Alcohol is my vice too many evenings. I want to stop.

@ramjet1 try AA again , get a sponsor and go to a meeting everyday for 90 days. Then spend the rest of your life sooner and going to meetings. Increase your spiritual life it will help you. God bless

@ramjet Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! It takes guts to write out what you did, and post it. That shows to me you really would like to move forward with making changes.

What state of mind does drinking afford you? Is it a distraction? Is it boredom? What would you like to try you haven't done in a long time, or never have done but would be interested in trying? Is there a small group of people with a shared interest that you might like to try? Meeting at a local coffee shop or hamburger place a couple of times a week to "just talk" about anything?

If AA is not feeling comfortable for you, is there a spiritual practice or faith community that you would feel better in? Then try that. Are there Tai Chi Chuan classes in your town? Or check some online classes out on You Tube. Sometimes being able to talk about what is a challenge for you, with a few other people, face-to-face, is a good start. No judging, just sharing experiences. It isn't a "can you top this" kinda thing. Just honest conversation.

Do any of these sound doable to you?
Ginger

@ramjet, To start on a light note, would your full name be roger ramjet? I hope this doesn’t offend you but he was a favourite character from my childhood. I also enjoyed reading your post, you sound like someone who’s very much in control of your life and what you want, being deeply hurt by your ex wife divorcing you tells me that you’re not accustomed to failure, I’m not surprised that you have a weakness, anyone who has a history of achievement must certainly have some release somewhere. Unfortunately there’s a history in your family of alcoholism and it didn’t pass you by, however you are here to listen to possible options to take charge of this issue. If you’re not ready for a group meeting with others then a good therapist to talk with might be a better fit, given time and hopefully good results you can always try out a larger group to share with. I do feel confident that you will ultimately make the best decision and probably excel in this considering your history, best wishes.

Then just stop drinking. Thats it. Here's the deal. Society, family and friends have told us how hard it is to quit drinking. We've conditioned ourselves to believe we cant quit without help. We WANT to think that. It justifies our abuse. It tells ourselves, our actions are more justified because we have a disease. An addiction. An overwhelming urge to drink alcohol. Its not that we intentionally lie to ourselves. Its the alcoholic part of our mind that accepts this fallacy in order to defend its existence. And fallacy is what it truely is.
I drank warm vodka, from the top shelf of my closet, for years. More than a fifth a day. Rarely did I keep it frozen or mix it, I had become addicted to the burn as I swallowed it. In 2020 I found myself suddenly disabled and in a wheelchair. I knew to face my new future I would have to be sober. I tried prayer. I even tried AA and but agree with that at all. Admitting one is powerless over themselves is not conducive to real recovery. Scratch step one. So I researched more programs. Smart Recovery. Annie Grace. Etc. I came to the conclusion that its not which program you chose. ITS WHETHER YOU HAVE CONVINCED YOURSELF, THE PROGRAM WILL WORK. Please pardon the caps. I decided to become my own program. December 5th, 2021, I quit drinking. I totally convinced myself alcohol was poison. That was extremely crucial. That alone ended all urges to drink. Ive never had a trigger. Why would I? I had convinced myself, all consumption of alcohol is poison. It was like flipping a switch. At stores when shopping, I take shortcuts through the liquor aisle. It doesn't bother me. There are no bottles with open mouths singing "Drink me Steve ".
I dont take those shortcuts for wheelchair access anymore. Last October I walked 36000 unassisted steps. 17 miles walking sober in one day.
I can do this because I have convinced myself that I can.
Be your program.
Motion is medicine.

I quit 12/16/17, after starting at 12 and 4 stints in Treatment. There is some good stuff people have shared here. Take it an hour, at a time if needed. Just tell yourself, for the next hour I am not drinking. I also utilize AA. My partner of 28 years, I found dead in the kitchen floor from alcoholism. That is a reality. He was 56. I also try and play the tape forward..."what if I did drink..." then I am flooded with the memories of not being able to stop, the shakes, the obsession. Thank you for sharing here! Hang in there.

Hi again Trooper.

Quitting drinking is just that - not drinking, by choice. To that I would add seeking help, like AA or other support systems.

Getting sober starts with the addict. Make a decision and ask for help and follow the advice given. It really does work.

Joe

Congrats DD for your perseverance and sobriety. Well done!

Joe

I know this sounds cliche but I had to hit rock bottom. Always told myself "it's only a couple drinks, I'll be fine". But one or two drinks were never enough. I always had an excuse to drink to oblivion on any occasion whether celebrating a birthday, promotion...or during the sad times wanting to numb life's pain. Then I got a DUI. Court fees, a suspended license, thousands of dollars to cover the cost of an attorney, etc. I was horribly ashamed. But now I am proud . Proud to be sober. I had to take a long hard look at my life and am now turning those regrets into beautiful experiences. I stopped cold turkey in Jan. of this year and haven't touched a drop since. Life is so much better now!! I get to experience true happiness and peace for the first time, after decades of drowning in sorrow living with heartache and a thick fog of regret. I tried to fool myself into believing booze was my friend.. sadly I've come to realize it was the devil on my shoulder. My physical health was deteriorating and siblings, parents and husband were being destroyed. Thank God I now am building back trust and my loved ones are slowly but surely learning to forgive the sick, old me. I can preach to you...Go to AA, get a sponser, read the Big Book but the reality is YOU HAVE TO WANT IT. WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND SOUL. If you don't you will continue to drink and live a miserable, lonely life. Choose peace. Choose Love. I wish you all the best.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time.
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as he did, the sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that he will make all things right
if I surrender to His will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
and supremely happy with Him forever.

@heyjoe415 Hi again. Awareness, interpretation, choice, action, then reinforcement.
The 5 steps of agency.
Through these 5 steps, internal locus of control is developed.
Through the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous, external locus of control is developed.
I didnt want that.
I wanted the off switch. Its there. All you have to do is find it.

I suggest checking yourself into a detox/rehab facility. Your health will be monitored and you'll be introduced to AA in rehab. You'll also make a lot of friends who will stay sober with you once rehab ends.

Joe