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Doesn’t anyone else feel …… ?

Posted by sunnygardens @sunnygardens, Jun 25 6:27pm

Everyone seems so calm and reasonable on here. Am I the only one who gets fed up and irritable?
This evening two things are driving me nuts: one is the constant contrariness, increased from his normal contrariness. (My daughter once said he’s the most contrary person she’s ever met. That was three years ago. Before these unexplained symptoms began.) The other irritation (aaarrrghh!!!) is the nearly always saying “Oh, I know.” When clearly, until it was explained, he did NOT know. (This too is an increase from his normal level of knowing everything.)
It truly seems that all the incompatible characteristics are greatly exaggerated now.
As is my level of irritation, which certainly does not help.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

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marilynt | @marilynt | 23 hours ago
In reply to @judimahoney "@marilynt Look into raised, raised beds. They are great for we seniors who don't want to..." + (show)
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@marilynt
Look into raised, raised beds. They are great for we seniors who don't want to kneel down anymore.
They are built at waist height.

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@judimahoney
Yes, we do have a raised bed. My sleep is usually interrupted by finding a comfortable position for the surgery knee and leg. Also, my husband frequently gets up and that can wake me too, but I am dealing with it the best I can.
I think the biggest issue is how much he sleeps during the day. He has so little energy from the cancer treatment and no drive to do much of anything. Yes, they are adjusting his medication, but it takes time.

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georgescraftjr | @georgescraftjr | 14 hours ago
In reply to @kjc48 "@judimahoney Thanks, Judy. Again, your logic prevails...respite care in trade for a neglected inflamed implant. Not..." + (show)
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@judimahoney Thanks, Judy. Again, your logic prevails...respite care in trade for a neglected inflamed implant. Not sure I'm loving this aging process. Happy 4th. Best, Karla

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@kjc48

You're not aging in the negative sense. You are like a fine wine that improves with age!

George's Wife

P.S. I thought of you this morning, as I was removing the two-month old polish from my toe nails and painting on a fresh coat of flourescent blue!

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shmerdloff | @shmerdloff | 12 hours ago
In reply to @georgescraftjr "@kjc48 You're not aging in the negative sense. You are like a fine wine that improves..." + (show)
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@kjc48

You're not aging in the negative sense. You are like a fine wine that improves with age!

George's Wife

P.S. I thought of you this morning, as I was removing the two-month old polish from my toe nails and painting on a fresh coat of flourescent blue!

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@georgescraftjr
Remember the story here of the lady's new intern who diagnosed her with hypoxia because her toenails were blue?

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georgescraftjr | @georgescraftjr | 12 hours ago

Shouldn't you be getting your beauty sleep by now?

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n82821 | @n82821 | 3 hours ago

@sunnygardens
Think about it for a minute. It's your reaction to something that is not under his control. It's the disease speaking. In a Caregiver group I attend, one of the women said, " I just say to my self, it's Al, speaking", Al for Alzheimers, and she does a bit of deflection, "I have to pee.", or just walks away. No one says this is easy. It's not.

Tom

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n82821 | @n82821 | 1 hour ago
In reply to @ocdogmom "@2me I am not surprised that your medical professionals lack the appropriate training to communicate effectively..." + (show)
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@2me I am not surprised that your medical professionals lack the appropriate training to communicate effectively with patients who have cognitive deficits and need a slower, more patient approach. Very few in my experience have received any training in medical school, internship or residency on this subject, unless they are geriatricians. Those that are not usually do not take the time to learn these skills as their first priority is their current specialty. Some internists that see a lot of older people in their practice will have some experience with this. They know to be sure that they are right in front of the patient when they speak, to be sure that the patient sees them talking to him/her, not to present more than one idea at a time, etc. That is why I think we need to accompany our loved ones to the doctor and take notes about what is said so that we can later repeat the information, if needed, as sometimes the patient cannot grasp the concepts presented, regardless of how it is said. With my husband I only answer any questions he may have-virtually none. And I only give him information he needs in the moment because that is where he is now-in the moment. This is truly a challenging time but I believe that with support like this web page we can do what we have to do to cope and even find some joy in our days. God bless you and your husband.

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@ocdogmom
I have a card from Dartmouth Hitchcock Dementia Center of Excellence, that says "my wife has dementia please expect some confusion" I added to the card, "She is in denial, please do not talk around her!" I hand out these cards to the medical pros, and it helps. When they ask her a question, and she is hesitant to reply, I then talk to her, to remind her of what her problems are or were, so that she will then remain in the conversation. I do not respond to the medical pro. It isn't perfect, but it helps.

Tom
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