How do you handle your appearance asyou age?

Gosh. I wish I could give you a big hug right now but will send you a virtual hug. I just looked at your photo and I think you are beautiful. Perhaps not the beauty of your youth but beautiful none the less.
We women are really set up in this crazy culture, to over value our looks to our detriment as good humans. It breaks my heart to hear that you are ashamed.
I'm a 78 yr. old woman. I look very little like my younger version and I am delightfully invisible now. I welcome this change because I hate the pressure I felt to look a certain way when younger. What a scam!
F. Scott Fitzgerald coined a wonderful phrase, "Living well is the best revenge." He wasn't referring to aging and I wouldn't use the word revenge. I would say, living well is the best path to feeling fully alive. I encourage you to get out in the world and grab hold of anything and everything that excites and nourishes you. To heck with the rest of the b.s. shoulds. As my mentor once told me, "It is none of your business what others think of you.

While I understand completely about how you’re feeling (am 78) I would encourage you to not give up. Take whatever time you need for your shock and grief over losing the physical appearance of aging. I remember waking up one day and being horrified by the suddenness of my aging appearance. It’s taken me about a year to finally realize I’m still me, just in a new package. It’s still depressing sometimes but no longer devastating. Acknowledging what changes come with aging is clearly a topic humans avoid, much to our later dismay. Maybe there’s a way for us to educate younger people but am not sure how to go about it. I wish you all the best.

@gravity3 Thank you so much. I did get my partial fixed, so I can smile now,. You are a beautiful person inside and out

@galere
I can relate. Just yesterday, a loved one noticed for the first time that my arms are becoming crepey (noticed not in a critical way, just questioning what that was….). Of course, there have been many less than attractive changes to my body that I have been noticing! And I have known grief over this as you have related, asking myself “Wow, so this is really happening now?”

I care for my 94 year old dad. He can barely walk with a walker, etc etc etc. But he still takes care in shaving, carefully choosing his outfit when a favorite nurse is coming to the house, wants his comb in the hospital. May we never give up on respecting ourselves enough to look our best!
But you know, I am trying to accept that maybe this season of life has MORE for me than trying to keep up with what the world values as attractive. (Not that I will give up those creams, etc!). Maybe I (and you and all our aging sisters!) have more to offer each other and the world, than competing or trying to keep up in this way. Maybe in our aging selves we are now more “comfortable” and relatable and approachable so that others can accept what we have to offer from the INSIDE, rather than getting caught up in envy, competition, etc. For me, I am hoping that can be an inner light of faith and joy and hope that I believe only comes from Christ. But for anyone no matter what you believe, are we not attracted most to those who have that sparkle in their eye, that spark of humor and fun and joy? I would like to be THAT person “when I grow up”! Not as a consolation prize for losing the little good looks I used to have, but as something more!

Your picture shows a lovely and very stylish woman on the outside, who I would be proud to be seen with and call friend. Your discussion shows a woman of great sensitivity and willingness to be vulnerable and relatable and one who earnestly seeks open discussion and listens to others’ opinions—qualities of a true companion and friend in life. I pray you will share unashamedly with the world that inner light and love (packaged in that beautiful “outside”)—that is true beauty that time cannot ravage!

(And now I’ll get off my soapbox and go try to live this today myself, haha!)

Hello....well, let me stick my old wrinkled nose in here, too. if I may! Yes?
I used to be 78 and old feeling and looking. Now I'm almost 87 and I don't mind so much anymore. I got used to the old face in the mirror (I still use a little makeup to do it's thing) and I just get on with living. There is a lot that I can still do and I concentrate on the "cans" not the "cants." Remember that old song... "You've got to accent the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative. And don't mess with Mr. inbetween."? I keep things as positive as I can. Key words. " As I can." I don't pretend that, or think that, I will ever look like I did or feel like I did before but I make each day as positive as I can.
I take care of myself, find things to do that are of interest to me and do a little exercising most days. I keep in touch with my grandchildren and taken on some of their young interests from them. I am a Star Wars fan! We will be going to see the new Mandalorian and Grogu movie together...with me in my wheelchair.

Another saying about aging, "It's mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter." And Honey, don't let it matter ; )

@judyingenes
LOVE it! Your fun attitude reminds me of something my dad often replies when someone asks him how he is doing: “Well, I woke up this morning seeing flowers instead of roots, so I guess I’m doing fine!” 🤣

Feeling exactly the same as you. I used to be a part time model.

I keep wanting to stand on my head so my face goes UP instead of down. I look the WORST in the morning and find I don't want to go anywhere or I wear great big sunglasses and a ball cap!

Why can't my face look smooth, sweet and kind like some 80 year olds? Instead of like I just got dragged through a keyhole?

I guess I will get used to it and stop griping. God gave me a brain and at least (So far) it isn't aging much?

@babbsjoy “Well, I woke up this morning seeing flowers instead of roots, so I guess I’m doing fine!”

That's GREAT!
My dad used to say: "I am vertical, I guess it is going to be a good day!".

Reading the comments and talking to friends-we all seem to have had the same feeling-it happened almost overnight! Not sure if it’s a mind game played on us- but it’s a thing! I’m also trying to navigate yet another transition. I do find self talk really does help. I thought it was psycho-babble but it is helping me. Kind of ‘the mind goes where it’s pointed’. Know you’re not alone- and do what you deem necessary, but also give yourself grace.

What I noticed when I was much younger, was that when a person was well groomed and smiled, no matter their age, that they were indeed attractive. Whether they were “beautiful “ or not. The smile made all the difference. And we don’t need the latest fashion, or expensive clothes.