Doesn’t anyone else feel …… ?

Posted by sunnygardens @sunnygardens, Jun 25 6:27pm

Everyone seems so calm and reasonable on here. Am I the only one who gets fed up and irritable?
This evening two things are driving me nuts: one is the constant contrariness, increased from his normal contrariness. (My daughter once said he’s the most contrary person she’s ever met. That was three years ago. Before these unexplained symptoms began.) The other irritation (aaarrrghh!!!) is the nearly always saying “Oh, I know.” When clearly, until it was explained, he did NOT know. (This too is an increase from his normal level of knowing everything.)
It truly seems that all the incompatible characteristics are greatly exaggerated now.
As is my level of irritation, which certainly does not help.

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Profile picture for sunnygardens @sunnygardens

@deme17z are the medications helping at all? Is the physio helping at all? Sometimes it’s time to call an end to ineffective therapies.
Are you able to have a schedule? Maybe if you regularly told him it’s time to go for a walk, it would help you both.
Are you able to get someone to stay with him while you go out?
Your frustration is absolutely justified.
You know, once upon a time, if a person was age 86, wanted to sleep, and was barely able to walk, family would let him sleep. Put him in a wheelchair. Not try to rehabilitate him/her.
My brother and I used to say “Dad’s 84. Let him eat what he wants.” (After 20 years of trying to stop him furthering his decline into eating unhealthy foods all the time.)
In the end, it was the incoming cancer treatment that killed Jim. He wanted to continue with it. We saw the side effects but it was his choice.
Sometimes we should just let old people do what they’re comfortable with because all the treatments and therapies are making their life more miserable.
Remember to take care of yourself!

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@sunnygardens Yes I think meds help plus my daily prayers to Jesus the Master Healer which I have a strong faith in. Thank God his dementia is not the critical types but its just age-related dementia hopefully slow progression.
He cant walk outside without the walker cuz also it makes him tired too soon.
You know my son tells me to leave him alone, or let hin eatwhat he wants but he is diabetic what he wants are sweets Icant let him except very rarely he can.
Yeah,physical theraphy is not improving his walking so I think its soon will be stopped.I try to socialize with my friends while my daughter keeps him for few hours.
Thank you for your helpful reply.

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Profile picture for deme17z @deme17z

@sunnygardens Yes I think meds help plus my daily prayers to Jesus the Master Healer which I have a strong faith in. Thank God his dementia is not the critical types but its just age-related dementia hopefully slow progression.
He cant walk outside without the walker cuz also it makes him tired too soon.
You know my son tells me to leave him alone, or let hin eatwhat he wants but he is diabetic what he wants are sweets Icant let him except very rarely he can.
Yeah,physical theraphy is not improving his walking so I think its soon will be stopped.I try to socialize with my friends while my daughter keeps him for few hours.
Thank you for your helpful reply.

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@deme17z of course you can’t let him eat foods that will damage him. It must be difficult though, if he’s asking for unhealthy foods.
Maybe your son is right about just letting your husband sleep or do what he wants. Yes, the diabetes might get worse if he doesn’t exercise. But if exercise is so tiring, and causes discomfort, or he didn’t want to, is it time to let him stop fighting the fatigue?
I’m so sorry you’re losing that companionship. It’s a help though, that you have your son and daughter visiting and helping.
Also……could you ask your pharmacist if the medications are making him more tired? Maybe the dose is too strong?
Thinking of you often and sending prayers your way.
🌻

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Profile picture for wctdoc1943 @wctdoc1943

You are not alone.

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@wctdoc1943 thanks.
Sure wish I had a friend nearby. But it helps a lot to have this forum.

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Profile picture for kjc48 @kjc48

@georgescraftjr "Does anyone else feel" seemed to be the right place to post this, this morning to you, and every other caregiver on this site. I feel blessed and grateful for all of you who have liked, hugged, and/or responded when I needed you most. You have taken away my fear, made life easier with your sage, sometimes, upbeat, funny advice, while traveling down this same road, where life can feel so uncertain at times. Watching the kaleidoscope of fireworks last night across so many cities, reminded me of you - my Mayo Connect friends - across so many cities in that same beautiful kaleidoscope of love and support - where a diverse collection of shared ideas and "travelled roads" gives us hope, in knowing what to do and when. Happy fourth to all of you. You've all made a difference in my life. Thank you for just being there. Best, Karla

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@kjc48 Awww, Karla, that’s so nice.
You summed up in perfect words the thoughts & feelings that I definitely share, but so many others, too, I’m sure.
I hope you had a good 4th.
Linda

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Profile picture for todayissaturday4 @todayissaturday4

I am very irritated too. I try to meditate at least once a day. Friends don't get it.

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@todayissaturday4
My new therapist suggested meditation. I have to hide from my Monkey Mind so I can calmly meditate and not get distracted.
I am sure meditating takes practice.

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Profile picture for lkbous @lkbous

@kjc48 Awww, Karla, that’s so nice.
You summed up in perfect words the thoughts & feelings that I definitely share, but so many others, too, I’m sure.
I hope you had a good 4th.
Linda

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@lkbous Thanks, Linda for your note back. Hope you had a good 4th too.
Best, Karla

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Profile picture for kjc48 @kjc48

@georgescraftjr "Does anyone else feel" seemed to be the right place to post this, this morning to you, and every other caregiver on this site. I feel blessed and grateful for all of you who have liked, hugged, and/or responded when I needed you most. You have taken away my fear, made life easier with your sage, sometimes, upbeat, funny advice, while traveling down this same road, where life can feel so uncertain at times. Watching the kaleidoscope of fireworks last night across so many cities, reminded me of you - my Mayo Connect friends - across so many cities in that same beautiful kaleidoscope of love and support - where a diverse collection of shared ideas and "travelled roads" gives us hope, in knowing what to do and when. Happy fourth to all of you. You've all made a difference in my life. Thank you for just being there. Best, Karla

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@kjc48
And thank you, Karla, for always showing up…blessings

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Profile picture for kjc48 @kjc48

@georgescraftjr you make me laugh! You know I didn't see it that way, when it read" Does anyone else feel.........? Yes, I felt grateful! I guess it's because of the smile (and makeup) that I was feeling so genuinely heart-felt! Glass half empty, or half full. I know the one I opt for! Happy 4th, my friend. PS, I'm still laughing at the "aaarrrghh!!!"
Best, Karla

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@kjc48
Glass too big.

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Profile picture for judimahoney @judimahoney

@dederickve
I ordered a special digital clock to combat the constant questions regarding what time, day of the week, date, month and year it is. It gives all that info on a readout about the size of a tablet. When my husband asks me those questions I point to the clock.

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@judimahoney thank you, Judi, I will try to find one !

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Profile picture for dederickve @dederickve

@judimahoney thank you, Judi, I will try to find one !

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@dederickve
I typed in dementia clock in an internet search, then selected the filter for shopping.
I am happy with the large letters and numbers on the display screen. It wasn't a lot of money.

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