Disliking who they’ve become

@ocdogmom Oh! My that really helps. Thank goodness for mayo connect how would we ever know this? I just lost it again it has been just over two weeks since they did the skin graft from behind his ear to his nose for his skin cancer. I called the dr and they said I could take the bandage off and just use the aqua porh which is what I did until I noticed he is picking at the skin graft and I lost it, it makes me crazy it’s every night something happens and I can’t sleep. Tomorrow I am having a pelvic, abdomen and chest ct having had cancer 3 times I am always skeptical as I await the results. It’s amazing that my husbands blood tests always come out great it must be from the lupron and now the nubeqa pills his psa went to 0.09 amazing, and of course the great care he gets and the fact he has no stress? 😁. I desperately need some time alone, he is now yelling at me which is what my father did and the reason I left home. It took me years to stop shaking and I feel it returning?
I went to the senior day care today and picked up a package they have m-f 8-5pm. If they will allow it I may try one day a week but only for a few hours at the beginning. We tried it out for an hour before but his words as I left were are you abandoning me. It would feel great to be on my own for a while. Thank you so much again.

I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I'd really encourage you to talk with his doctor about medications to control this. My wife had some severe psychosis, paranoia, delusions, and agitation - it was awful. It took three hospitalizations to figure it all out - obviously best to avoid that. Once we found the right mix for her, it has been life changing for her and me and my daughters. My wife was always one of the most kind, gentle people - dementia agitation, etc., is *not*, clinically speaking, a revelation of who they really are. I'm not saying that some people were poor characters before their dementia, but dementia robs people of their choice - regardless of who they were. I *know* how you feel - it is near impossible to not take their words and actions as personal. Dementia can be like watching your loved one invaded by an alien.

Kitten and puppy videos

@ocdogmom Oh! My that really helps. Thank goodness for mayo connect how would we ever know this? I just lost it again it has been just over two weeks since they did the skin graft from behind his ear to his nose for his skin cancer. I called the dr and they said I could take the bandage off and just use the aqua porh which is what I did until I noticed he is picking at the skin graft and I lost it, it makes me crazy it’s every night something happens and I can’t sleep. Tomorrow I am having a pelvic, abdomen and chest ct having had cancer 3 times I am always skeptical as I await the results. It’s amazing that my husbands blood tests always come out great it must be from the lupron and now the nubeqa pills his psa went to 0.09 amazing, and of course the great care he gets and the fact he has no stress? 😁. I desperately need some time alone, he is now yelling at me which is what my father did and the reason I left home. It took me years to stop shaking and I feel it returning?
I went to the senior day care today and picked up a package they have m-f 8-5pm. If they will allow it I may try one day a week but only for a few hours at the beginning. We tried it out for an hour before but his words as I left were are you abandoning me. It would feel great to be on my own for a while. Thank you so much again.

@jeanadair123 I so hear you. My husband has had basal cell carcinomas for years, on his nose, cheeks, ears, forearms, thighs, everywhere the sun shines. Until recently he has been cognizant enough to understand that scratching, picking these areas is asking for an infection. Now he is no longer capable of processing that information. So it is a battle to keep the dressings and bandaids on.This last time the dermatologist said that he needed to remove another basal cell lesion, I really stopped and asked myself "why"? Basal cell carcinoma is a slow growing cancer that could stay just like it is for years. I question the ethics of having a procedure done on my husband that is not really urgent and that would not necessarily improve his quality of life. And there is the fact that with his dementia diagnosis he cannot give a valid informed consent. My husband is in bed all day and I doubt he is aware of where I am. I can leave him with our caregiver for a few hours but feel like I have to be back to monitor his blood sugar and insulin administration. I am grateful that I can get out as I know not everyone has the help to do this.
I too have problems getting to sleep. I can't seem to stop thinking of what I have to do the next day, how long this dementia caregiving is going to last. I am in this now for four years. The last year has been tough as he no longer talks to me other than one word answers. I am so lonely. Every once in a while I will get a smile but no hugs or kisses unless I initiate them.
I pray daily and ask God to give me the patience, courage and love to compete this journey.
I am sending you angels to help you through this really challenging time.