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Glioblastoma brain tumor: Struggling without him
My husband, 74, woke non verbal March 28 and was diagnosed at Duke hospital with a grade 4 giloblastoma brain tumor. He had surgery April 13, was sent home 1 day later, was home for 17 days then had a stroke, was hospitalized again for 8 days then died in hospice 3 days later. He had no signs of this, we were convinced with surgery he would get 10-12 months but a total of 45 days is all he made it. He was actually the best the 2 days prior to surgery, never the same after. His death was absolutely horrible and I am now struggling being without him after 56 years of marriage.
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I am so sorry to hear about your loss. GBM is a cruel disease. I lost my husband four years ago to GBM. He last 107 days after his surgery. I have forever been changed by his death. We were together for 25 years. I miss him every day. I had very little support from friends and family. I even had some long time friends ghost me. I wish you the best. I hope you have some good support from friends and family.
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3 ReactionsThis is just terrible. I’m just so sad for you and your family. Your entire life has been upended and it’s hard to know what to do, let alone not see that face.
Reaching out to this community is an excellent way to find a lot of care and heartfelt support.
A family member with the same diagnosis-a sibling -will get his post op mri report soon-the waiting is just plain awful.
I truly believe that cancer is the devil on earth.
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1 ReactionPraying for you
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2 Reactions@kjsthljc1, what a shock this must have been. You were prepared for months, but only had days. Everything happened so fast and then he was gone.
I've added your post to the Loss & Grief support group here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/ where you will meet others who understand.
It sounds like there wasn't even time for hospice care. Sometimes people don't know that family members can get grief support from their local hospice. Have you looked into getting grief support in your community? How are you doing today?
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2 Reactions@colleenyoung
The last trip to the hospital was only 1 week and I decided to transfer him to hospice once it became obvious the doctors only wanted to use him for research and was in a truly bad place. I had him moved to hospice and 3 days later he passed. It was not only a horrible experience but also a very horrible end. There are just so many unanswered questions, conversations we didn't get to have because of him being non verbal. I have seen so many posts of others who had much better experiences than we did even though we supposedly had one of the best surgeons.
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3 Reactions@kjsthljc1 I'm so sorry for your loss, and that you had to go through such a terrible experience with the hospital.
I too lost my husband 5 weeks ago after 56 years of being together. I understand your pain. The struggle every day. I don't know how to bear the ache in my heart. All the memories that come flooding back. The guilt, the feeling that I should have done more for him. The conversations we never had...
I wonder how others manage to bear this pain and continue to survive.
Know that you are not alone. I feel his presence near me, and I know that he is waiting for me, and wants me to carry on the best I can.
Wishing you strength and peace.
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