How about a laugh, (hopefully)

One definition of old age is not being able to have a discussion without mentioning your health.

(I would have posted this earlier, but the arthritis in my knees in killing me!)

YouTube version:

@scottrl Loved it Scott and ain't that the truth!

My parrot never laughs at my jokes, but he does repeat them.

Doctor: "Is there a reason that your blood pressure should be so high?"
Patient: "Could the two hours I spent in the waiting room be the correlaton?"

When I was little, I didn't care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, I realize they didn't care either.

Why do lawns on the internet look so good?
Because they modem. 😄

I have to replace the bulb in the ceiling light, but I'm not looking forward to it.
I'll probably screw it up.

Cooking for a small household is an exercise in bad math. You cook a meal, and you end up with that awkward amount of leftovers. It’s not enough to be a second meal, but it’s too much to throw away. So you put it in a Tupperware container. You seal it up, you put it in the back of the fridge, and you whisper a little lie to yourself: "I'll eat that for lunch tomorrow." No, you won't. You just built a tiny plastic coffin for three tablespoons of pasta, and you’re going to let it grow a fur coat for two weeks until it’s legally old enough to throw itself out.

@seabright2001 'Tis better to light a single candle than to curse the burned-out bulb in a fixture that's out of reach.

@triciaot My parents, God love 'em, grew up in the Depression and would not throw away food.
Going through their refrigerator was an exercise in food archeology.
An aluminum-foil-wrapped hot dog old enough to vote. The heels of a loaf of bread dried out enough to be roof shingles. A nearly-empty jar of jelly of undecipherable content.

A gastronomic haunted house.

At the boss’ funeral, a disgruntled employee kneeled next to the coffin and whispered, “Who’s thinking outside the box now, Gary?”