Am I losing it too?

wtr2026, Please don't allow these small lapses in memory get to you. As if the stress of caring for a loved one isn't enough, it has to happen at a time in our lives when we are most likely entering that stage that is known as "age related memory loss". Based on your post, that you were looking for "assisted living", would lead me to believe that you are at least 50, or older. That is the age when these noticeable small memory problems begin to surface. You know; "where did I put the keys?" "Why did I come into this room?", "where did I park the car?", etc. It happens to all of us, I know - at 92, I've been dealing with it for a long time - as well as surviving the stress of caring for my wife, who suffered with dementia for more than six years. So please don't let these small, but bothersome, lapses of memory make you forget to maintain your health. The comments in your post reflect one who is well aware of what is needed to maintain your own health, which is paramount while caring for another. All the best to you and you husband,.

@carolreid I'm hoping it's because I now have to take care of everything for two people, instead of just one. I find myself saying "could you send me a quick note with the details?" when asked to do something, like meet someone's child at the bus stop.

@fred1 thank you so very much. When you were caring for your wife, what worked best for you in finding the time and discipline to maintain your health?

@wtr2026 The other thing to do, hopefully temporarily....because it can get under your skin really fast...is to immediately place important times and dates into your smart phone's calendar. I do that all the time. You'll get the appropriate reminder.
One other tip....put a 'nuther reminder in the calendar for the PREVIOUS day. You'll get that reminder and it'll be a prompt to get some things in place, such as printing out docs or whatever and placing them in your car/wallet/purse/carry bag.

Tip #3 - if it's not already set up for you, have your calendar alert you of the appointment at least 30 minutes ahead of the appointed rendezvous or action by you. If you need more time, enable more time when you make the booking in your calendar.

This works very well...until your lapsing memory makes you forget you have an appointment and you call their office to ask if you can set one up. They'll politely remind you that you already have an appointment...in November....in my case, it's this coming January. Yes, I felt like the horse's arse. 😀

@wtr2026, I only hope that my little input will help you deal with the tasks ahead. As to how I dealt with maintaining my health - at my age, it was mostly luck I suppose. However, what I did do, as I always did, was to follow the routine I was accustomed to after 22 years in the military - kept up with the necessary shots (Flu & Covid), and had an annual flight physical. The time was no problem, because I had/have framily on whom I could/can call on when I needed to leave the house. Of course everyone is different when it comes to our health - so my advice to you is to just be aware of possible illnesses or infections and have them taken care of ASAP . If you're the sole caregiver, your health is paramount. As I've said frequently - you have take care of yourself, if you want to take care of your LO. Good luck and wishing you all the best.

@fred1 It's so easy to let the weeks, months, and even years drift by and feeling well and functioning well, but suddenly you feel differently. You consult a physician who orders diagnostics, and next you know you've got a terminal illness that could have been forestalled two years earlier.

Taking care of yourself first. This is the logic behind the in-flight instructions to 'In the event of an emergency where we lose cabin pressure, don your own mask first before assisting those around you...' Including young children accompanying you who depend on you to be 'helpful' and 'with it.'

@judimahoney

You are a wonderful person, Judi--always ready to help everyone; and believe me, we appreciate your support, generosity and guidance. Happy Birthday, and Happy Anniversary. We celebrate you, "war buddy!"

Best,
George's Wife

@wtr2026 I single out @wtr2026 because of their post, but my response is to add on to the thread in this "Am I losing it too." I've told many of you this before. I promise I will never mention my issues again. There are days I am so scattered, I can't even think straight. Hence, losing it. From being hacked by scammers into our bank accounts and credit cards, followed by four months of AC issues in our house (or so we thought), my husband's MCI diagnosis the day we moved out of our house for MOLD, racing to cram everything even the junk into 7 storage units followed by 3-month hotel stays, a house rental, then a move out 8 days later (for more mold), another to another rental we're in now, to a full remodel for a year now, of our existing house to finish and sell ......that and caregiving is the PTSD @judimahoney talks about. Along with yet another stressor, a PC with an operating system problem, and now dealing with a technology replacement. So, YES, we can absolutely become forgetful when our bodies are in fight or flight, called overload. Chronic stress and high adrenaline change how our brain processes things. And for me I've had gi issues, infections, hair loss, and the like. So, I agree with every post above and @gloaming "routinize" sensible approach, to try to stay as organized as you can in all this confusion. I read that our brain prioritizes immediate survival over remembering where we left our keys. Why the need to "routinize" is key, and what I'm doing. I've taken to Box Breathing, when I get like this in, (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4 hold for 4. I also try to write down everything I need to remember. I have manilla folder piles everywhere, but in routine piles. That's the best I can do right now. That and to all of you out there who've helped me: I did purchase a wig. I just couldn't go through all of this hell looking that bad.
Best, Karla

@georgescraftjr George's Wife, our online buddy. I saw your post this morning and lit up. I'm glad to see you back online! We've missed you in our daily threads!
Best, Karla

I felt that way yesterday! Forgot groceries in the car because I rushed in the house because we had a visitor! Seems there is so much to do, since you are thinking for two people. Seems like I’m living with a guest in my house sometimes, he rarely takes an active role or sees what needs to be done. It’s exhausting both mentally and physically. I’m looking forward to moving to a CCRC when it’s available. This situation is tough and we must give ourselves grace as maneuver through this new life!