Agitation/Shadowing

Posted by ljchr @ljchr, 6 days ago

My DH is entering stage 6 of Vascular Dementia. He is beginning to get agitated at times and so far I have been able to redirect him. I fear that his agitation will progress. I wanted opinions on medication for agitation. Our PCP said that the meds could progress him faster. I hate to give him anything to escalate this disease.

He is mildly hyper-sexual but very clingy and shadows me everywhere I go. My fear is how much worse this could get.

Any experience with these types of medications will be appreciated.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

Profile picture for kjc48 @kjc48

@georgescraftjr I'm now laughing over your post, although my corrupt operating system, pales in comparison to your caregiving George, 4 toilets, two roofs, a desktop, laptop, cell phone, bills, investment accounts and contractors for even bats! Please know you wouldn't have had time for sex even if that had happened! And yes, when I asked the gal at Best Buy why the PC was so expensive, she said "tariffs." @judimahoney agrees she wants a care/wife too! We're all in this together. Best, Karla

Jump to this post

@kjc48

Remember the good old days
when we would have made time for a fling?
Now, my left hand is swollen and my arm, in a sling.
These days, only Mayo porn can make one's heart sing.
(I am dripping with crepey skin, and you, your hair is thin.)

P.S. Thanks for being so generous with your encouragement. I'll bet you never think of this dementia journey as a living hell, which it is for many of us. With you, the messy aspects of dementia become food for thought, which you turn into literary delights for all of us. You are so full of love. That's why you have impressive culinary skills--an art form, like love-making.

REPLY
Profile picture for kjc48 @kjc48

@judimahoney I love that. I can always count on you to come up with THE BEST ideas...and ones that lead me into a chuckle when I read them. Okay, so last night was hotter than hell! The AC stopped working in the rental. You would have thought my husband was sitting in a fire with two fans on his body that he claimed still didn't work. Of course with no logic and reasoning, he couldn't muster the ceiling fan remote, and I needed an MBA to figure out how to get that fan on. Dementia Summer Camp, camp counsellors to help figure things out, Caregiver wives, all sound so good to me. great to me. I guess for now, just you guys on this site, is just what I need this morning. Thanks for your post this morning. Best, Karla

Jump to this post

@kjc48

Karla,

I just read your message addressed to Judi, after I posted something that I hope will make you and Judi smile. Sorry that your AC stopped working in your rental. Mine just stopped working in my car! (I've been driving around trying to look on the bright side: At least, I have a car--and so much more for which to be thankful.)

Good morning everyone else,

In retrospect, I think the back-and-forth silly exchanges between us belong in this "Agitation/Shadowing" discussion. I am so agitated (last night was another one of those nights, and this morning was no better) that I am shadowing Karla's posts! On a more serious note, I visited a memory care facility. This morning, I made a Plan B because George still doesn't want to stay in our home.

REPLY
Profile picture for georgescraftjr @georgescraftjr

@kjc48

Remember the good old days
when we would have made time for a fling?
Now, my left hand is swollen and my arm, in a sling.
These days, only Mayo porn can make one's heart sing.
(I am dripping with crepey skin, and you, your hair is thin.)

P.S. Thanks for being so generous with your encouragement. I'll bet you never think of this dementia journey as a living hell, which it is for many of us. With you, the messy aspects of dementia become food for thought, which you turn into literary delights for all of us. You are so full of love. That's why you have impressive culinary skills--an art form, like love-making.

Jump to this post

@georgescraftjr OMG, you're a natural poet! The words just roll off your mouth...Mine too, on special days......

"Our gorgeous Lilly, you are such a delightful dilly,
Take heed, everyone knows you, are this wonderous, worldly delight,
No matter what you do, you persevere and stay in George's dementia fight
Your goodness too, always shines through in all you write, say and do.

I may not have traveled this dementia plight as long as so many others,
But the love you describe, looks on the bright side - a quintessential Mother.
Yes, I get agitated, fearful and feel scared and alone,
But you, and the rest of my Mayo Connect friends, my go-to treasured stones!

PS, the picture below (if I was able to upload it right) is me on the right side, when I had hair and danced the Paso Doble a few years ago at a fundraiser here in South Florida. I'm standing with my neighbor who is the one with dementia and is now on Hospice. God works in strange ways... it's like he prepared me for what was to come with my husband's MCI diagnosis last year. I remember reading all I could, so I knew how to talk to her, what to say, what not to say, and what to say to her husband who was in so much denial over her dementia. It's amazing what we glean from one another when we put ourselves out there.......
My best, Karla

REPLY
Profile picture for georgescraftjr @georgescraftjr

@kjc48

Karla,

I just read your message addressed to Judi, after I posted something that I hope will make you and Judi smile. Sorry that your AC stopped working in your rental. Mine just stopped working in my car! (I've been driving around trying to look on the bright side: At least, I have a car--and so much more for which to be thankful.)

Good morning everyone else,

In retrospect, I think the back-and-forth silly exchanges between us belong in this "Agitation/Shadowing" discussion. I am so agitated (last night was another one of those nights, and this morning was no better) that I am shadowing Karla's posts! On a more serious note, I visited a memory care facility. This morning, I made a Plan B because George still doesn't want to stay in our home.

Jump to this post

@georgescraftjr PS, I am SO GLAD you visited a memory care facility. Sometimes when Plan A doesn't work, Plan B sounds so good, especially when we plan..I find, just having a plan makes me feel so much better even if it never pans out. Best, Karla

REPLY
Profile picture for cyds @cyds

@judimahoney
Band Camp!!!!!! We all get the loudest instruments we can handle. Me???? Drums, Baby! Or shred on an electric guitar with the amp turned up to 11! Now, I have no musical ability or rhythm to speak of, so ear plugs are a must.

All are welcome - the more the merrier. We need a camp name… thoughts?

Jump to this post

@cyds
Camp Wishful Thinking?
Bang that drum and crank the amps!

REPLY
Profile picture for georgescraftjr @georgescraftjr

@kjc48

Remember the good old days
when we would have made time for a fling?
Now, my left hand is swollen and my arm, in a sling.
These days, only Mayo porn can make one's heart sing.
(I am dripping with crepey skin, and you, your hair is thin.)

P.S. Thanks for being so generous with your encouragement. I'll bet you never think of this dementia journey as a living hell, which it is for many of us. With you, the messy aspects of dementia become food for thought, which you turn into literary delights for all of us. You are so full of love. That's why you have impressive culinary skills--an art form, like love-making.

Jump to this post

@georgescraftjr Which one are you?

REPLY
Profile picture for georgescraftjr @georgescraftjr

@kjc48

Karla,

I just read your message addressed to Judi, after I posted something that I hope will make you and Judi smile. Sorry that your AC stopped working in your rental. Mine just stopped working in my car! (I've been driving around trying to look on the bright side: At least, I have a car--and so much more for which to be thankful.)

Good morning everyone else,

In retrospect, I think the back-and-forth silly exchanges between us belong in this "Agitation/Shadowing" discussion. I am so agitated (last night was another one of those nights, and this morning was no better) that I am shadowing Karla's posts! On a more serious note, I visited a memory care facility. This morning, I made a Plan B because George still doesn't want to stay in our home.

Jump to this post

@georgescraftjr

I meant to say that "George still wants to stay" at home with me. Now I'm beginning to see that we both should be in a care home!

REPLY
Profile picture for kjc48 @kjc48

@georgescraftjr @ljchr It's good that we can still find something inside of us to muster up a bit of humor, especially during "tense" times. It would be great if we could all sit in front of each other - where we can see each other's faces, show support and our good will in all of this. Posting can be tough at times as it's all subject to interpretation. As caregivers in this together, I appreciate the kind, savvy advice from all of you who "walk this walk." Best, Karla

Jump to this post

@kjc48

"Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me, yeah
I'm stayin' alive" -- Bee Gees

Thanks for your eternal support to all of us, Karla. So many days I feel like death warmed over. Because of you and everone in this support group, I am "stayin alive."

George's Wife

REPLY
Profile picture for georgescraftjr @georgescraftjr

@kjc48

"Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me
Somebody help me, yeah
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me, yeah
I'm stayin' alive" -- Bee Gees

Thanks for your eternal support to all of us, Karla. So many days I feel like death warmed over. Because of you and everone in this support group, I am "stayin alive."

George's Wife

Jump to this post

@georgescraftjr You can do this.....your living proof. You are doing this!
I love the Bee Gees; I used to roller skate to "Stayin' Alive"

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.