How do you handle your appearance as you age?

I have chronic pain as well as PMR and SMM. My looks are my looks and I can't say that I have ever been totally happy with it, but it is what it is. My sister had chronic pain and so she stopped doing things. She sat around all day in a house dress or bathrobe until she could barely walk and couldn't even keep up with our mom who was 30 years older. I get up, shower and get dressed every day. It makes me feel better. I wear what's comfortable, but then again I've never worried about being fashionable unless I'm going somewhere with someone. I'll admit that I don't shave but once a week unless I'm going to a function. I keep moving throughout the day because as they say...use it or lose it. Show yourself some love!

I am sorry you are feeling down about aging. I am 84, just went thru major surgery. Now wear a colostomy bag. I think one of the keys to feeling good about aging is keeping yourself surrounded by positive thinking people at or near your age. I have a group that play cards, eat out once a month, play bunco and church. Please stay involved. Hugs

@browndognotnow Such wisdom. So stressful trying to present as much younger than you are. So unstressful being around people who accept you as you are.

While looks may have their place in certain situations, in the end I'd find someone rather boring if that person is not also someone who can intelligently participate even if it's a short discussion. After all any enduring interest has to have something about us that makes us WANT to be in touch with. Personality, the deeper sense of comfort about who one is -- which often stems from basic curiosity about life, but also from an lifetime of experience where one develops both more interesting and meaningful interaction. After all if it's going to develop into something that you LIKE about the other person, for me it's got to be more than looks; it's personality. I think it is then that we can have what comes close to having a FRIEND.

That is a gem I'm looking for, in all my serious interactions; that is what people who have studied the loneliness epidemic we are in, can be addressed with: connections based on our authentic selves, where each connects with the other openly without fear or judgement. That is what would make my life wonderful as a member of the larger community. I seek it out each day -- it matters little that I am an octogenarian.

@sisyphus

Love your philosophy. Suits me to a tee. Thanks.

@pml
Great thoughts. Thank you!

What I do not see much talked about here is the positive impact of healthy lifestyle, such as food that is rich in fruit and vegetable -- Half of the plate as, e.g., Harvard Health website shows.

The other is that healthy skin results from aerobic physical activity. A healthy body is strong and flexible and it needs to use various body parts for wholesome health, skin's being one.

And as Mayo website reminds us, restful, rejuvenating sleep is important, too.

Let's aim for health in it's broadest sense, including social, spiritual, psychological such as stress management as well. We are in optimal form when most of our 'selves' are best taken care of. For me it's the my purposeful direction that often steers me into healthy lifestyle, not the other way around.

It seems like I aged overnight, also. For the very first time, I got a trainer. You'd be amazed at how you can firm up your body, feel fantastic and look better in your clothes. I've always had my own style, which includes wearing a statement piece . Pin, earrings or a necklace. It makes me feel like a million bucks. We start to get overlooked in our 50's, so if I can stand out just a little bit, if makes me feel alive. Do I have a bunch of aging on my body, yeah. Painful some days, but I keep that negative bs on the inside. I gave up caring about my wrinkles .

I think that's great that you got a trainer and it helped you stay in shape! Also it's nice that you continue to wear jewelry. I'm 80 and I always wear my sparkly earrings and make up even though there's not many people in my life to see me anymore since my husband died in 2024. As you said it makes one feel better about themselves even if you are just going to the grocery store. Add a smile and you look and feel great!
PML

I am 84, male, and I have found a way to stand out. Ten years ago, I was getting Mani-peticurs since I couldn't reach my toes. The gals would always ask what color I wanted my nails. For at least six months, I said no. One day I was in a different mood and wanted something different. I chose light blue. I got positive feedback especially from waitresses. Then I got into the holiday spirit and whatever was a symbol of a holiday, I could get the gals to paint the symbols on my nails: Pumpkins, stars & strips, candle flames, flowers, etc. I was in an accident, just me, wearing light blue with sparkles; went to the ER and ended with laughter over the light blue polish. Stopped the cooloring for a while. I have a beard which is pretty much white. Last March, I had the beard dyed Emerald Green, lots of fun. It soon faded and we went to bright blue. In July, I am thinking of bright red. My beginning plan was to do Hot Pink in October for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. And, yes, the blue has faded. A smile is always on.

My second son was a career Air Force. Started as a helicopter pilot. When he stopped flying, he got various teaching and admin assignments. The first time he interviewed for an embassy assignment, the lady from the State Dept asked him why he was smiling. He told her. "I always smile, it keeps me positive and my crews happy. And yes I do understand the seriousness of the assignment."