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How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Jake @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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gravity3 | @gravity3 | 5 days ago

Cremation: my last best hope for a smokin' hot body.

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gravity3 | @gravity3 | 5 days ago

Overheard in a country ruled by a dictator
Citizen: What happened to freedom of speech in this country?

Dictator: Freedom of speech has always been guaranteed in this country. It is freedom after speech which we can’t guarantee

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gravity3 | @gravity3 | 5 days ago

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

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gravity3 | @gravity3 | 5 days ago

“For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow… but phone calls taper off.” — Johnny Carson

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gravity3 | @gravity3 | 5 days ago

Two men were fishing by a river when a hearse came slowly by.

One of the fishermen put down his rod, folded his hands in front of him and bowed his head as it passed.
Afterwards, when he had resumed fishing, his friend said, ‘Impressive! I didn’t know you were so respectful!’
‘Well, I was married to her for thirty years’ the other replied.

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Rubyslippers | @triciaot | 5 days ago
In reply to @scottrl "@seabright2001 'Tis better to light a single candle than to curse the burned-out bulb in a..." + (show)
Profile picture for Scott R L @scottrl

@seabright2001 'Tis better to light a single candle than to curse the burned-out bulb in a fixture that's out of reach.

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@scottrl
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb has to truly want to change.

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seabright2001 | @seabright2001 | 5 days ago
In reply to @triciaot "Cooking for a small household is an exercise in bad math. You cook a meal, and..." + (show)
Profile picture for Rubyslippers @triciaot

Cooking for a small household is an exercise in bad math. You cook a meal, and you end up with that awkward amount of leftovers. It’s not enough to be a second meal, but it’s too much to throw away. So you put it in a Tupperware container. You seal it up, you put it in the back of the fridge, and you whisper a little lie to yourself: "I'll eat that for lunch tomorrow." No, you won't. You just built a tiny plastic coffin for three tablespoons of pasta, and you’re going to let it grow a fur coat for two weeks until it’s legally old enough to throw itself out.

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@triciaot
Or, you put it in the freezer and wait for it to get freezer burn. Then you throw it away.

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Rubyslippers | @triciaot | 5 days ago
In reply to @seabright2001 "@triciaot Or, you put it in the freezer and wait for it to get freezer burn...." + (show)
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@triciaot
Or, you put it in the freezer and wait for it to get freezer burn. Then you throw it away.

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@seabright2001
It’s amazing how much space can be freed up when packages of unknown origin *food* items are tossed!

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covidstinks2023 | @covidstinks2023 | 3 days ago

There are so many scams on the internet now a days. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them!

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shmerdloff | @shmerdloff | 3 days ago
In reply to @scottrl "@triciaot My parents, God love 'em, grew up in the Depression and would not throw away..." + (show)
Profile picture for Scott R L @scottrl

@triciaot My parents, God love 'em, grew up in the Depression and would not throw away food.
Going through their refrigerator was an exercise in food archeology.
An aluminum-foil-wrapped hot dog old enough to vote. The heels of a loaf of bread dried out enough to be roof shingles. A nearly-empty jar of jelly of undecipherable content.

A gastronomic haunted house.

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@scottrl
Yes. But my mom of blessed memory couldn't stand all of that. So, spent hours in the fridge CONSOLIDATING, which meant putting veggies potatoes, meat loaf, chicken salad bread and dessert pudding into one big container.
Have to admit, it was delicious.
Too bad she taught it to my wife.
CLOSE THE REFRIDGERATOR!

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