Earliest signs of decline?

@judimahoney - Your wonderful, practical solutions offered are appreciated more than you can know.

I don't know that this is possible to actually carry out under our circumstances, but - again - after dealing with rude, rushed staff and extensive miscommunications with personal care staff (if they communicate at all) - your practical, reasonable, "get-to-it" suggestion/s are so warmly appreciated - like an understanding hug!

I did have experience when my father was in the hospital recovering from his 10th (!?!) procedure to clean out his infected 8" spinal surgical wound that neurology did to insert a metal rod to support his bad back...but then neurology was so happy with their successful surgery, the rest was left to him, some hospital staff and us to deal with as he kept getting reinfected IN THE HOSPITAL. Apologies - I digress a bit...

But, he started wondering where he was, he couldn't talk much, he did NOT have cognitive issues, but this so scared me when I was visiting him that I had to wrangle hospital staff to attend to him or I was afraid he was having a stroke or lord only knows what was going on. It WAS a UTI. OMG.

We are expected to fill in the gaps, yet the medical professionals, as talented and capable as many are, leave a whole universe to be desired as far as attentive care, maintenance and appropriate follow-up. In my current state of mind (hugely frustrated, my questions talked over, impatient nurses not helpful, repeating information already known, but then asking "what medications ARE being given to your mother - ack?! What the ??) - in my current state of mind, I am sooooo tired of being asked questions that they should have the answers to right in front of them before they contact me, or any of us?

As an attorney, if I spoke so off-the-cuff about critical issues to a client on a repeated basis, like I didn't know what their case was about, I'd be subject to some darn unhappy clients, and a poor reputation as a professional. But I don't do that, and neither should these medical personnel, and if they DO, it should have professional consequences.

I'll leave it all at that for now. But I am fairly certain I am not alone in this kind of disjointed, uninformed and casually-treated serious medical situation.

My best to all of us out there trying, and trying, and trying...

@shmerdloff

@shmerdloff - Oops?!

Was there a word and/or phrase to appear at the top of the inserted image you provided?

@brandysparks This may be obvious but have you tried having your Mother wear adult diapers like Depends? It could convince her that she is not wet because the sheets would stay dry and the Adult diapers wouldn’t smell. I actually used the diapers for almost 2 weeks myself because I had total knee replacement and couldn’t walk to the bathroom in time. There is no shame in using them.

@marilynt - Thank you so much.

Mom does wear the Poise overnight pads (8s), but is still almost obsessive about insisting things are wet. There is a term to describe it medically, & it has to do with nerve misfirings due to cognitive decline. But I don't know if that's what's going on, & the Dr. is not available to discuss now.
Thanks again.

@brandysparks
Hi, I hate to go beyond her doctor's professional opinion not to get checked for a UTI, however they are so very common in the elderly, especially ones with dementia.
When she's in a good mood can you cajole her to pee in a clean cup with a lid, then you go to urgent care, maybe stating it's for you but you want her along for support, then offer the sample once there? I'm trying to think of a work-around for you.
Maybe you can put some sort of urine catcher cup device in the toilet bowl when she's urinating so you can more easily get the sample?
UTI's are such bad news for folks with dementia. My mom who had Alzheimers used to get them frequently. One time she was speaking in tongues, nothing coming out of her mouth made sense. After a trip to the emergency room it was indeed a UTI.
Good luck to you!

@judimahoney - If your loved one is getting physical care, such as wiping the lady parts, they may be doing it from back to front which is a major cause of UTI's. I ran into this personally in a nursing home after cancer treatment and would have to stop caretakers from doing it that way when I couldn't do for myself. This is info for all women, dementia or fully self caring, who don't know to ALWAYS wipe front to back. Bacteria from the digestive tract is not meant to come into contact with vagina because the urethra is right there and some of the bacteria can "swim" right up it that short distance to the bladder. Loss of coherent thinking is a common sign of a UTI whether or not the person has dementia at some level to start with. I was trained as an RN and learned this a long time ago.