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Is it ok to feel angry?
Venting. Here it comes again, the anger. It arrives in slow waves. Anger at my mother for not being more proactive about her life choices. Anger at dementia. Anger and frustration at the medical system. Anger that I’m losing sleep and exhausted all the time & above all, angry that I lost my job and the life I built due to her disease and slow decline.
And then I get angry at the deep guilt I experience because I feel angry!
I try to take deep breath and be in the moment. It’s a game of constantly reframing how I see this. I keep repeating to myself the word “acceptance”.
How do you cope if you experience these difficult emotions?
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@georgescraftjr My brain knows that.. but my heart has not gotten there yet! I am better than I was a couple of weeks ago!
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3 ReactionsI will give some advice if is ok! Please remember it is always ok to feel a plethora of responses, anger , irritation and anxiety with frustration! It is how you use that makes it better for your loved one! You cannot change them .. but you can change how to deal with it! I say this, because they most likely won’t t remember.. but u will! I have my radio on and I am exercising with weights and dancing to some of the songs! Some of u know I lost my spouse May 24th. I cry, I get angry, I get joy when I remember the things he did and his presence! One day this may be u! Don’t have regrets! Love them in spite of what they say or do! Coz one day you won’t have them! I know this may sound weird but, the other day I woke up and I felt a bear hug! My spouse gave those all the times I was really overwhelmed or just needed it! I chose to believe it was him! God bless u all!
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12 ReactionsA perfect place to vent.....my husband fell yesterday and gratefully only scrapped his arm. He cannot get on his knees to begin to even get up so I am unable to help him get up. Fire department came and assisted, very nicely.
One fire department member knows my step-son (who I raised and have known for over 50 years) let Fred's son know he had fallen. Son reaches out to his father who of course does not remember what happened. You would think the son would realize his dad will have no recall as this is not a recent diagnosis. Finally son called me. Our relationship was already fragile and now is totally severed. Relationship was already at a braking point and ultimately the conversation that insured ended it. In my anger I am considering filing a HIPPA violation against fireman. I am my husband's full time care giver with no help from his son who lives in the same city or daughter-in-law who is a caregiver by trade . Thanks for listening.
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6 Reactions@sillyblone
I just read about your spouse's passing. I am so sorry! I know how diligent you were to make sure he had the best care possible.
Do you have the help and support you need as you adjust to this new chapter in your life?
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1 ReactionYes, friendships, family and my church! But sometimes you feel alone in a room full of people! I miss him so very much! He was the my very best friend, husband and my everything! I am tired most of the time! I have not been to see a doctor in quite awhile! But, I made appt. to see my Internist! You just tend to put your attention to your loved one and everything else! I am a survivor and I will get through the grief! I think I have been hugged by so many people who are very close friends and family!! I used Hospice from the first of the year until he passed! Wonderful and very kind staff! My husband loved his nurse! I have been amazed at how much he was committed to being there for me as well! Heaven has gained another kind soul! Thank you again and God bless you for caring!💕🙏🏻
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