlie75

Jump to this post

Thanks! Hope you\'ll have great results. It\'s so hard to find something that works.

REPLY
donny67 | @donny67 | Feb 15, 2018

I SEEM TO FEEL JUST LIKE YOU ABOUT DEPRESSION ! LIKE YOU SAID GETTING OLDER SEEMS TO JUST MAKE IT WORSE. LIKE YOU SAID WHEN I WAS YOUNGER IT WASN\'T SO BAD. I AM 67 I WAS ALWAYS SINGLE GAY AND ALONE ! THIS PAST JUNE I HAD TO HAVE A SHUNT PUT IN MY HEAD TO DRAIN OFF EXCESS FLUIDS. ( IT\'S CALLED HYDROSEPHLIS.) IT HAS BEEN WORSE WITH THAT GOING ON ! I HAVE BEEN ON MEDS SINCE 1986. MAYBE THEY WERE WORKING BACK THEN AND THOUGH I STILL TAKE THEM I DON\'T THINK THEY ARE WORKING. MY PCP DR. SUGGESTED I GET ANOTHER OPINION, MY APPOINTMENT IS IN MARCH. I CAN\'T WAIT ! ( NOTHING TO LOSE ! )
WITH THE WHOLE WORLD GOING TO HELL ON A ROCKET THAT JUST ADDS TO THE MISERY !
I ALSO FEEL OVERWHELMED WITH JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING.
WHEN DOES IT END ? I AM NOT AT ALL SUICIDAL I JUST WISH IT WOULD ALL GO AWAY ! I JUST WANT TO BE REASONABLY HAPPY.
IT\'S EVEN BORING WRITING THIS. I DON\'T KNOW WHAT ANYONE COULD WRITE BACK THAT WOULD HELP, NOTHING TO LOSE
I GUESS.
I JUST FEEL EMPTY & CONFUSED AND SAD, SO SAD !
I AM NOT A BAD GUY AT ALL ! WHEN I WAS WORKING, ( ALCOHOL AND DRUG COUNSELOR ) THINGS WERE BETTER . I AM RETIRED NOW. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I AM VERY THANKFUL I HAVE A DOG !
HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON !

G

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2 replies
wrlaplante | @wrlaplante | Feb 15, 2018

Something that's helped me is sunlight, getting outside, walking the dog. It might take a while. If it helps think about a light for cloudy days. The dog will be happy.

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