My dad has to have open heart surgery. I'm so scared!

Posted by Loumac @loumac, Aug 25, 2017

Hi my name is Louis and I never thought that I would be on a site like this or even sharing my feelings. But many so scared and nervous and I have to be strong for my sisters and mom but don't know how to be. Is my dad going to make it? One day he's good and the next he has to have open heart. Just last night he was suppose to get a stint put on but after 8 hours they came to a conclusion that it won't fix the problem. I never knew there was a problem a week ago. I don't know how to think or what to do? Any advice and encouragement would be appreciated.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Heart & Blood Health Support Group.

I hope my family doesn't come across this post as I'm suppose to be the strong one.

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@loumac, If your Dad is having just Bypass surgery than don't stress even though this is surgery. I had had stents and ~10 years later another problem came up. We planned on more stents but when I woke up the MD said there were too many arteries involved and a bypass was necessary. Asked when I wanted to do it, I said,"right now". Well it had to be scheduled and I ended up with 7 bypasses. I have watched these surgeries and they can be quite routine and these are highly skilled doctors. And tell your Dad this is no excuse to set around. I cycle M<W<F about 30 miles/day.

Relax and the best for your Dad and Family

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Louis, @loumac, I want you to relax and focus on me and what I have to say for a few minutes. You clearly are a strong young man. You reached out to us in this Connect fellowship of Mayo Clinic, and that took some strength and commitment and determination. You're looking for some crucial information and confidence in your dad's doctors.

I have no access to information about your dad's medical situation, so I can't give you any diagnosis or prediction of what medical steps will unfold in the days ahead. But I can assure you that hundreds of open-heart surgery procedures are performed every day with almost perfect record of survival. Doctors and hospitals and their surgical support teams know what they are doing. And they also know about your concerns and those of your mother and sisters for good information about what is going on with your dad's heart. If you can, you need to talk to them on a man-to-doctor basis about what they have found and how they will deal with it.

I will make some guesses, based on what you told us in your first message to us. You mentioned that your dad was being examined for treatment by insertion of a stent, which is a way of opening up a coronary artery that has become narrowed or blocked. A stent can keep the artery open so fresh blood has ready access to a heart muscle. Sometimes, however, arteries are blocked in a place where a stent isn't enough, for example at a junction of two or three arteries or if doctors find a second artery blocked. In such cases, the solution might be a "coronary bypass" to replace the artery complex with a short piece of an artery from elsewhere in the body. It is not unusual for open-heart surgery to be necessary for doing a coronary bypass.

You might learn more about open-heart surgery from this website: http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/coronary-bypass-surgery/home/ovc-20166007. I selected this reference based on my guesses about your dad's situation, so you should use this information as the basis for your questions to be answered by your dad's doctors -- not as the gospel on his situation.

Can you arrange to meet with the doctors -- not by yourself, but with your mom AND, preferably, a friend or other family member -- someone who can help you keep track of what the doctors say and point up other questions arising from what the doctors tell you? The information they provide will lift your spirits and give you confidence in their expertise, their commitment, and their concern for your dad and for you and your mom and your sisters.

When you have time, give us an update and feel free to ask us anything that comes to your mind. We're here for you, because we've been where you are and understand. Martin

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Hello @loumac,

I'd also like to extend a warm welcome; we're so glad you've joined us. And even more so, as you've already connected with @downhillbob and @predictable who speak from experience.

There are quite a number of Connect members who can share their experiences with heart surgery and recovery. I’m tagging @jackj @uncbball @contender1 @jc2buds @callalily74 @yarrum @michael123 @callalily74 @broncomom @ronbee @thankful @cynaburst @lyndamm to please join this conversation.

@loumac, we sincerely appreciate that you've turned to the Connect community for support; asking for help doesn't make you less strong! Instead, I believe it shows you care, and want to learn as much as you can to help your dad.
We look forward to getting to know you. When is he scheduled to have the surgery?

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Louis, my heart goes out to you, I know what it's like to be a scared family member. But my husband- the patient- always reassured me "We WILL get through this" and we always have. In six months it will be a fading memory for you. Of course problems can happen but know that there have been thousands of open heart surgeries done with great results. When I was a new nurse in 1980, open heart surgery was new and just beyond experimental, now it is very common and doctors are very experienced and competent.
So learn as much as you can, do have a support person with you, and don't be reluctant to ask the doctors any of your questions or fears. Many good thoughts are being sent your way. Linda Libby, RN

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@kanaazpereira

Hello @loumac,

I'd also like to extend a warm welcome; we're so glad you've joined us. And even more so, as you've already connected with @downhillbob and @predictable who speak from experience.

There are quite a number of Connect members who can share their experiences with heart surgery and recovery. I’m tagging @jackj @uncbball @contender1 @jc2buds @callalily74 @yarrum @michael123 @callalily74 @broncomom @ronbee @thankful @cynaburst @lyndamm to please join this conversation.

@loumac, we sincerely appreciate that you've turned to the Connect community for support; asking for help doesn't make you less strong! Instead, I believe it shows you care, and want to learn as much as you can to help your dad.
We look forward to getting to know you. When is he scheduled to have the surgery?

Jump to this post

This all happened last night United when they were just putting a stint. Then they stopped proceeding because it must be to clogged I'm guessing. Then they kind of just sent him on his way. No appointments or anything. So toady him and my mom were suppose to make some calls. I think he wants to go to mayo and hope he does. But no appointments have been made yet. I'm scared to ask him! Lol. It must not have been too bad if they sent him home and are making him do all the work?

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@predictable

Louis, @loumac, I want you to relax and focus on me and what I have to say for a few minutes. You clearly are a strong young man. You reached out to us in this Connect fellowship of Mayo Clinic, and that took some strength and commitment and determination. You're looking for some crucial information and confidence in your dad's doctors.

I have no access to information about your dad's medical situation, so I can't give you any diagnosis or prediction of what medical steps will unfold in the days ahead. But I can assure you that hundreds of open-heart surgery procedures are performed every day with almost perfect record of survival. Doctors and hospitals and their surgical support teams know what they are doing. And they also know about your concerns and those of your mother and sisters for good information about what is going on with your dad's heart. If you can, you need to talk to them on a man-to-doctor basis about what they have found and how they will deal with it.

I will make some guesses, based on what you told us in your first message to us. You mentioned that your dad was being examined for treatment by insertion of a stent, which is a way of opening up a coronary artery that has become narrowed or blocked. A stent can keep the artery open so fresh blood has ready access to a heart muscle. Sometimes, however, arteries are blocked in a place where a stent isn't enough, for example at a junction of two or three arteries or if doctors find a second artery blocked. In such cases, the solution might be a "coronary bypass" to replace the artery complex with a short piece of an artery from elsewhere in the body. It is not unusual for open-heart surgery to be necessary for doing a coronary bypass.

You might learn more about open-heart surgery from this website: http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/coronary-bypass-surgery/home/ovc-20166007. I selected this reference based on my guesses about your dad's situation, so you should use this information as the basis for your questions to be answered by your dad's doctors -- not as the gospel on his situation.

Can you arrange to meet with the doctors -- not by yourself, but with your mom AND, preferably, a friend or other family member -- someone who can help you keep track of what the doctors say and point up other questions arising from what the doctors tell you? The information they provide will lift your spirits and give you confidence in their expertise, their commitment, and their concern for your dad and for you and your mom and your sisters.

When you have time, give us an update and feel free to ask us anything that comes to your mind. We're here for you, because we've been where you are and understand. Martin

Jump to this post

You hit it dead on, on what happened. I don't get why they just send him home with no appointments or anything. Just the bad news. So today he was suppose to find out where he wants it done. I'm hoping mayo. I just want the best of the best because he deserves that. He is healthy. Never smoked dissent drink. He was a col. in the air force and maybe that was stressful on him. He just retired not even a year ago.

REPLY
@predictable

Louis, @loumac, I want you to relax and focus on me and what I have to say for a few minutes. You clearly are a strong young man. You reached out to us in this Connect fellowship of Mayo Clinic, and that took some strength and commitment and determination. You're looking for some crucial information and confidence in your dad's doctors.

I have no access to information about your dad's medical situation, so I can't give you any diagnosis or prediction of what medical steps will unfold in the days ahead. But I can assure you that hundreds of open-heart surgery procedures are performed every day with almost perfect record of survival. Doctors and hospitals and their surgical support teams know what they are doing. And they also know about your concerns and those of your mother and sisters for good information about what is going on with your dad's heart. If you can, you need to talk to them on a man-to-doctor basis about what they have found and how they will deal with it.

I will make some guesses, based on what you told us in your first message to us. You mentioned that your dad was being examined for treatment by insertion of a stent, which is a way of opening up a coronary artery that has become narrowed or blocked. A stent can keep the artery open so fresh blood has ready access to a heart muscle. Sometimes, however, arteries are blocked in a place where a stent isn't enough, for example at a junction of two or three arteries or if doctors find a second artery blocked. In such cases, the solution might be a "coronary bypass" to replace the artery complex with a short piece of an artery from elsewhere in the body. It is not unusual for open-heart surgery to be necessary for doing a coronary bypass.

You might learn more about open-heart surgery from this website: http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/coronary-bypass-surgery/home/ovc-20166007. I selected this reference based on my guesses about your dad's situation, so you should use this information as the basis for your questions to be answered by your dad's doctors -- not as the gospel on his situation.

Can you arrange to meet with the doctors -- not by yourself, but with your mom AND, preferably, a friend or other family member -- someone who can help you keep track of what the doctors say and point up other questions arising from what the doctors tell you? The information they provide will lift your spirits and give you confidence in their expertise, their commitment, and their concern for your dad and for you and your mom and your sisters.

When you have time, give us an update and feel free to ask us anything that comes to your mind. We're here for you, because we've been where you are and understand. Martin

Jump to this post

@loumac, I think you're right that your dad is not in dire straits right now, so they sent him home. They would have kept him in the hospital if he were under treatment, but since that hasn't started, making plans for the next steps are better done in a home environment. Keep an eye on him, though, and take him back to the hospital if he has any significant symptoms.

My daughter's fiancé` had a similar experience about three months ago -- stent installed, then sent home to recover. Within 36 hours he was back in the hospital for open heart surgery. His heart was repaired, and he stayed five days. Within a few weeks, he was strong enough to go back to work. We had dinner with them last month, and he was his old self, ready to zoom off to the beach on his motorcycle.

On that web page I sent you the link for is a Mayo Clinic link to getting an appointment and information on how to do it. It's on the upper right of the first page on coronary bypass surgery. Phone numbers and all. Mayo staff who answer the phone can answer all questions about their services, your family's needs, where to go, and what to expect. Let me know if you need help with that.

Oh, one more thing. No better place to get your dad the world's best medical treatment and care. I grew up 60 miles from Rochester, Minnesota, and always felt I could live forever, because if I got sick, Mayo Clinic would fix me and put me back on the street.
Martin

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had open heart surgery 4 yr's ago went well no problems triple by pass , make sure you have a good Doctor .

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Welcome to Connect, @ribbo. Thank you so much for the insight; it's always so good, and much appreciated to hear from someone with similar experiences.
What brings you to the Connect community, @ribbo?

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