Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

@rashida
I had two cortisone shots in my back before I opted for back surgery 30 years ago. The first one took about ten days before I got any relief and only lasted about ten days. The second one took about a week to have any effect and lasted two weeks. This year I had two cortisone shots for my left shoulder and each only lasted two weeks. I had one for my left hip that did about the same. You may be better off looking into the chair lifts for your stairs rather than moving to a condo or a 55+ community. Our house is on 1.3 acres so we may look into a ranch with less property.

To all...

Sometimes our relationship with our children just doesn't work out. Sadly, this happens often, no matter how much the parent(s) try and try, and wish and hope it wasn't so. It's not unusual, and usually not the parents' doing.

And also often, it's really the best option for all.

As parents, nearly all of us try to help our children into adulthood and beyond. Often IMO, the outcome discussed above falls on them. At some point we -- as parents -- have to decide to move on, and to save our own life and its quality... for whatever years we have left.

After making the tough decision, let it be and celebrate YOUR life! You deserve it for all you've sacrificed and ever done for them.

/All the best!

LarryG

Hi Lylii,
That is too bad that you are experiencing these feelings of not being noticed. How sad! That's terrible and very impolite of those doing it. And, you are right. 66 is not old! I'd love to be 66 again! I'm going to be 80 in May. I have noticed some of the same things that you are going through. People don't want to talk much to what they consider "old" people. It seems to be the way of the world these days. Younger people only want to be with themselves. You sound very interesting with all of your background and interests! I would love to talk with you! I think you would be very interesting! Pursue the involvement in the community like you wanted to do. Possibly be involved with a senior community in some way. Seniors have more manners because they were raised that way. I remember my Mom and my Grandmother making me be polite to people when I was young. Leaving the family group who ignore you; even though that's your own children, might just be a good wake up call for them. Maybe they will ask you to return and change their ways. Also with families do remind them that you won't always be there for them in any way. Families tend to sometimes forget that we all die. My husband died in 2024 and I'm so glad that we had 30 wonderful years together! Even though I know he's up in Heaven and we'll eventually be reunited in God's time, it's very lonely for me without him. And, it will be for your loved ones and friends when you are gone too. They need to think about that and include you more.

Prayer helps also. Just talk to God like he's your best friend and he is! He'll straigten all of this mess out for you. It states in the Bible; (I may be wrong but I think it's in the Book of Matthew) "He knows of all your needs." I'll say a prayer for you also.
I wish you the best.
PML

@kjoed53 it has been less than a week since my shot and I have found little to no relief. Perhaps I should have tried the hyaluronic acid shot but the price was too much to gamble on pain relief.

We have viewed several condos and homes the past few months and each time we come home from a viewing we conclude our current home is much nicer than any condo or home we have viewed, so it looks like we may end up staying right where we are!.🤷🏼‍♀️ While the locations of some of the properties we have viewed are better they have needed work we could not afford to put in either in terms of finance or ability. Neither my husband nor I are good with our hands so have always had to rely on contractors and we can’t afford any more.

@rashida
Have you obtained a valuation for your house?

@kjoed53 yes we have, and in today’s market we will get a lot less than what we paid for - not to mention we would not recoup any of the money we have had to spend on updates over the past five years we have lived in this house.

The condos we have seen are too small for our needs and feel very confining. The houses we have seen so far are either beyond our budget or require updates for which we don’t want to have to go through any further expense.

@pml and @lylii Young people these days are not interested in the elders - those days are long gone. One of my kids has said: “that was then - this is now” any time I have even broached the subject about life when I was growing up.

I will be 80 soon too and simply mentioned in one of my text messages a few months ago that we should spend more time together as I was approaching my eighties and didn’t know how much longer I would be here, adding that no one on both sides of my family had lived past 86. Both my daughters took offence, accused me of putting them on a guilt trip (one of them reminding me she and her father had cancer - albeit treatable) and both immediately blocked me from the chat! They have both come around since then, but our relationship still feels strained. They want to be in our lives on their terms, so I am now at a point where I let things happen, having no expectations of anything or anyone. They know they are loved, no matter what, and they know my door (and especially my heart) is open to them 24/7/365. Beyond that I can’t do anything else.

There is never any guarantee on earthly relationships and the only relationship we truly can count on is the one we have with God. He is, and always will be our constant in the lives of all of us. Personally, it gives me great comfort to know that.

@larryg333

Let Them by Mel Robbins is a great book to support folks who are experiencing that kind of estrangement.

@rashida "Both my daughters took offence ... and both immediately blocked me from the chat!"

That is unbelievably cruel. Apparently blood is only thicker than water when it flows in one direction.