Anyone Else With PTSD?

I felt so bad reading your post. I am praying for you. I understand about major depression and not wanting to leave the house. We care!

Thanks for caring @karen00 I was hoping that others would respond too. I believe prayers will surely help me figure out me. I am not sure how to feel? I am on the journey to recover. I hope that I will get out of this deep hole soon thanks again

Thanks for caring @karen00 I was hoping that others would respond too. I believe prayers will surely help me figure out me. I am not sure how to feel? I am on the journey to recover. I hope that I will get out of this deep hole soon thanks again

It's when your brain can't handle any more of the trauma and it tries to help your body and mind survive so your mind goes somewhere else it considers safer. For example, my PTSD is the result of childhood sexual abuse... incest. When things were being done to me rather than just go crazy my mind would take me away. While I was still very young it would take me to my grandmother's house and, as I grew older it many times took me to books or stories I had read. You literally feel transported, your mind "dis" "associates" from your body. It usually happens involuntarily but I found once I realized it could happen I could sometimes consciously will it to happen. It's a bit like meditation, the more you work at it the easier it becomes. I know you have lots of questions and I'm happy to share what I've learned and, the more you understand how something works the easier it becomes to control the controllable parts of it.

@parus I am an incest survivor. I was physically and sexually abused as a child (we're talking broken bones stuff). I also was sexually assaulted as a young adult by a stranger. I decided to not let my abuse or past define me. I am a SURVIVOR. I do not need to give my abusers the power to continue to hurt me through flashbacks and triggers. They certainly aren't thinking on it any longer! A huge part of my childhood was taken - they WILL not take the rest of my life. It is MY choice. I am so very sorry you were not helped with therapy. There are some bad therapists out there, but there are many good ones. I am on medication for depression and find it really helps me. I know there are members in my own family who refuse to believe they have a mental illness (two are bi-polar and one is schizophrenic) and they "self" medicate with drugs and/or alcohol. It is so sad, as they are only making their life worse. There is no shame in having a mental illness. It is like any other illness. Your brain is an organ. If you had a brain tumor, you would get it looked at and fixed. But why people have a hard time with brain chemistry being out of balance and causing an illness (just like insulin in diabetes) is beyond me. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is help out there for everyone. Even if it is self education through books. The thing is, you must do all the hard work. Ignore what doesn't work for you and really practice what does. I am so sorry you feel so hopeless (sounds like depression to me - been there, done that many times!). There are even some studies which show brain chemistry is forever altered in children who have been through continuous situations of abuse and extreme stress. But this does NOT mean you can't live a good life. You don't have to be a product of your past. YOU decide who you want to be mentally and daily work to accomplish that goal. I am by no means saying it is easy. It is HARD, emotional work. It has taken me years (and, yes, medication). But I am so much better than I used to be. I, personally, also find my strength in God. I truly feel He has given me the strength and wisdom to move forward. I no longer hate my abusers. I certainly don't want to have lunch with them, but I can cast them aside in my mind with no anger when they pop up. So much is about changing the negative self talk, about replacing a negative emotion with a positive one. I will be praying for you. I know the road is long, but once you start putting one foot in front of the other and stop thinking about how far you have to go, you will see improvement.

@catcatanzaro60- Good Morning Cat. I have been following your story. I don't know if I could have made it as far as you have. This shows a lot of strength. How has your life changed since you made changes within your family?
I'd like to introduce you to another group. It's called Depression and Anxiety: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/depression-anxiety/
We are a fantastic group of helpful, empathetic loving people. @parus and @karen00 are in it and are very helpful with plenty of experience.