Need to vent over scams and taking advantage of the vulnerable

@wctdoc1943 How very sad.....but you sound like my kinda guy; involved, vigilant, caring, unswerving in your loyalty to her and to your relationship, and willing to do the heavy lifting when needs be. Good for you!

I'm sorta there with my wife. She depends a lot on me due to her various conditions, not least of which are two recent falls, one resulting in a broken wrist, the second three days ago where she broke her humerus....and nothing humerous about it...at all. Fortunately, she has been 'good' lately, engaged, energetic, not quite so beset as in the past two years with aches and pains. But she does know to come to me for unusual events on line where she feels she needs to act, or is being pressed to. My oft-repeated rule for her is to tell the caller that she will call the purported institution/amazon/whateveritis directly herself, and to promptly hang up. No use in extending the conversation, and she knows to end it immediately that way. Had to run over to my dad's place ten years ago the same afternoon I had migrated his laptop to Win10. He got a scam call from 'Microsoft Services' saying they noticed he had a virus. He had actually already given them remote access when he called. I'm a long distance runner, and I literally ran all the way to his place a few blocks away. He had hung up per my instructions, and force-stopped his laptop. They called just as I entered their apartment. Told them to buzz off, and to not call again. Ran a malwarebytes scan just in case and his computer was squeaky clean. Whew!

@jenniferkr
How do you restrict calls to contacts only?

@gloaming We are their advocates and protectors. She sometimes thinks I am controlling (well, I am) but it is always in her (and our) best interest. And this is a non-sequitor, but I find it amazing that she has difficulty using the TV remote but can still operate her vehicle and find her way to and from her beauty salon once every 5 weeks (the only place she drives).

Thanks for your comments.

@wctdoc1943 How very sad.....but you sound like my kinda guy; involved, vigilant, caring, unswerving in your loyalty to her and to your relationship, and willing to do the heavy lifting when needs be. Good for you!

I'm sorta there with my wife. She depends a lot on me due to her various conditions, not least of which are two recent falls, one resulting in a broken wrist, the second three days ago where she broke her humerus....and nothing humerous about it...at all. Fortunately, she has been 'good' lately, engaged, energetic, not quite so beset as in the past two years with aches and pains. But she does know to come to me for unusual events on line where she feels she needs to act, or is being pressed to. My oft-repeated rule for her is to tell the caller that she will call the purported institution/amazon/whateveritis directly herself, and to promptly hang up. No use in extending the conversation, and she knows to end it immediately that way. Had to run over to my dad's place ten years ago the same afternoon I had migrated his laptop to Win10. He got a scam call from 'Microsoft Services' saying they noticed he had a virus. He had actually already given them remote access when he called. I'm a long distance runner, and I literally ran all the way to his place a few blocks away. He had hung up per my instructions, and force-stopped his laptop. They called just as I entered their apartment. Told them to buzz off, and to not call again. Ran a malwarebytes scan just in case and his computer was squeaky clean. Whew!

@wctdoc1943 I find it amazing and frustrating how my husband complains and tells me all things that he is having trouble with but when he talks to people including his doctor manages to completely convince them he is doing great. Or how he messes up his phone and the tv all the time, we also had to open a new checking because he got scammed by a PCH scam. but can go out and trim branches, still volunteers once a week. It’s exhausting trying to figure out what or how he will be day to day.

@judimahoney we both have iPhones and it is in settings under Focus. Select do not disturb and there is a place to allow selected contacts to ring thru. Other numbers will show up in recent but will not ring. At first my husband would ask me about the recent calls, like did we know someone is some state intending to call them back. Now he just deletes the number. I search these things out to explain how to do step by step

My husband saw/read the same thing about Bill Gates. I told him immediately that it was his old news and nothing to get excited about. He is pretty good about listening to me about scams and phishing - I wish he listened to a lot more that I say!!

And he does not even admit that he has cognitive problems…
We have been through so many things mentioned in your reactions and comments.

It is difficult to have to take control and do things he once did - but I think deep down he knows he is not capable.

That - or else his mind forgets and he moves on to a different subject or adventure…
Maybe his new nickname should be Hopalong - the way he moves on from one thing to another.
We have spent tens of thousands of our retirement savings on his illness, buying fiascos, personal trainers, gym memberships, and other medical related things.

He does not understand that is why I cannot retire. And he is mad at me for working.

I could go on for hours, but work is calling. Peace to all of you.

@kayco I have my credit cards all send me a notice when any charge is made. It comes as a text or an email and has been very helpful also put a charge limit on the one card my husband uses.