Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

@ I was 66 when my husband passed, I was able to drive myself to Church. I had a circle of ladies I met with to do some volunteer for special needs children do you feel you are not getting family support if they are near by
I felt as long as I was able, doing helpful things for someone else kept me from feeling lonely.
cryingunderwater

@lylii if you still get no response after what @gravity suggests, just remove yourself from the family chat (you simply go into the chat settings and remove your name), and find other discussion threads where you can feel heard (e.g., Mayo Connect), groups on various subjects on social media. You could also find in person social groups (e.g. at your local library), or sign up as a volunteer at an agency.

I've outlived all of my best friends and I'm only 73. I'm not outgoing, so I don't make new friends very easily. Most of my casual friends were from work. My job was eliminated three years after my company was acquired by a bigger one. I was a contract worker for nearly two years until the covid lockdown when all the contract workers were let go. I have AFib, PVCs and PACs. My wife is considerably younger, still working and still active. I'm the oldest living member of the family and I live nearly an hour away from my younger sister, who's still working and keeps busy with her children and grandchildren. I don't function well in the heat and humidity. I've been dealing with various health issues for the past year (covid, vertigo, cervical spine issues, etc.) and then I was diagnosed with PMR in March, which probably started last October but was initially attributed to my cervical spine issues. In May I was diagnosed with SMM. My body has had to adjust to high dose prednisone for the PMR and then a fast taper off prednisone because of the SMM. I'm fatigued all the time and now in pain from the PMR. I can't work outside for more than 30-45 minutes at a time in the heat and humidity. My wife has taken over most of the outdoor chores. I lose my breath walking up the stairs. We live on a busy county road in NJ so there's no real neighborhood for walking or interacting with neighbors. I have arthritic knees, so it's difficult to walk the hard floors of the few remaining malls. I don't enjoy reading like I used to because my eyes get tired. I'm really starting to feel useless and unmotivated, and I sound like a grumpy and tired old man, even to me.

@kjoed53 would it be possible for you and your wife to move to a condo apartment so you don’t have to deal with stairs and outside maintenance?

I can relate to arthritic knees - and I have high tolerance to pain! Until two days ago I could barely move my right leg because the pain was so intense. Went to a sports medical clinic and a doctor gave me a steroid injection in my knee and what a difference that has made in just two days. Knee is still painful, but the pain has reduced from a 10+ to a 4! Perhaps your rheumatologist could give you a steroid shot in your knee …?

@rashida
After we complete some updates, we will begin looking for a ranch home or a house with a first floor master suite. We lived in a condo for two years. I will never do so again. The fees and regulations that absurdly control everything you are allowed and not allowed to do are ridiculous. We were cited for growing too many flowers on our back patio, despite the many compliments we received from our neighbors and daily walkers. We were assigned one parking spot and there were too few unassigned spots to accommodate all the residents. I will never relinquish my rights as a homeowner to a homeowners association of any kind. Even one with modest fees and a minimum of regulations is subject to change and takeover by a group of power hungry and snobbish individuals. It might work for some people, but it's not for me.
I've had cortisone shots before and the relief is very short lived for me. Part of my pain is weather related, as it is much worse on rainy days. The other issue is that if I avoid stairs then I risk losing the ability to navigate stairs when I need to. Use it or lose it can be all so true. I'm also hoping that my prednisone tapering is magnifying the return of pain that I had gotten used to before the onset of PMR. When my kevzara prescription begins, the PMR pain should start going away. Sorry for the long reply.

@kjoed53 I agree with you 100%. Nothing like a detached bungalow! The only reason we are still in our house (back split, with just four steps up to the bedrooms and one bathroom) is because like you, I am reluctant to go into a condo but I am afraid we just may have to do that because where we live, in Canada, only the high end homes have an extra bathroom on the main floor, never mind an ensuite. The second washroom invariably is on the lower (basement, in the case of any bungalow style home) floor. This leaves us with no choice but to get a condo if our mobility needs change for the worse.

Yes, I was told by the doctor that this cortisone injection ($60 for the one shot) would have just a short span of pain relief but the alternative ($500 for one hyaluronic acid injection) just wasn’t affordable for me, and there was no guarantee that one would last either, albeit much longer than the cortisone would.

@momma2lucy every case is different as to the person, i lost 26 years with my daughter because of a nasty divorce and now that we have found each other a few years back she doesn't want to lose me now even with the serious TBI i had and two brain surgeries. i can only say that i am blessed to have the family i now have. Have a blessed day today.

@momma2lucy every case is different as to the person, i lost 26 years with my daughter because of a nasty divorce and now that we have found each other a few years back she doesn't want to lose me now even with the serious TBI i had and two brain surgeries. i can only say that i am blessed to have the family i now have. Have a blessed day today.

@momma2lucy every case is different as to the person, i lost 26 years with my daughter because of a nasty divorce and now that we have found each other a few years back she doesn't want to lose me now even with the serious TBI i had and two brain surgeries. i can only say that i am blessed to have the family i now have. Have a blessed day today.