Lack of recognition

Gratia, Unfortunately that is one of the most common behaviors of a dementia patient. And, it takes different forms, as I learned during my six years of caring for my wife. At times she would just ask who i was - other times, more often, she called me "daddy'. My response had to be different in each case - so when asked who I was, my answer was always I'm Fred, I'm here to take care of you. Most times that response was sufficient - other times it would upset her, (she didn't want me to take care), so I would just say that I would find someone else to do the job, or ask if she had anyone else she would prefer. That normally satisfied her, and the subject was forgotten in seconds. As to the "daddy" recognition - I would simply take on the role of "daddy", and ask if there was anything I could do for her at that moment. The main point is to not dispute your husband's belief of what he perceives. don't attempt to convince him that he is wrong - come up with some alternative, so as to avoid causing him becoming upset. Which of course, is not good for either of you.
Just give him all of the love and attention possible - All the best to you, be strong, take care of yourself, so that your able to take care of him.

@fred1 Thank you Fred for a really good response to Gratia! After reading her post I thought, what will it be like when we get to that point of the disease…when he doesn’t know who I am or why I am there. Right now my hubby doesn’t always think of me as his wife, but he does recognize that I am the person who lives with him and takes care of him. I remind him all along that I am his wife and that we have been married for 45 years…he always looks at me in astonishment like he can’t believe he has been married for 45 years! I will remember your response when the time comes.

labrown, It worked for me - most of the time. Hope you have the same, or better results, if that time comes. Wishing you all the best - Please take care of yourself also, so that you are able to take care of him.

@labrown

George still recognizes me albeit at times he calls me by the name of his favorite daughter from a prior marriage.

I'm sorry for you--and for others whose spouse no longer knows them. If it helps, just pretend that your partner is "leaving [or has left] on a jet plane," and dream about the day when you will be reunited. As the song "Leaving On A Jet Plane" goes:

"All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go.
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say Goodbye

But the dawn is breaking it's early morn
The taxi's waiting his blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'cause I'm leaving on a Jet Plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go

...
...

Well now the time has come to leave you
One more time please let me kiss you
Then close your eyes and I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave you alone
About the times I won't have to say Goodbye." -- John Denver

George's Wife

P.S. See you on the other side.

@georgescraftjr I loved that song and John Denver!

@labrown

...and do you remember Patsy Cline singing:

"See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle
Just remember, darlin', all the while
You belong to me

See the market place in old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
You belong to me

I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too
And blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember 'til you're home again
You belong to me
....

Fly that ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember 'til you're home again
You belong to me"

Sing this to your hubby. He belongs to you, whether he recognizes you or not.

Love,
George's Wife

@georgescraftjr Music definitely speaks to you. I didn’t know that one of Patsy’s but it is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with me.