@ramjet Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! It takes guts to write out what you did, and post it. That shows to me you really would like to move forward with making changes.

What state of mind does drinking afford you? Is it a distraction? Is it boredom? What would you like to try you haven't done in a long time, or never have done but would be interested in trying? Is there a small group of people with a shared interest that you might like to try? Meeting at a local coffee shop or hamburger place a couple of times a week to "just talk" about anything?

If AA is not feeling comfortable for you, is there a spiritual practice or faith community that you would feel better in? Then try that. Are there Tai Chi Chuan classes in your town? Or check some online classes out on You Tube. Sometimes being able to talk about what is a challenge for you, with a few other people, face-to-face, is a good start. No judging, just sharing experiences. It isn't a "can you top this" kinda thing. Just honest conversation.

Do any of these sound doable to you?
Ginger