Early Alzheimers: He thinks he can do things he no longer can

I could have written your post six months ago. You feel like you need a crash helmet on at all time.
Dementia has no rhyme or reason and I feel like I live with a preschooler.
I get annoyed with the constant interruptions with orders to look at a bird or event happening in our neighborhood. My husband taught shop classes for over 20 years and slowly could not do simple tasks around our house. He is at the point now where he does not realize that he was ever capable of doing said tasks.
My husband is not as angry as he used to be. He has not threatened to leave me or shout in the past few months. I am going to enjoy this stage, not knowing what the next stage will look like.
I do tire of him showing me pictures or telling me things multiple times a day.
Two doctors and a lawyer told my husband that he could not drive. My husband is upset about, but surrendered his license on his own. I am trying to get used to being the primary driver.
This forum and the UPCAP support groups are fabulous and help.
I keep reminding my self that I am in this for the long haul and to put my seatbelt on.

@upgirl2013
@kjc48
With my husband it's cattle that he points out (not birds).
He's fascinated by them now, talks about the cows on the hillside across the river, counts the cows, etc.
These cows have been there since we moved in 8 years ago, so it's just the last year or so that he has started the interest with the neighbor cows.
He also counts photos in our home all the time, how many of this or that family member.
It's rather fascinating, like a real-time science experiment.

Sorry about my auto correct!

@willow8 You will never be able to make him understand that he needs help with stuff. All you can do is subtly offer your help in a circumstance. Get used to grouchy, self deprecating resistance to so many things... It is tricky to transition to getting them to allow outsiders to repair things that they cannot repair any longer, just try to ease into the positive ways that someone who has professional knowledge could get it done in a shorter period of time, and maybe age plays into the repair (not dementia) and that this particular repair is more dangerous than other repairs...
The anger is his frustration with the disease and his lack of the understanding that he used to enjoy. You will have to grow thicker skin, unfortunately, and just try to not engage with him when he's yelling at you, (easier said than done).
I don't know what to tell you about the 3 hour drive he wants to do alone. My husband still drives, also, and gets confused sometimes. He knows he can't drive long distance or on freeways because we've eased him into that knowledge over some time. I'm really uncomfortable with him driving, as it is a dangerous liability, and one that I am dreading to delve into. His car is suddenly on the fritz this weekend and I'm thinking that this could be a Godsend, but we'll see.
That's my 2 cents for the day. I wish you luck and peace.

@upgirl2013
@kjc48
With my husband it's cattle that he points out (not birds).
He's fascinated by them now, talks about the cows on the hillside across the river, counts the cows, etc.
These cows have been there since we moved in 8 years ago, so it's just the last year or so that he has started the interest with the neighbor cows.
He also counts photos in our home all the time, how many of this or that family member.
It's rather fascinating, like a real-time science experiment.

@upgirl2013 Oh gosh, it's been such a horrible day, and I'm usually Ms. Positive.
Really, horrible. But I laughed out loud when I saw we feel like we need a "crash helmet." Amen, maybe that would cover my continued bald gray head. Yes, put our seatbelt on. My husband wants to show me birds too, what's up with the brain and birds? Right now, I just wish one, two of three of you were here at the table with me, trying to figure this all out. Thanks for being there, every one of you. Karla

@willow8 I've been up against the anger issues a few times now. My husband also has MCI diagnosed last summer. Short memory loss, has difficult sequencing things. does ask me the same questions over and over or will tell me something we already discussed. As for fixing things in our house, I would just call and get an electrician. Don't give him time to respond or try to do anything. And if he gets angry, just tell him you love him, and you thought it would be easier on you both to have a certified contractor take care of it because you worry about it being electrical related. Put it back on you, and your worry, not them and the fact that they can't or shouldn't do. As for driving three hours to see a friend, that's a no-go, and I'm not sure how you can handle that unless he has a local buddy who can go with him, that you trust. Perhaps, there's a local fishing club you both can join, so he can establish some friends locally that way. I know all of this is hard, because, once they lock in, and get used to a routine, that's the only routine they want, such as his three hours' away fishing buddy. Or maybe you can get the fishing buddy to come see him. My husband is still driving short distances, but I'm always with him on longer trips. My husband was a retired technology executive, who ended up in retirement a fishing charter captain, and caught 900 pound tuna. Now, he stands in the back of the house we're renting and takes his fishing rod and tries to catch a mullet in the water. It's all so sad to see life the way we knew it, disappear, but we're alive, they are still with us, and we love them and want to do everything in our power to preserve whatever memory and time they have.
We just need the courage to face the day, and any situation we're dealing with; clarity to know what to do and what to say, and God's light shining down to help lead our way. Best,

@kjc48 Wouldn't that be great if we could all meet?

@kjc48 Wouldn't that be great if we could all meet?

@lkbous PS, I wonder if we could do a Zoom call as part of this network. If a Mayo mentor picks this up and reads, can we get together on a Zoom call in addition to all these notes back and forth?
Best, Karla