How to deal with aging anxiety?

Posted by grahmilou @grahmilou, Dec 30, 2025

The last few years have been hard with multiple surgeries, now recovered, but ongoing pain. The loss of friends recently as they passed and the worrying about how the road feels like it’s getting so much shorter. constantly worrying about the process of dying. trying to stay grateful for today but sometimes the anxiety feels overwhelming especially as I see our country chance for worse and worry about the world for my grandchildren.

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Profile picture for crn @crn

I thought the topic was dealing with aging anxiety. My response to that is that it appears to me that because we are not as busy as we once were with jobs, raising a family and stress in general, we now have time to worry about everything. To answer the original question, I thought I would mention one way to help overcome aging anxiety is chair tai chi. I participate with an online video of chair tai chi every morning. It relaxes me and it is only 12 minutes and 47 seconds long. It’s a great way to start your day! If you can participate in “regular” tai chi - go for it and enjoy!

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@crn Just read this and coincidence first time new person for hearing test she was good and I will try wearing them .. didnt work out last time... but I bought a book she wrote about Chair Yoga... I would think similar to Chair Tai Chi and I just started reading it. She shows a regular kitchen type chair no arms... etc. so will try for first time tomorrow... I am a bit shaky and not very active so to do these types of exercises using a chair seems like a great idea! Maybe there are similar things on You Tube ... 🙂 J.

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Profile picture for susanejw @susanejw

@karinweiss Same here. Exactly. Life has different seasons, and this one, for me, is about introspection and taking care of myself and my surroundings. I’m dwell in nature. I’m fortunate to have a simpatico husband to interact with, but I don’t go out socially. I always thought I’d be more politically & environmentally active & going to demonstrations in my older age, or traveling more, but I realize now why you don’t see many older people doing these things. I’ve learned it’s time to pass the torch. (I admire those who are still doing it!)
For me, though, it’s not a sense of loss, but an acceptance of this season. I feel a sense of incredible loss for this country, but realize I can’t help change it, and I live with that knowledge with the help of antidepressants, and try to focus on the here and now.

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@susanejw
I so…admire you!
I wish I could be like that. At 84yrs. old I look healthier than what I am and still like/want to do things I can no longer do. (sad).
Thank you for writing and expressing how you feel! Uby

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Profile picture for babette @babette

I'm right there with you and wish I had the magic to heal this. I'm facing a shoulder replacement in a few weeks and have come to understand how much chronic pain affects us. I've also suffered from anxiety/depression and its relationship to pain.

I have done a couple of things to mitigate what you and I are suffering from. The world, especially our country, has become surreal and foreign to me. I simply can't believe what is happening and have chosen to shut down all news. I allow only beauty in my life: music, art, reading, nature.

Second, at I have decided to adopt a palliative care only approach to my health. I have learned about the difference between palliative and hospice care and it's huge! Once I've recovered from my surgery, that is - lol! I will continue to take my usual medications, but will refuse any aggressive interventions and procedures. No more screenings, no MRIs, CT scans, etc. When my body can no long live pain-free and enjoy movement, when I get a serious diagnosis, I will accept comfort care with gratitude.

Third, I take medication for anxiety and depression which have been invaluable.

I'm 68 and, given my family history, thought I would be dealing with this 10 or 20 years from now. I have had a mostly beautiful life. I married a truly wonderful man over 40 years ago, enjoyed meaningful work, raised a daughter with learning disabilities who is now in graduate school studying social work. I was blessed with the most extraordinary parents imaginable. I have enjoyed great friendships (vanishing now), and beautiful places. The ability to think and enjoy complex ideas as well as a simple life.

One book and an article I read recently have been very validating and supportive: Natural Causes, by Barbara Ehrenreich and the attached article.

I am thinking of you and sending all best wishes for peace.

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@babette

Four in the morning and looking for treatment for my severe depression and for my sons traumatic brain injury. I know that hearing other people’s experiences similar to mine is already making me feel better. Thank you.

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If you wake up some days feeling like it's Christmas morning and you didn't get anything you wanted, just remember that although it felt like the end of the world to us then, it wasn't. Life is and always was what you make of it. (Please don't stop coming here to vent. Some of the best listeners are here and we all need to vent at times.)

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My husband is 84 and I am 81. I have taken care of him and everything else for years and years and he is not really computer literate, won't use a cell phone, is unable to handle any computer glitch, etc. For that reason, I pray that he will go first as he really can't handle things on his own. If that happens, I will try to wind things down and sell the house, move into an apartment and know that once my time comes and I am gone, I won't care about what I missed.

And I have tried very hard to not worry about things I can't change. There is much of the newspaper that I simply don't read as it is too depressing. And that is how I am handling aging.

For whatever reason, as I have aged I have developed an obsession with excellent quality dark chocolate. I guess that's a healthier obsession than alcohol.

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Profile picture for degarden_girl @degarden_girl

My husband is 84 and I am 81. I have taken care of him and everything else for years and years and he is not really computer literate, won't use a cell phone, is unable to handle any computer glitch, etc. For that reason, I pray that he will go first as he really can't handle things on his own. If that happens, I will try to wind things down and sell the house, move into an apartment and know that once my time comes and I am gone, I won't care about what I missed.

And I have tried very hard to not worry about things I can't change. There is much of the newspaper that I simply don't read as it is too depressing. And that is how I am handling aging.

For whatever reason, as I have aged I have developed an obsession with excellent quality dark chocolate. I guess that's a healthier obsession than alcohol.

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@degarden_girl
Dark chocolate is so underappreciated! I especially like it with a cup of coffee. I read the news online and only open the articles that interest me. I'm 73 and I've embraced the changeover to cell phones and computers, but I'm guessing that my career choice made that easier. I know some people who are reluctant to use new technology and others who are downright afraid to use it. I learned a long time ago that the only person you can change is yourself.

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Profile picture for degarden_girl @degarden_girl

My husband is 84 and I am 81. I have taken care of him and everything else for years and years and he is not really computer literate, won't use a cell phone, is unable to handle any computer glitch, etc. For that reason, I pray that he will go first as he really can't handle things on his own. If that happens, I will try to wind things down and sell the house, move into an apartment and know that once my time comes and I am gone, I won't care about what I missed.

And I have tried very hard to not worry about things I can't change. There is much of the newspaper that I simply don't read as it is too depressing. And that is how I am handling aging.

For whatever reason, as I have aged I have developed an obsession with excellent quality dark chocolate. I guess that's a healthier obsession than alcohol.

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@degarden_girl

Now, will you reveal the name of your excellent dark chocolate? I am a Sees candy lover myself and I also enjoy the occasional bottle of excellent champagne. At 78 it is about quality not quantity anymore.

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I have had See's chocolates and they are excellent. The 70% cocoa chocolate I can't resist is "Beyond Good" which is available in some grocery stores. Just thinking about it makes me crave it and I have to just not buy it if I hope to not gain weight.

Indeed, as we age, no cheap chocolate, no cheap champagne!

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Profile picture for bestlife71 @bestlife71

@babette

Four in the morning and looking for treatment for my severe depression and for my sons traumatic brain injury. I know that hearing other people’s experiences similar to mine is already making me feel better. Thank you.

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@bestlife71
may the good Lord bless you both with healing, strength and peace

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I wish for you ways to find comfort: pray, gather with loved ones, meet new people at events, church, get out in nature and enjoy God's beautiful creation. There is actual proof that walking even 15 min a day lifts our mood! Read a good book, sip some favorite tea, call a long lost friend or relative. Libraries and senior centers/communities offer free activities filled with fun as well as classes to learn hobbies or brush up on technology & such.
Get out there! You can do this! Sending hugs and good thoughts

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